Hotaru was pissed.

Raeden’s flashy coloring betrayed her, she may have only lurked for a few moments while she had been weak in Tingal’s presence upon his return, but there was no hiding her trespassing. After all this time, simply missing, she dared to show her face with that sneer and mocking expression? Hotaru had suffered in silence and solitude, daring to miss and long for her arrogant twin! She had grown so much stronger, developed a personality of her own, finally set her hooves upon the path she was determined to tread. And instead of returning at a proper time, in a respectable circumstance, her twin dared to spy upon one of her most intimate moments, one of the few hours when she was weak? Like hell Hotaru was going to be considered weak! Not after all she had suffered, and definitely not after all the hell she’d gone through because of her twin’s arrogance and need for control! Ru regretted ever wishing her twin would reappear from her terrifyingly sudden and unexplainable absence. She regretted ever thinking Raeden would feel anything akin to guilt for leaving her and Phaedra on their own, for making them all worry. She would never change. Hotaru was a fool to think she ever would.

So when a dark chocolate head poked from the bushes curiously, Hotaru was quick to respond to the call of her leaders. Ophelia’s departure had hurt her soul, the beautiful and intelligent mare an idol, a role model. Hotaru desired only to have the snowy soul’s beauty and grace, and her twin’s strength and passion. She also felt a great deal of respect, not only because the Forsaken had once been her Queen, but because she’d had the strength to go her own path, to leave her twin when it was her time. Hotaru missed her, and it was finally time to make her decision. this meeting would define the rest of her life.

Storming into the meeting, hair a beautiful wind-tossed mess, horn tall and shining proud in the moonlight, she bared both eyes to the world in an act she had never done. She was no longer going to hide from who she was. Let them judge her. Let them stare. They were nothing to her, had never been anything to her. Not even her own family had been there for her in the time she’d been alive, from birth to the very moment she was experiencing that second. Standing on the outskirts, facing out towards the crowd at Ktulu’s side, even if she was a good few lengths away, her expression was turned to stone, she listens to what must be said. There is a fierce pride in her chest when her dear Apollo is promoted to Chief. He deserves it. Normally Hotaru would declare that her mother would rise to the position. Phaedra is the best spy they have, even from the standpoint of a normal citizen and not her daughter. But Hotaru knew Phaedra could never lead. She couldn’t inspire, control. There was more to leading the Intelligence class than being the top of it. Then again, she’d never been very close with her mother.

Her eyes, finally free for all to see- and wow wasn’t that a strange feeling?- locked onto Raeden, and narrowed into the fiercest, coldest expression she could muster. Hotaru was tired of being her slave, of being mocked and bullied. Today was the end of that, and the beginning of a new life independent from her twin. So she stepped forward, frame held high and proud for the first time in her life, white fire in her eyes as her beloved Goddess smiled down on her, supporting her every step, giving her strength. Hotaru liked to think she was like her. Easily forgotten, guiding others silently, yet with a power over so much more than they could imagine. Curving her body in the same feline, graceful fashion of her family, something she had never used, she turned her back on Rae to face Apollo. Facing him seriously, quiet for many long moments. “You deserve to stand there, Apollo. Let the fire in your heart always burn fiercely. Let the calm inside your mind lead the Foothills well. You are a born leader.” Next her eyes turned to Ktulu, the serious calm of her face unbroken despite the warmth and gratitude within her eyes as she gazed at the deep bloody woman. “You gave me and my family a home. I will not spit at your feet. Someday I hope to have your strength, Chieftess. Let the blood flow hot, and show no mercy to those who scorn you.” Quietly she turned away, everything about her movement silent. Hooves made no sound upon the slick earth. She was a ghost, a bird ready to take flight, ethereal.

A sad, sad smile drew upon her face as she turned to greet Mesec’s solemn gaze. He had already lost so much. Roskuld, Ophelia, Hototo. Could she truly add herself to that list? Would he miss her, as she would miss him? The way Raeden gazed so intimately at him disturbed and disgusted her, but she could not protect Mesec. He could do so on his own. If he made the mistake of becoming entangled in her twin’s disastrous, repulsive web, Hotaru could not change his mind nor actions. Only hope that the strength she’d seen in his spirit when they’d first met would hold him strong, and keep him far away from Raeden’s influence. Hotaru had seen what Phaedra had done to good souls like Apollo, she did not want the same end for her best friend, for someone who had just as good and kind of a soul. She did not want to see Mesec ruined and heartbroken. The Moon child deserved better.

Was it obvious now, what she was doing? Did her family feel a clenching inside them? Did they even know her well enough to be able to tell what she was planning?

Would they miss her?

