.svg/2000px-Google_Chrome_icon_(2011).svg.png){kind=icon}
04-30-2013, 12:02 AM
 Her smile makes you wonder where she's been Somehow, in the time she had been gone, Hana had grown better at concealing her emotions behind a veil just like Lakota did. Yet they were both reading each other, and neither seemed to truly desire to hide the tumultuous waves inside their hearts. They were warped mirrors, reflecting each other but with the slightest differences that made communication hard. So similar, they were. Same face, same stance, same expressive eyes. Though Lakota took after their father in her height, Hana had the softness of their mother's face that had tricked so many into her snare so long ago. It was what drew others into Hana's gravitational pull, the kindness that kept them there, the sweetness of her face and smile. Lakota is walking a thin line between anger and distress, because god damn it this is the kid she fucking raised. She watched her skin her knees, nibble her first taste of grass, shriek at her first experience with a river. And yet she betrayed her, made her a liar in the face of her best friend and Chieftess. Lakota had stuck her neck out for her sister, out of love, out of duty, out of a hope to keep her family close. Hana had responded by disappearing when they needed her magical talents the most. Lakota had been wounded, burned by this. And where was Alleo in all of this? Kota desired his company more than anything else, wishing his pale face would be the first thing she awoke to one morning and everything could be normal again. Alleo and Lakota, the original two. Hana had never driven them apart, perhaps had only drawn the elders closer together. How badly the dark princess wanted him there, to comfort her and hold her close in his silent way, give her advice about how to deal with their younger sister that was more like their child than anything else. Slim chest, somehow equal in size or larger than Kota's with her shorter height, is pushed out just as much as her own. Lakota nearly feels proud of her, but its an emotion that is shortly lived. Her sister is larger than her now, and still looks far more beautiful than Lakota could ever be. Briefly she wonders if she should feel proud for that, at least, but all she feels is the crushing self-hatred that always surfaces around her baby sister. Because she can never be that perfect, that sweet, that beautiful. Shouldn't she be happy that her little sister would one day attract a handsome stallion and create a nice happy family? Of course she is, but there is an ache inside her as well that wonders when she will have someone look at her and have them find her beautiful. It seemed impossible. Aodaun gave a tiny, happy growl to see Hana smile at him, and Lakota allowed it if only because she was stretched too thin to reprimand him. She feared that if she was pressed another inch, she would snap and her infamous icy composure would be wrecked completely. Words fall like flower petals from her sister's lips, where hers had been shards of glass. The shake in her tone both angers her and makes her heart constrict. So conflicted. She says nothing, remaining silent even as she explains why she had wandered off and not returned. Then her gaze is turning to the horizon behind Lakota, and the words that come next pierce her heart as surely as a blade. A choking noise, soft and wounded, is all that comes from her before the fire inside rages and she is pressing forward a few steps, getting in Hana's face and snarling like a rabid dog. Yet, when she speaks, her tone is level and cold as ice. "Have I replaced you?" It is controlled, but it is the calm before the storm. The canary has stopped singing, signaling that the dangerous air that lingers below is unsafe. "Are you forgetting who raised you? Who took every beating so that you would never know the pain of one? Who took on jobs Alleo could not because he was breaking apart, but wouldn't let you see him do it?" And she is slowly losing control, furious violet fires in her irises. But no, she will not allow Hana to push her over the edge. She will not be drawn down to her level. Instead she forces her ears to rise from where they had been angrily pinned, and deliberately measures each step she makes backwards. "Blood is thicker than water, Hana. I cannot replace my only siblings, the only family I have left. But I will not suffer through loneliness either, especially when I have a second family to turn to for companionship. Don't you ever accuse me of replacing you! Nobody here ever could, and you are selfish and childish to think I would ever be so low as to do such a thing! I have given so much for you, you think I would give up on you, give you up, so easily?" She is a hissing viper, ready to strike, and her voice is steadily rising. Aodaun is stuck between cowering and growling at a foe he doesn't understand, but she cannot spare him a thought in that moment of anger. "This is my family. You are my family. We are tied by blood, and I am tied to them through kinship and loyalty. It is different, and yet the same. Blood and water. So I would suggest you watch your words and think them through before speaking. Remember who it was that was beside you all those years, because it sure as hell wasn't some imaginary friend," she spat. But there is a deep wounded look in her eyes, and tears sting the back of them but none sleep free, only creating a sheen of glass over her gaze. She will not cry. She will not cry. She will not let Hana see how deeply she has hurt her, how she has stabbed the sensitive heart she hides behind anger, sarcasm, and danger. How could it be that Hana had forgotten how sensitive Lakota truly was? Or had she simply grown cruel? No, that couldn't be, for the look in her eyes makes it obvious that Hana believes herself on the right side of this, so surely her belief is so strong that this could not be cruelty. And then the sheen in her eyes grew stronger, tears desperately trying to break through when Hana confessed her love. Her mouth twisted in a grimace, trying to both appear strong and keep back the agony that twisted in her throat and demanded she let the