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06-01-2013, 08:52 AM
Romani
Of all the things that she had expected Nayati to say, the words that came from the youngling's mouth were difficult to hear. Romani's ears tilted backwards as she listened, not missing the bitter tones of the spotted lady's tone. Oh, Gods... Now she had done it, hadn't she? Her quest for Kasai, for constant companionship, had been something she had done when she and Xanthos had been in their early stages. There was difficulty in their friendship that couldn't be named; the Basin unicorns had watched them at every turn, resorting to violence if they found both the grullo and the palomino consorting in any way. It happened seasons ago, yes, but to Nayati, the pain of betrayal was still very much present. And honestly, Romani couldn't blame her.
And then Xanthos...
Her beloved mate had instilled that he would not be bothered by the company of another to their close-knit family. Quite the opposite, in fact, for Romani was nearly certain that Xanthos loved children just as dearly as she did. The grullo had told her that he would welcome Nayati, if she would dare join them in the Edge, to their family, and in turn his heart. But could the Haflinger convince Nayati of this?
The filly was so much different than what Romani could remember. She was an adult stuck in the body of a filly, and while it brought tears of pride to the palomino's striking blue eyes, causing her chest to swell with joy on how much Nayati had succeeded and changed, her heart couldn't help but also be bogged down with sadness. After all... It was the fault of Romani herself, of Nayati's falsehood of a mother, the death of Svetlana, and the fault of all the others who had struck out and pushed the spotted filly away. It was their fault, yes, but Nayati who had paid the price.
"Nayati," came the murmur, spotting the signs of the filly's oncoming panic attack and wanting to stave it before it could strengthen, "Dear Heart... You're right when you say I have a mate now, and a child, but that does not mean that my family is complete. For so long, I..." Her voice choked, and Romani had to avert her blue gaze from the soulful mahogany that was Nayati's. The appaloosa failly had grown so much over their days apart. "When I first met you, I felt the need to protect you. To give you love and keep you safe from all that have harmed you. I felt the love for you that perhaps an aunt would feel for her niece, but as I grew to know you, my love for you deepend. You were, are my first child, Nayati; you are my blessing from the Gods, and I thank them every day for granting it that we met."
Pausing to breathe in, Romani continued on, once more meeting Nayati's stare. "It was never, ever in my intentions to hurt you or cause you pain, and I beg your forgiveness that I did. Heavens know that I cannot forgive myself, and so I don't fault you if you can't, but... Know that I still love you, Nayati, I always will. Like I said; in my eyes, you're my daughter. You always will be..."
The idea of Nayati remaining in the Foothills until Birdsong was very troubling, but the idea wasn't terrible. It was kind of Ktulu and Ophelia to allow the spotted filly to remain in their boundaries, and the Haflinger felt her respect for the two sisters of the Grey growing. While they had stolen her away from her home, and ultimately Nayati, they showed honor and respect for those who called this place home. It was... Admirable.
"If you so wish to remain here, in the Foothills, the land that you know, I won't argue with you, Nayati... But know that I will miss you, terribly. My heart aches for you, and what I have done, and everyone that have wronged you. If your true decision is to stay here, then-" Here, Romani's voice cracked and faded, as if she was unable to say the words. They were painful, feeling as though some mysterious force was crushing the heart in her chest, but somehow she forced the words out. They needed to be said. "Dear Heart... If you wish to remain here, then I'll accept it and respect your decision. But please... Know that you aren't a burden to myself, Xanthos, or our daughter. You're very welcome with us; you always have been. My family is, and never will be complete unless you are there with us."
Then, Romani's eyes shifted from Nayati, turning to survey her surroundings of the familiar hills of the Foothills. She was past the herd boundaries, she knew, but... For Nayati, she would risk it. The Grey had no interest from her, nor did any attempt of reclaiming her old home. No, her only interest right now would be convincing Nayati that she had no intentions on ever letting her first daughter, her gift from the Gods, go. At least in her heart.
"My love for you is eternal, Nayati. I have wronged you, yes, and I ask your forgiveness... Yet even if you cannot grant it to me right now, then I'll respect your answer. After all, I said terrible things to you, and I hate myself every day for what I had said. I wasn't myself, Nayati, please remember that. I didn't even know Xanthos; I acted just as foolishly when I saw him again, hurting him just as soundly. I suppose, my dear Nayati, what I'm trying to say is that... That I miss you, and I love you terribly. I will never again hurt you, and just know that... No matter what you choose, you'll always have a home in my heart."