Taru stopped directly before Mesec, her eyes sad, a weak smile on her lips. “You are my best friend, Mesec. I don’t want to abandon you. I wish I could stay, Mesec,” she whispered, lyrics strained and eyes suddenly moist with the need to cry. Her voice choked up. “There are people here who hate me, Mesec. I can’t stay here without...without...” Even the thought of what she wanted to say broke her into silence, and she had to breathe sharply and swallow the lump in her throat before she could continue. Her voice was soft, quiet. Those who were close could likely hear every word, but it was not meant for all those gathered. It was a soft, solemn confession meant only for the quiet colt’s ears. In a bitterly amused way she wondered if she was making him uncomfortable with all this attention, all these heartfelt words. Most likely. Hopefully he would understand that she was only doing it because she couldn’t just...leave, and leave all these things unsaid. “I love you, Mesec, you are my heart brother, even if we have no blood between us. You can always find me, I will always be there for you, you dork,” and if her voice cracked on those last two words, who could blame her?

Reaching forward she pressed their muzzles together briefly, and then stepped close so that their chests barely brushed, drawing her cheek across his shoulder. Taking in his scent, his warmth, before slowly withdrawing. As she did her eyes cut over to where Raeden was sending flirtatious eyes at him, and a snarl broke over her features, a silent warning to not mess with her best friend, or she would do even worse things to her sister than abandon and disown her. Perhaps she was disowning herself...

Retreating from Mesec as quickly as she could without ruining her composure- she could not bask in his presence any longer without crying- she turned to the only one who’d been there night and day for her. Lakota knew what she was doing, Taru could see it in her eyes, and there was a heartbroken look inside her eyes, unable to be hidden by her calm, icy features. Pearly pink fae moved forth and pale muzzle met dark. Lakota gave a soft huff, and her eyes shut, and the hitch in her breath betrayed her to Hotaru. She wanted to cry too. “Be safe, brat,” Lakota whimpered softly, meant for her ears only. “I will Auntie. Thank you for everything. I love you.” That was all that needed to be said, but the soft, sad whine that came from Aodaun broke her heart. He was glancing between his bonded and his charge, confusion evident in his body language. Hotaru couldn’t handle his sweet face, her aunt’s heartbroken expression that had finally taken refuge in more than her eyes.

But she had two more people to face, and she whirled upon her family. The one she’d never been able to rely on, the one she’d never trusted, loved, or felt loved in. Her tears would not be wasted on their blackened, vain souls. A horrible snarl was wedged upon her features, far worse than the one she’d cast her twin, as she finally faced the two that had never supported her. Had brought her down. “You,” she growled. “I cast you off, both of you. For never being there, for leaving me to rot. I may not sparkle every time I shake my ass at some stallion, and I may not take after her like the most vain person I have ever had the displeasure of being a twin to, but at least I’m fucking honest,” she hissed, uncaring that she was completely disrupting the herd meeting. At least she hadn’t succumbed to screaming. Words pieced harder than any strength of voice could. “I don’t know how the hell I’m related to such selfish, shallow, repugnant people. I’ll be surprised if you’ll even miss me, even care that I’m leaving.” There it was, the final bomb. She’d finally said it.

Shaking her pale locks, she turned away from them slightly. “Consider this the only goodbye you’ll get from me. I don’t expect you to be upset. I was never part of your family.” There was a whisper of sadness, of heartbreak and dejection, in her voice. She’d given up trying to make them proud, tired of being their footstool. But despite all that, she still felt a searing pain in her heart. Were the rare moments of tenderness from Raeden all a lie? Her twin was the one person she'd wanted to make proud, and she'd thought there had been love lingering hidden beneath her desire to impress Taru. It killed her to think she had been wrong all this time, that she was such a screw up even her twin didn't want her around. But she couldn't let it seem like she thought that. No, she had to be the strong person she was becoming, she had to shed those weak qualities. Even if it killed her. Quietly she turned away, and began to walk. When she’d reached the very outskirts of the meeting she turned around and gave a bright smile, completely at odds with her emotions. “Sorry for disrupting you all. I love the Grey more than anything. You are my family, and I love you. You had better stay tightly knit, because I’m going to come back someday. I’ll always be at your side in times of danger. I love you all. I'm sorry for screwing up what you wanted, miss Circe. I believe you can be a close knit family at any hour, because I'm a member of it. I will always be Grey inside. Auntie? Ktulu? Apollo? Mesec?” She turned her head to all three of them in turn, and gave a soft, beautiful smile. “I’ll miss you most of all.” Casting her eyes at her renounced family, her expression turned to ice. Then she looked out at all those she had never been able to bond with on a personal level, and stood tall, powerful. Changed. Don't let them see the tears behind your eyes. Don't let them see the shattered pieces of your soul. Even if you let them look they'd never care enough to want to piece you back together. All that's left...is to pack up and move on, keep your shards of heart in a crystal jar and hope that somebody along the road will love you enough to want to save you from your hell. Don't let them see how badly this hurts you. “I swear on my Goddess as she looks down on us- when I return, and I will, I will be far stronger. Only then will I be able to wear the Grey name proudly. You will always be my home. I will always come back to you.” With that last, solemn vow, Hotaru turned and strode into the dark forest that surrounded the Grey, that made up the Foothills, that had been her home for a majority of her life. She didn’t let them see her break into a run, and she didn’t let the tears fall until she made it past the borders.