diamond droplets dance down her cheeks. "I love you too, Hana. Of course I love you." And gruff as she tried to sound, as she usually always sounded, there was a waver in her voice that was a loud alarm that signaled to all who knew her even remotely that she was inches away from a breakdown. Hana had just stripped her bare, crushed her heart, and then pressed a kiss to it all with a few simple words. Lakota didn't know how to feel. Ktulu arrives, and once Lakota sees her at her side- though farther away than she would prefer- she lets out a choked sound in her throat that she tries to minimize desperately. It isn't possible, and both mares probably heard it, but she squeezes her eyes tight and takes controlled breaths until it goes away. Through their bond she feels Eytan playfully tackle Ao. Feels the joy that alights in her child's heart, and in her mind's eye with the help of the images she can glean through his mind she knows what he is doing. Aodaun rolled, yipping and growling in delight as he tore after Eytan without a second thought, tumbling through the undergrowth in a bout of chase that would likely lead to wrestling in the near future. Lakota opened her eyes and bid him a soft goodbye in her mind. Before Ktulu can spit the first word at her sister, Lakota is turning and moving towards her. She needs her, for once. Instead of always being there as the force behind Ktulu's form, she needs the comfort that they have recently formed between them. Kota tries her best to make what she does appear to be a greeting; sliding her muzzle from Ktu's shoulder over to her spine, dropping momentarily over her back before retreating. But she doesn't return to where she had previously been standing, unable to bear the distance when she is so shaken. Did Ktulu sense it? In the shuddering breath she let out when she touched Ktulu's dark carmine skin? In the quiver of her legs, the glassy look of her eyes? Barely able to separate herself from Ktulu's powerful, encouraging presence, Lakota stood quietly as closely as she could without seeming as if she were hanging off her Chieftess. Simply taking in the waves that came off Ktulu, peering at her slightly swollen sides in curious wonder out of her peripherals. Quietly she watched as Hana shrank back, horrified and clearly scared of the woman that had given her access to so many previously lost emotions. Lakota did nothing to save her, knowing Hana had to take responsibility for her actions. They were both adults now, and the lean poisoner could not continue protecting her forever. When Alleo was mentioned, and Hana tried to find her gaze, Lakota squeezed her eyes shut once again and turned her crown away towards Ktulu. She couldn't face this, couldn't see the accusation in the eyes she knew better than her own. Couldn't relive the fact that Alleo was still missing, the one precious person who had raised her, loved her, told her she was beautiful, protected her. Alleo was her world, her beloved big brother, and Hana could never understand the relationship Kota and Leo held. Hana and Alleo may be close, but she had never gone through what Kota and Leo had together. It would always be different, and it stung as if she'd been whipped to simply know that Alleo was out there, missing. For a long time after Hana had implored Ktulu, Lakota didn't speak. There were two sides struggling for dominance inside her. One demanded she ignore Hana, let her struggle and fight through this on her own if she wanted to be such a big girl. The other was the one that had protected this child since she was born, and the urge to do so was nearly impossible to ignore. So she knew that in the end she would say something, but let the silence drag on in hopes that Hana would understand the height of the cliff she stood upon. Especially after ripping Kota's heart to shreds moments earlier. At last she took a tremulous breath that only made her feel weaker, and tried to stand taller to compensate for that. She had to try and make it seem like her heavily guarded heart had not been destroyed by the accusation that Lakota had abandoned and replaced her siblings with ease. Despite the ease with which she blocked others out with her icy, vapid mask, Lakota felt things far deeper than most. Kept every scar recorded on her heart to try and keep herself from making the same mistake, forever aching and hurting from the wounds that had made their home on her emotions. "You have healing magic, that much is clear. You were absent when we had injured members, when we fought for the land tooth and nail that you now ask acceptance into." Even if Ktulu would make the final judgement, her own words were like the death sentence, rolling off every crime until they reached the verdict and the gavel came down. "Already we have two medics, but it is not required that you become one seeing as the magic you have to heal is not gained from the land itself. You say to grace you with any punishment we see fit?" Gaze flickers automatically to Ktulu, not only for encouragement but for permission. Of course she feels she does not need it, as she had sworn the day Hana was accepted that she would deal with her should she ever cause trouble or need to be thrown out. "Ktulu will pick your official punishment. However if you wish to apologize to me, I require one thing." Gaze flickered up and settled on Hana, feeling old and broken and knowing it was at least hinting on her face. She couldn't bring herself to care. "I will pick three of our mercenaries for you to spar against. There will be no healing yourself or them with your magic, I want you to feel how sore we were when we won the invasion. I want you to know how to fight, and feel what it's like to be facing down fear." Already she is picking names, mercenaries such as Rafe, Archibald, and Circe. Perhaps Locket. Kota stepped back and turned towards Ktulu, giving her the floor, and pressed her forehead gently to the bend just behind her right elbow. Breathing deep and inhaling her scent, wondering why things had to change so quickly, why Hana couldn't have the understanding that Ophelia held towards Ktulu. Would she never understand Lakota's ways?  |
