The visions of a small dark colt came vividly to life as Murdock spoke. His voice was calming, almost lulling her into a dreamlike state as she imagined his life before... Before her. It was painful for her to follow him through his tale of woe in spite of her curiosity and at times she found herself closing her eyes to shut out the foul images of her beautiful explorer locked away, hidden from the light of the sun where he so clearly belonged. Even now, the past seemed to weight heavy on his naturally carefree sense of self and as she watched him run away with his thoughts she couldn’t help but recognize something deep within him that reminded her of herself. It was a darkness that she had succumbed to and at times got lost in, but here Murdock had found a way to drown it out, burying the hurt with it.

When his gaze finally came to rest once again on her own, she couldn’t help but notice the longing she found there. It was nestled deep, but undoubtedly still there. It took everything she had to refrain from reaching out to touch his face or murmur softly to him with words of comfort that would have been all too foreign on her tongue. Instead she merely gazed at him, her eyes trying to relay some kind of encouragement even if she had never done as much for anyone else before. Everything about him made her feel out of her element and yet she sought his touch and his inherent ability to unwind her thread by thread until she was left standing before him naked and vulnerable. The feeling was wholly unnerving to her.

When it seemed that his reminiscing had led him to the present, he paused to look at her. She didn’t want to believe that he had experienced pain or anger or hurt, but it was there behind his smiles and his laughter. This time she reached out to him, her muzzle finding him hesitantly as he spoke once more. However, he had ignited a flame inside that Chernobyl had long been trying to extinguish. She flinched slightly under his scrutiny and turned away, debating if the truth would ever be able to find its way to her reluctant lips. It often clawed at the back of mind even on the happiest of days, but now it had reason to pound its way to the forefront of her thoughts, burning everything in its path. She was quiet for a moment as she pondered how to deflect his curiosity, but knowing that she could not deter him forever. As if an afterthought she glanced back at him with a weak smile. “Much too pretty for me to forget.”

It was not hard for her to give in to the sadness that lurked so deep in her heart and when she finally did, a soft sigh rushed past her lips. “I come from a place that deserves no name along with a family that deserves no mention.” Her body seemed to tremble with the effort as she forced her way over the words that had long been forgotten and furthermore, ignored. “But my mother, she was certainly a piece of work. She was beautiful- heartbreakingly so. I was her only daughter, her only child… and she loved me.” Blinking her eyes once, she opened them into eyes so similar to her own. The smile that greeted her was familiar as well, too familiar. Chernobyl smiled back, the pain bursting inside her chest as she gasped. I love you.

When the darkness began to roll in, she shivered. Night was falling over them and as the stars above began to hide away behind the clouds, Chernobyl began to grow restless. She searched within the shadows for her sanctuary, her place to hide… though she never found it- not then and not now. When her mother began to hum quietly behind her, she began to run. Her small legs spread out before her as the humming grew louder, more dissonant. It was a haunting tune that was pleasant at times in spite of the horror behind each note. Her mother called it a “lullaby”, but the filly knew better than to believe the twisted lips from which the song came. At first the chords were low and unassuming, but as they grew in pitch, Chernobyl knew the time was near. As the notes reached for the sky, her mother’s restless footsteps followed in her wake, eager and ready.

The hunt began.

Some nights, she ran until she could run no more. Others, she hid away behind tall oaks or under the plaintive limbs of unruly brush. But each night, she was revealed. Each night she was taken by the one who claimed to love her so… And each night, she endured the soft touches, the warm embraces… until the hunt was over. “I love you… I do.” She would say as she touched her sweet muzzle to the filly’s face. But I need to make sure that no one loves you as much as I. Trembling, the filly would wait for each blow, one after the other, so cruel and calculating. Torn flesh and broken bones, they were all the same- all in the name of love.

Quietly Chernobyl turned to Murdock, her eyes seemingly lost in in another world. Her smile had been replaced by the grim line of her suffering and now that the truth sat upon her tongue, begging for release, she let it come. “There’s no good way to say this, no pretty way to word the abuse I’ve been through. She beat me relentlessly to make sure my heart never went out to anything or anyone other than her.” Her heart pounded in her chest and she froze, trying to endure the embarrassment and the shame… Wasn’t she just like everyone else? Didn’t she tell the same old story to gain pity from those who cared to know it? It was sick really, the disgust she felt. She’d dealt with the hurt for so long and when she finally ended it, the journey to Helovia had been long overdue. “I killed her.”

Her voice was barely a whisper now, anger and frustration coating the fine walls that had kept her sane. She didn’t look to him nor ask him to look down upon it. Everything in her past simply was and would be. But, she would have to live with it until the day she died and had so thusly decided that she would live with the burden alone, until Murdock. “Have I scared you yet?” Her forced smile was unmistakable as she laughed bitterly. The rift had been formed and now she wondered if Murdock would be able to overlook it in order to redeem their friendship… or whatever it was.