Nayati was her child, and right now, Romani wanted nothing but her happiness. Even if that meant forsaking her own.
And then Xanthos...
Her beloved mate had instilled that he would not be bothered by the company of another to their close-knit family. Quite the opposite, in fact, for Romani was nearly certain that Xanthos loved children just as dearly as she did. The grullo had told her that he would welcome Nayati, if she would dare join them in the Edge, to their family, and in turn his heart. But could the Haflinger convince Nayati of this?
The filly was so much different than what Romani could remember. She was an adult stuck in the body of a filly, and while it brought tears of pride to the palomino's striking blue eyes, causing her chest to swell with joy on how much Nayati had succeeded and changed, her heart couldn't help but also be bogged down with sadness. After all... It was the fault of Romani herself, of Nayati's falsehood of a mother, the death of Svetlana, and the fault of all the others who had struck out and pushed the spotted filly away. It was their fault, yes, but Nayati who had paid the price.
"Nayati," came the murmur, spotting the signs of the filly's oncoming panic attack and wanting to stave it before it could strengthen, "Dear Heart... You're right when you say I have a mate now, and a child, but that does not mean that my family is complete. For so long, I..." Her voice choked, and Romani had to avert her blue gaze from the soulful mahogany that was Nayati's. The appaloosa failly had grown so much over their days apart. "When I first met you, I felt the need to protect you. To give you love and keep you safe from all that have harmed you. I felt the love for you that perhaps an aunt would feel for her niece, but as I grew to know you, my love for you deepend. You were, are my first child, Nayati; you are my blessing from the Gods, and I thank them every day for granting it that we met."
Pausing to breathe in, Romani continued on, once more meeting Nayati's stare. "It was never, ever in my intentions to hurt you or cause you pain, and I beg your forgiveness that I did. Heavens know that I cannot forgive myself, and so I don't fault you if you can't, but... Know that I still love you, Nayati, I always will. Like I said; in my eyes, you're my daughter. You always will be..."
The idea of Nayati remaining in the Foothills until Birdsong was very troubling, but the idea wasn't terrible. It was kind of Ktulu and Ophelia to allow the spotted filly to remain in their boundaries, and the Haflinger felt her respect for the two sisters of the Grey growing. While they had stolen her away from her home, and ultimately Nayati, they showed honor and respect for those who called this place home. It was... Admirable.
"If you so wish to remain here, in the Foothills, the land that you know, I won't argue with you, Nayati... But know that I will miss you, terribly. My heart aches for you, and what I have done, and everyone that have wronged you. If your true decision is to stay here, then-" Here, Romani's voice cracked and faded, as if she was unable to say the words. They were painful, feeling as though some mysterious force was crushing the heart in her chest, but somehow she forced the words out. They needed to be said. "Dear Heart... If you wish to remain here, then I'll accept it and respect your decision. But please... Know that you aren't a burden to myself, Xanthos, or our daughter. You're very welcome with us; you always have been. My family is, and never will be complete unless you are there with us."
Then, Romani's eyes shifted from Nayati, turning to survey her surroundings of the familiar hills of the Foothills. She was past the herd boundaries, she knew, but... For Nayati, she would risk it. The Grey had no interest from her, nor did any attempt of reclaiming her old home. No, her only interest right now would be convincing Nayati that she had no intentions on ever letting her first daughter, her gift from the Gods, go. At least in her heart.
"My love for you is eternal, Nayati. I have wronged you, yes, and I ask your forgiveness... Yet even if you cannot grant it to me right now, then I'll respect your answer. After all, I said terrible things to you, and I hate myself every day for what I had said. I wasn't myself, Nayati, please remember that. I didn't even know Xanthos; I acted just as foolishly when I saw him again, hurting him just as soundly. I suppose, my dear Nayati, what I'm trying to say is that... That I miss you, and I love you terribly. I will never again hurt you, and just know that... No matter what you choose, you'll always have a home in my heart."
Nayati was her child, and right now, Romani wanted nothing but her happiness. Even if that meant forsaking her own.
The True Soldier Fights Not Because
He Hates What is in Front of Him,
But Because he Loves What is Behind Him.
