NO!

The cry was a silent one, a plea, and its voice was panicked, rousing the attention of the shadow mare immediately. It was impossible to get anything useful out of the frantic dragon, who could not describe the feeling that had triggered such a reaction, but merely knew that they must move, now! It was not completely with her will that Mirage bowed her tiara to her chest and summoned the magic that would change her physique. The pain that came with the change was all consuming, but there was a different kind of pain thrumming against her skull as Akaith flew higher and higher in the sky, preparing for a lengthy, speedy flight.

With a golden muzzle and a pleading glance thrown towards her lover, Vikram, Mirage took to the skies, flapping hard to gain altitude, to rise high in the sky so that her wings could fill with air and propel her forward. Akaith had already begun her flight, travelling as fast as a bullet south - had something happened at the Throat? No, came the sad, echoing reply, and Mirage was filled with dread at the sensation of mourning that filled the little gold's body. Who? the dragonmare pressed upon her bonded, as if trying to squeeze the answer from her.

She didn't receive a clear answer. What she received was a jumble of images cascading through her skull, flashes of a golden smile, a kiss upon the brow, a warm embrace, an admission upon a mountaintop, a declaration of love to a false lover, a thousand regrets, a brown dragon, a healer's touch reviving her, saving her from certain death as she bore daughters too great for her own body.

No…

It couldn't be. It simply could not be. She could not allow it, she was not ready. Faster, and faster still she pushed herself on, determined to save his life where he had saved hers. Her beloved Torasin, her first friend in these new lands, her beloved sunny stallion, who wore a smile to hide all the hurt that went on beneath - just as she wore her mask of shadowy indifference to hide the truth from those who would use it against her. They were kindred spirits, since that first day together, they had always been together - and she had thought that they always would be together.

Was she a fool for not allowing herself to love him wholly and completely, for never speaking the words that would have meant they would have been sharing sons and daughters together? Was she a fool for never telling him just how much he meant to her? Vikram held her heart, he inspired her to be a mother - but there had been plenty of times that she had fought the same urges when in Torasin's presence. He is not allowed to die - HE IS NOT ALLOWED TO DIE! the thoughts tumbled with frantic desperation through her skull, again and again, over and over, a morbid mantra, a chant that she hoped if she put enough will behind it, would mean it would come true.

The Deep Forest was familiar to her, though it had been many season since her last visit. In fact, the last time she had come here, was to welcome into the world Thor's daughter, Essetia. Now she was here to farewell her longest held friendship to the ether of Helovia.

It can't be true..

Denial was a wonderful thing. It allowed one to convince themselves beyond a measure of a doubt, that something significant had not just happened. But it had happened. The metallic taste of blood fell upon her nostrils, and Akaith darted through the trees, leading her with a mental trail to where the body laid. The little dragon sung a mournful song, and above her, the DragonHeart sung too, her voice echoing over the snowy canopy. Folding her enormous wings, she dived through a gap just large enough to allow her through, landing with a rough draconic snort pressing out of her nostrils. Shutting her eyes, she summoned the magic that would give her back her equine form, tears springing to her eyes as the pain engulfed her once more, pain that wasn't caused just by her magic.

When she opened her eyes, she saw the damage that had been wrought upon her beloved best friend's body. The way the blood and bones fell from the open wound upon his back, the way the dragon slept in an endless slumber upon his flank, the way his eyes were shut, as if hiding from larger terrors, the smile that curved his luminous golden lips. Mirage blinked, and blinked again to remove the tears that swiftly filled the charred eyelids. Her muzzle dropped to his form, just as Akaith landed and wept over the young, formerly virile form of Kiba, cradling his draconic crown in her own dextrous claws, crying to the darkness of the Deep Forest that surrounded them.

Mirage's muzzle touched his cheek first, blowing a kiss against it, drinking in the scent that lingered there, before the stale stench of death overwhelmed it. Tears fell freely from her eyes, streaming down her cheeks to fall upon his golden and ivory hide. "Torasin." She said, and immediately she was reminded of his insistence to call him Tor, that very first day they had met, and despite the tears, the torment of her grief, she gasped a choked laugh at the silly memory. "Oh, Torasin. It was never meant to be this way." Her voice, usually so controlled and even, was so thick with emotion, it was almost impossible to recognise as her own.

It was then that, amidst the pale surroundings, the mare saw the icy tree that stood before her. But she was too absorbed in the grief, the horror, the sheer depression that now enveloped her, she did not see it as a clue to the killer of her friend. She saw it as winter's own way of saying farewell, and without a second glance, she turned her gaze back to her friend, as if she was unwilling to believe her eyes - and that was probably true too. "I love you, Torasin. I always did, from that very first day that you greeted me with that ridiculous smile of yours. You were the first soul I ever met upon these lands, and I could not have asked for a better friend, comrade, guardian of my heart."

"If it weren't for you, I would not be standing here today." Deep down, she knew the fallen could not hear her, but that didn't stop the words from coming. "Torasin, I'm not ready to do this alone." Her voice was a whisper now, as her maw hovered above his ear, the words meant only for him. There were few in this world the mare ever felt comfortable enough with in sharing her deepest, darkest secrets; Torasin had been one of them.

How was she supposed to go on?