.svg/2000px-Google_Chrome_icon_(2011).svg.png){kind=icon}
- - - - - By my verdict JANUS is the winner. Janus receives +.5 VP and earns one point for the Grey Invaders. Janus -- post 1 (attack only) [Realism] + 1| Attack: Crowding/Intimidation + 1| Attack: Bite to Azale's left wing joint. [Prose] + 1| Emotion. + 1| Flow. + 1| Easy to Read. Azale -- post 1 [Realism] - 1| Dropped Attack: both of us pale warriors are not going to be scared. This is almost borderline PP, as you can't dictate how Janus is feeling, and it doesn't count as a response to her trying to be intimidating. - 1| Defense: Rearing into the air to avoid Janus' bite - there's no mention of where it hits. Her 'left side' is extremely vague. Did Janus get a mouthful of skin? Enough to draw blood, or just cause bruising? + 1| Attack: Flailing her hooves/wings at Janus's head. [Prose] - 1| Emotion: I can see where you've tried to recall events in her past, but it reads very dry. + 1| Prose. + 1| Flow. JANUS -- post 2 [Realism] + 1| Injury: Strike to the shoulder. 0| Attack:Charges into Azale - No mention of direction. I'm assuming if you were facing her, and struck with your left shoulder, it would be Azale's left side as well. [Prose] + 1| Emotion. + 1| Prose. + 1| Flow. Azale -- post 2 [Realism] 0| Injury: No mention of pain. - 1| Attack: If Janus was pushing Azale using her left shoulder, when Azale dropped to the ground, I don't think she would be able to reasonably hit Janus' right ear, without stating that she turned, or tried to make them face to face. [Prose] + 1| Emotion: I have seem enough blood on my quest, I do not care to see my own. The pain gives me yet another reason to fight on. + 1| Prose. + 1| Flow. JANUS [Bonus] + 1| Breed Comparison. [Injuries] None. [Creativity] Nothing of note. Comments: Nothing of note - I would suggest trying to emphasize your directions more when attacking :) Azale [Bonus] None. [Injuries] None. [Creativity] Nothing of note. Comments: Use your word count more! I think that would really help with the emotion in your posts. And don't be afraid to attack more than once, in a post! TOTAL Janus - 60 Azale- 52 |
image credit to Paulo Brandão
