I would love to imagine that I could tame the beast, that I could civilize him and that he would be the mate I have always dreamed of, but deep down I know that this will not happen. It is neither a sad revelation nor and angry one; in fact, I greet this fact with a neutrality that I had not known I possessed. Perhaps I had cried out my emotion before Phaedra had flown away... in any case, when he draws away from me and I see the uncertainty in his gaze, I know that I have not reacted in the way that he might have wished, nor has he reacted in the way I might have. And that is alright, too.
The sudden bitterness that enters his voice and his face surprises me. What in the world would my primal steed have against Levi? For one so... lacking in sociability, I would think it difficult to offend Gaucho, but perhaps I am mistaken. Still, Levi was once my friend - perhaps he still is - and from the stallion I remember, I am hard put to guess what he might have done to upset the brute before me. There is, however, much that I do not know, a fact that seems to dance before me more and more frequently of late. I am brought back to my senses when I realize that Gaucho is still standing before me, waiting with a rather inquisitive expression. Is he asking me permission? Do I even have the right to give him that? "Go," I tell him, forcing a smile onto my face despite my discomfort and insecurities.
When he goes, I watch him leave. I do not move to return to the wall which I have been working on so steadfastly. I do not even wait until he is out of my sight. No, I stand perfectly still and I remember the most beautiful Frostfall landscape I have ever seen. I close my eyes and envision a land to the north where a blanket of ivory protects the ground below from the harsh winter air - but the serenity of the scene is interrupted by the appearance of a winged, antlered steed galloping through the snow.
As I open my eyes and turn to the wall, I suddenly feel unbearably sad.
"talk talk talk"
Live... I want to live on fire
Die... I want to burn out brighter
Brighter than the northern lights
Want to live to feel the daylight
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[P] 2 bottles of whiskey for the way [Soh]
![[Image: sohtable.png]](http://imageshack.us/a/img402/8306/sohtable.png)