fight to save a smile

the Rift

[PRIVATE] fight to save a smile

Aylin Posts: 89

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Mare :: Unicorn :: 16.0 :: 3

ali

05-23-2013, 09:19 PM

...aylin...

crying isn't secret, it's the art of how we grieve

The tears just kept coming and I felt ashamed of myself, allowing myself to feel so much self pity. There was no way my mother would ever allow herself to stand in the middle of a forest and cry for herself. Would she? I sniffle and shake my head as another wave of sadness washes over me leaving me feeling helpless in its wake. It should be impossible to miss anyone as much as I miss my family. It almost feels as if they're dead and I'm grieving for them. I am grieving, but they're not dead. They're living in a safe place that makes them happy and I'm wishing they were with me, back in danger. Unhappy. How horrible am I?

I make a sound that is something between a cough and a bitter laugh. I don't think I could be anymore horrible or pathetic if I tried. It's amazing how quickly one falls. How one can go from being as happy as can be as a foal and miserable as a two year old. It makes me feel despair just thinking about how much life I had left before me. I don't think I want to live to a ripe old age feeling like I feel now. I think I'd rather just lay down in the forest and let the predators have me. If mom or dad could hear me now they would both scold me.

"Mim? Are yuh alright?"

Oh! When did he get here? I jerk my head up, emerald eyes probably white ringed with fright that I had not noticed someone come to me until he was upon me and spoke. "I..." I had to pause to clear my throat. "I'm fine." I wonder if he can tell that I'm lying through my teeth. Probably so, and that's why I force myself to smile halfheartedly, though it falters and disappears quickly. "Who are you?"

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