H e s t i a | T o n k a
- - - - -
By my verdict TONKA is the winner.
Tonka receives 1 VP.

HESTIA -- post 1 (attack only)

[Realism]
- 1| Attack: Kicking out at Tonka's poll. I do not believe Hestia has enough time to get airborne and fly over Tonka's head. Earlier in the post, Hestia mentions lurching forward toward him. Tonka is nearly 16 inches taller than Hestia. A split second and small distance is not enough time to allow for Hestia to put 7 feet between her and the ground.
+ 1| Attack: Kicking out toward his rump. Positioning inherited from the former attack.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Easy Read
0 | Flow: Grammatical and spelling errors ruined the flow of this post, and made it choppy to read.

---

TONKA -- post 1

[Realism]
0 | Injury: Kick to the head. There is no mention of cognitive disorientation that would go with a blow to the head. Have you ever been kicked by a horse? It would do a lot more than give you a cut if they hit you in the skull!
+ 1| Defense: Side-stepping right to avoid the kick.
- 1| Attack: Horn to the left side. This is all well and good, but "side" is too broad of a target. The main reason I am counting off, however, is Hestia kicks for his ASS, which means she is facing him rump to rump, and you write Tonka as running forward. This is basically running away from Hestia and not toward her. Don't forget to turn around!
- 2| Powerplay: "If his hit succeeded then it would cause a small gash on her side." -- You may not determine how severe an injury is, regardless of if you make the hit avoidable. Only your opponent can decide how they take damage.
+ 1| Attack: Bite to the neck. Positioning inherited.
- 1| Borderline Powerplay: "He then scurried to stand right in front of her..." -- You may only attempt to stand in front of your opponent, but you may not dictate that you definitely will. For instance, Hestia has wings, so she could clothes-line him and keep him from passing her side.
+ 1| Attack: Tonka uses SAND ATTACK. It may possibly be effective!
0 | Sidenote: "If this move worked, it would cause her discomfort ad maybe even blind her for a couple of seconds." -- This I didn't count as powerplay because it's sort of a given sand in your eye is uncomfortable, and you put maybe in front of the blinding.
+ 1| Attack: Kick toward the chest.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Easy Read
+ 1| Flow

---

HESTIA -- post 2

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: Sidestep to the right to lessen the horn strike. No mention of pain, but the scrape described doesn't appear to be damaging to much except hair follicles.
+ 1| Defense: Rearing up to redirect the bite to the left shoulder.
- 1| Defense: Flying to get out of the range of the dirt. The reason I am counting off, again, is because you seem to assume that taking off (from a stand still, even) is a split second action. Sidestepping would be about the same amount of time as Tonka kicking up the dust, but for you to have completely cleared away into the air? I don't think so.
0 | Attack: Kick? to the back. The reason I did not award a point here is because you mention locking legs, but you fail to specify which set of legs you're attacking with. I'm assuming the front; still, it's never clearly dictated.

[Prose]
+ 1| Easy Read
0 | Flow: The switching of perspectives mid-paragraph disrupted the overall flow. See here: "He the turns his head towards me and attempts to bite my neck. Reared up, she takes the bite to her left shoulder, instead of her neck. I feel no blood yet it stings very much."
0 | Emotion: Mechanical for the majority of the post.

---

TONKA -- post 2

[Realism]
+ 1| Injury: Hooves to the back.
- 2| Powerplay: Hestia never states that she lands, yet you assume she does. Plus, you states that you are facing her, which you can only attempt to place Tonka there.
+ 1| Attack: Rearing toward the right side of her withers. I did not want to double penalize you, since I counted off for her still being airborne for powerplay. Inheriting that position, this would be an okay attack.
0 | Attack: Kicking for the middle of her neck. This attack assumes hugely that Hestia is at a standstill, when Tonka would be much slower to turn around than she would to move forward. I believe you should have stated your aim less specifically.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
0 | Flow: Glaringly obvious grammatical and spelling errors riddled throughout detracted a lot from my focus during this post. Always proofread for those obvious ones!
+ 1| Easy Read

---

HESTIA -- post 3

[Realism]
0 | Defense: Recoiling away from the rear, redirecting the strike to her right wing. Unfortunately, I think the wing is much more delicate than you would write it here. There is also no mention of pain.
- 1| Defense: Rearing to evade a kick. Without forewarning, a rear would take more time than a flash of a kick. You also fail to mention pain or the extent of the injury.
- 1| Attack: Bite to the ass. Tonka is, again, much taller than Hestia. I do not believe should could bite on his spine, without being airborne. Plus, Tonka clearly says he turns around after his kick.

