Rumors were always a terrible thing.

They gave you hope, or crushed it. Misled, twisted, and destroyed so many things that Tolio had never been one to promote the awful gossip. But, for once, it had given him valuable information and a ray of hope in the darkness of his life. Was it true? Tolio could only hope so. This small bit of information? Mauja had returned. Where had he gone? That, again, was something Tolio did not know. Did it matter? In the end...no. Nothing really did, at that point. The young soldier had made his decision long ago, though it had really only taken a few long weeks. What had kept him from going through with it was the loose end Mauja had become. His King had been the first to welcome him into what would become the Basin. Tolio believed only the same stallion could bless him to leave.

He was unaware of when and how he had come to this decision. Nevertheless, in the end Tolio knew it was the right one. Somewhere along the line of his time in Helovia, he had stopped being 'Tolio' and started being someone else. Who was that person? It wasn't someone Tolio knew, or had ever wanted to be. Everyone's expectations, their reactions, had formed a skin that Tolio could no longer wear comfortably. Had he ever been able to? Was he truly so weak willed that he had conformed to what others wanted to see? Where had it even begun?

Everything had changed. Tolio looked at his reflection these days and realized that he had no idea who the person looking back was. When he'd come to Helovia, he'd been a wild spirit with the heart of a foal, gold and pure throughout. Yes, he fancied males even then, but he had been a warrior through and through. Where had that soldier gone? It seemed that now, he was just a wimp. To be candid, it made him sick to the very depth of his soul. Psyche had twisted him into a darker person. Phaedra had broken his heart a hundred times, and yet made him feel just as loved in return. Zikar-Sin had made him laugh, feel happier than he had in seasons, and yet he knew it would never work between them. Call it intuition. So many others had influenced his life in the Basin, but more than anything Tolio missed the days when he had lived in the Steppe. Everything had been perfect back then. All he'd needed, really, was for Faelene and Mauja to stay by his side. In that alternate universe, had he never met Phaedra on the beach that day, maybe he would have even turned racist. He could have done so much, if he'd done that one meeting differently.

But...there was no use in musing over what could have been. Tolio had made his decision, and he couldn't take them back. Yet, there he was, determined to forcefully change the path he was on to one that he actually wanted to travel. It was a hard decision. He would not be a part of the lives of his precious children, which he wanted more than anything else. Would they even know his name upon his return? Would they hate him for abandoning them, even if it was also to keep them safe? That thought was perhaps the one that hurt the most.

He stood on the very outskirts of the Basin's territory. As close to the Steppe as he could get. Freezing winter tundra at his back, weary snowy face turned towards the home that had never been his. Though the Steppe called to his heart, Tolio knew that wherever Mauja went, so would he. Did his King feel as lost as Tolio did? Where had he gone? Had he needed time to be away, like the cinnamon prince did now? Tolio cursed himself for being such a terrible servant to the Ice King, for having let his ruler go through whatever it was he had alone. More than anything, Tolio wished to have been there. Upon his return, did Mauja feel just as out of place as Tolio did? The Basin had been founded by the inky wraith known as Psyche, which had Tolio bitterly hating her. Who was she to take the throne of the one who truly deserved to rule? How dare she recruit beneath her name, when it had been Mauja who had led an entire bleeding herd into safety? Who had rounded them up and, with the integrity in his own body, kept them loyal to him? Tolio severely doubted that any of the ex-Edge regretted following the Bane. Though the young prince had not been there to help, to fight, he wished he had. Even then, he still never once regretted following Faelene, swearing himself to Mauja for the rest of his mortal life.

Psyche would never be as great as Mauja. All she could ever be in Tolio's eyes was a snake parading around in the guise of a lion. No matter how hard she tried, she would never reach the level Mauja had.

As much as Tolio wanted to stay, serve beneath Mauja for the rest of his life, he knew that in his current condition he was of no use in the first place. Hoping beyond hope that his King really was back, Tolio took in a deep breath of icy air. Deep inside he hoped that the others would look out for the FrostHeart, that when he returned Mauja once again ruled. Zikar-Sin hadn't even known the spotted leader, and Tolio swore that he would uphold Mauja's name wherever he went, as loyally as he could. Upon his return- he would return, Tolio would always return to Faelene and his King- Tolio would no longer bow before Psyche. Not unless Mauja told him to, of course, which he would do no matter how much he hated the mere idea. Bloody ears tilted along his head and he sang, a mournful howl that echoed eerily off the silent surface of the snow. He called to him only one person, hoping beyond hope that with all the strength he had put into the summons, somewhere in their great snowy land his Majesty would hear, and care enough to follow the sound.

It was time for Tolio to shed his title, and the skin that had formed so oppressively around him. He would leave, and find the light that had once burned so brightly within himself. When he returned, he prayed he would be normal enough to serve Mauja as a warrior should.