I had pleaded for some sort of mythical answer that had no weight, an assessment of personal problems. Somehow we dared to hope that if only the right question could be crossed our lives would be made better—and hard choices taken away from the equation. Such would never come to pass. As Earth had said to the fires of revenge; there was no solution—all remained grey. When was it right to abandon one family for another? Or take a life? The socked warrior turns to me with a pity grin, knowing the answer my heart knew through wisdom; but understanding that whispers needed to be solidified.

“When the ones you love question what you believe to be right, life will never be easy.”

How many times had Ktulu requested my presence within her family, twice, thrice? I had turned the lady away, falling back to previous loyalties that snagged my soul. It wasn’t only for a slice of land, or even my vow to the Sultanas which held me—my father had been a defender and his father before him. A quiet history of generations passed. They had slipped from this world in previous wars, but they died with honor--defending their vows and promises. To leave my promises behind only for the sake of new ones would shame the history of our family; and what of the honor toward my comrades? It was getting harder to find willing warriors with a virtuous heart.

“What Ktulu and Ophelia have chosen has also driven a rift between myself and Soleil, one that I believe will never mend.”

I knew that this 'Soleil' was their Dame and his mate; Ktulu had never spoken of a mother—but then she also didn’t speak of her father either. The softness in their father was visible like fog over a lake on cold mornings, “Does she yet draw breath?” He had known love before, “However, I have seen love so selfless and pure that it transcends the will of the individuals." Was there shame in truly loving someone? Father had never been ashamed by the love he held for my Mother. I said nothing, only nodded to show that his words had been understood and taken. Still frowning grimly my eyes turn to Mauja as he begins to speak, “Is not family part of life?”

“Aye,” I say in agreement, though my heart throbs quickly and blood felt as if alive with needles. Family was part of our day to day lives. “Sometimes duty forces you to run against what you wish, herding you down a path you would not otherwise have walked. Is it strength to bow your head and follow it, carry out your orders until the last breath, or is it strength to break way and leave that path for another?” Mind spun in upon itself for a moment, then came out with an answer—“My father would have followed orders, and it is his teachings that has guided me thus far…but he is not here anymore…” I trail off, lapsing into silence. After a moment my lips slip apart to speak again, “I do my best honor his memory, though I fear it will fall short of his expectations.”