[Prose]
+ 1 | Easy Read
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Emotion

---

TONKA -- post 3

[Realism]
- 1| Borderline Powerplay: "...hard enough to break any bones, but it was forceful enough to possibly make it hard for her to fly." -- Hestia's post does not illustrate this. Stop trying to make your opponent's injury seem worse than it is. We do not award many points (if any) for the least injured, so there is no need to force damage on your opponent.
0 | Injury: Bite to the rump. You should not have taken this bite on the rump if you knew you were facing the opposite way. It was vague on the exact location, but fine otherwise.
+ 1| Attack: Bite toward the left shoulder.
0 | Attack: "Backing up" and then galloping over to try to slash Hestia's legs. You are vague on "backing up". It seems to me you put a lot of distance between Hestia and Tonka, but this set of words suggests a few minor steps. I think you would need more room than that to work up to a gallop, much less lower your head to strike legs.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy Read

---

HESTIA -- Closing defense
[Realism]
- 1| Borderline Powerplay: "We both were sweating hard..." -- Tonka says nothing about sweating, much less hard, since the first post. I would not assume any state of your opponent that would make them seem physically exhausted when they are not.
- 1| Borderline Powerplay: "...and I manage to rip all seven layers of his tough skin." -- Tonka never states that it tears through ALL of his skin, just that a piece of flesh is missing. That could be any manner of thickness. Do not place damage that is not clearly stated by your opponent.
+ 1| Defense: Recoiling right to avoid his bite.
0 | Injury: Cut to the inner left knee. The legs are sensitive, and this would be a painful wound. You fail to mention any pain whatsoever.

---

HESTIA

[Bonus]
+ 1| Breed Differences: You mention this several times, keeping it in mind, and considering it in terms of how it affects the battle. However, you fail to utilize it correctly at times, including the vast difference in height.
+ 1| Surroundings: You mention the surroundings, but never directly use them in your battle.

[Injuries]
+ 1| Least injured

[Creativity]
Nothing of note.

Comments: You typically have a very clean and realistic sense of defending, which I found to aid you a lot in this battle. However, you have a lot to learn about height differences, taking off and landing, as well as responding appropriately. You have a lot of potential for battling, but you need to work on some of the basics. Invest in using a word processor, too! Small grammatical errors can really start to add up and detract from your posts. Taking a few minutes to proofread can help streamline your post, and your judge and opponent won't be distracted by small problems.

---

TONKA

[Bonus]
+ 1| Breed Differences: You maintain an awareness of the height difference between Hestia and Tonka, but you do not use it to your advantage during this battle.
+ 2| Surroundings: You are mindful of the surroundings, but even better, you used the sand in an attack! I really enjoyed seeing the surroundings take an active role in this fight.

[Injuries]
None.

[Creativity]
Nothing of note.

Comments: Your largest problem in this fight was powerplay! Be extremely careful not to force positioning, injuries, or otherwise on your opponent. Do not dictate what sort of injury attacks will make if they hit. That is entirely up to your opponent, and you do not know how they may move to change your attack's original strength. Allow the judge to determine if they take appropriate damage - it's our job. Other than that, I think you have a good grasp of the basics. However, you made some rookie mistakes that I thought were confusing. For instance, when Hestia bit Tonka's rump, instead of just kicking out, you had Tonka turn around to bite her shoulder. You also took a lot of damage I think you should have avoided. Also, proofread! You had a lot of simple grammatical errors I could have lived without as well. You have a good base but need practice! Keep up the good work.

---

TOTAL
Hestia - 57
Tonka - 61