Ulano | Castiel
- - - - -
By my verdict Castiel is the winner.
Castiel receives 1 VP.

Ulano -- post 1 (attack only)

[Realism]
- 2| Powerplaying - "... I toppled over the other side, spitting hair out of my mouth, and faced the stallion." - Having ripped hair from an opponent, even though it's rather miniscule damage-wise, is still considered powerplay. You also cannot say that you faced Castiel, because he might have moved completely away by now or launched his own attack to prevent any of Ulano's attack from happening.
+ 1| Attack: Throwing self onto Castiel's back and biting for his withers.

[Prose]
- 1| Emotion - You said words like 'anger', but I didn't feel it while reading through this post.
+ 1| Easy Read
- 1| Flow - There were some grammatical errors in this, and many one line sentences that would have flowed much better with the addition of commas.

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Castiel -- post 1

[Realism]
+ 1| Injury - Teeth to withers.
+ 1| Defense - Bucking to try and rid Ulano from his back.
+ 1| Attack - Kicking out at Ulano.

[Prose]
- 1| Emotion - You made a good attempt at emotion, but it still felt dry to me.
+ 1| Easy Read
- 1| Flow - Lots of run-on sentences and some spelling errors.

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Ulano -- post 2

[Realism]
+ 1| Injury - Kick to the cheek.
- 1| Attack - 'I immediately threw myself at him him once again.' You gave me no direction to go from on this; where is Ulano, exactly? To Castiel's left, right? In front of him? How is he throwing himself at Castiel? I don't know, thus I cannot grant you a point.
- 1| Attack: Attempting to grab Castiel's horn in his mouth. This isn't a very smart attack, because you could very easily end up with with a horn through your mouth or down your throat. Keratin(my assumption of what Castiel's horn is made of) is very strong material, and not at all easy to break off.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
- 1| Easy Read - I had a difficult time figuring out just where Ulano was throughout the entirety of this post.
- 1| Flow - Several spelling errors, and too many periods where there should be commas.

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Castiel -- post 2

[Realism]
- 1| Attack - '... attempted to throw the other horse over...' This would be all fine and dandy, but how is he trying to throw Castiel to the ground? By simply barreling into him? And is he charging at Ulano's side, or head-on, where he would be running towards his stomach?
- 1| Dropped Attack - You didn't mention Ulano trying to grab Castiel's horn. Even if it misses and doesn't effect Castiel, you still need to add something like, 'watching the other stallion snap uselessly towards my horn.'

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion - Better!
+ 1| Easy Read
- 1| Flow - Still having run-on sentences.

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Ulano -- post 3

[Realism]
+ 1| Borderline Powerplay - "When the larger stallion ran under me, I landed on his lower neck" and He easily kept running.' Under no circumstance can you say what did and did not hit, nor can you say what the other character is still doing.
- 1| Attack - Rearing up and flopping across Castiel's back. This is possible given the time frame of attacks, but horses don't really 'flop' as you described, and that's all that you really gave me to go off of. It's not a clear description, so I have to count off.
+ 1| Attack - Thrusting hind feet downwards to try and hit Castiel's shoulder.

[Prose]
- 1| Emotion - This post felt very dry to me.
+ 1| Easy Read
- 1| Flow - Still having several run-on sentences as well as spelling errors.

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Castiel -- post 3

[Realism]
+ 1| Injury - Ulano's hooves to his side.
+ 1| Defense - Bucking to try and get Ulano off of his back.
+ 1| Attack - Rearing up and trying to fall backwards on top of Ulano.

[Prose]
- 1| Emotion - This post was dry to me.
+ 1| Easy Read
- 1| Flow - Lots of run-on sentences and lack of puncuation.

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Ulano -- post 5 (defense only)

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: Sticking legs out to try and protect self from Castiel's falling body.

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Ulano

[Bonus]
+ 1| Breed: You mentioned the differences of breed between Ulano and Castiel.

[Injuries]
- 1| Ending the fight not standing

[Creativity]
Nothing of note.

Comments: Commas are your friend! I would suggest using more of them to make your posts flow better. You should also work on putting more description into your attacks and defenses, because a lot of the time I had difficulty trying to paint a picture in my mind, so to speak, of what was going on and just where Ulano was, and how he was doing some things. If you keep on top of regular sparring(many people here are happy to offer critiqued spars with every post, myself included), then I know you can make a great fighter some day. Good job!

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Castiel

[Bonus]
+ 1| Health
+ 1| You mentioned the differences of breed between Castiel and Ulano.

[Injuries]
- 1| Ending the fight not standing

[Creativity]
Nothing of note.

Comments: I'd like to see you work on adding some more punctuation, because while it doesn't count towards your 'realism' points, it does matter in your 'prose' points and makes it a lot easier to read. With this being your first spar, you did very well with trying to put emotion into your posts, but it still needs improvement. This is something that even our experienced fighters have difficulty with, so just keep trying! Most everyone is happy to help you with suggestions on how to improve if you just ask. With some more sparring, I think you'd have a good grip on fighting mechanics. Good job!

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TOTAL
Ulano - 48
Castiel - 54