She was distraught. She was broken. But the herbs she had found a bit earlier were definitely beginning to numb a little of the searing pain in her shoulder. She was staying close to Quil. She didn't want to be alone. She didn't want that winged creature to find her again. And, if that winged one did she didn't want to be left to her own will to protect herself with a very injured shoulder.

His wing was draped over her shoulder as he guided her mindless body. A place to rest. God. Can't it be right here? Can't she just lay down and rest? But no. They need to get closer to wherever it is that Smoke has gathered to attempt to begin her healing. He's being gentle. He's being careful. She knows it. He's afraid the wrong tone of voice will make her run. And, really, she doesn't know what the wrong tone of voice would make her do. Would she grab the dagger and attempt to use it as a horn - just like the mechanical one who had killed Rowan? Would she shuffle backwards and break down in tears? Would she simply high tail it the other direction until she had found Kaj, or Smoke, or maybe even Mirage?

That was when a gentle tug pulled her out of her thoughts of where her brain even was. His honey-like chords reaching her audit as she listens to his teasing words. It is his serious gaze that keeps her from breaking down completely. "I'm not meant to fight..." she choked out, her legs still moving as she limped forward. Her right side leaning ever so slightly against left in order to keep herself from falling over when her left leg decides it doesn't feel like bearing the weight necessary. She closes her eyes for a few seconds, moving only as she feels his frame move. And, as he traces a line across her nape he blows gently on her cheek. A breath is drawn in and then suddenly exhaled, as if the words he was going to say somehow got caught in his throat. Instinctively her orbs open. Golden sight falls on him as he pulls himself away, clearing his throat. He was going to say something, but the feeling of being pulled closer to his side stops her from questioning exactly what that is.

She feels his frame slow to a halt and she stops by rocking back onto her haunches so that she might bear the weight in a stronger area of her bodice. A wince of pain shudders through her as she places her left fore down completely before resting her weight on the other three legs. Her shoulder screaming in agony only to have it dull a bit more because of the herbs in her system. She can feel the consistent breathing of the little marmoset as she curls up in her mane before she glances up toward Quil with the vocalization of her name. He stumbles over a few words before reaching into her banner where Zarina is and snagging a pendant. Res's eyes widen. "What... Quil... I..." She says, confusion in her gaze as she peers between the young marmoset and the tall, protective stag before her. He gently allows Zarina to take the locket back as Res turns her head to watch as the marmoset opens it as if she was going to attach it around the mare's neck.

He speaks again. His voice torn. Obviously he was blaming himself for the state that she was in. Claiming that he should have been here. But he had not known. It was not his fault. He explained his absence. He explained how he left to get this pendant and how it was tied to another one. How if she was in trouble, anxious, in danger it would grow warm so that he knew she needed him. Again. He blamed himself. And again. Those feelings were radiating in her gut. Those feelings of betrayal for the stag who had given her a family. For the stag who had fought - and died - to try and protect the three of them. But how long had it been since she'd felt safe with someone else? How long had it been since someone she had just really begun to know caused her to scream out with his pain? How long had it been since she had been searching for this one stag - for Quil? Quil was starting to replace Ciro. It sickened her. But at the same time it healed her. Was it a betrayal? It sure as hell felt like one. But would Ciro really want her to be alone the rest of her life? He would want her safe. He would want her happy. Could he have allowed his soul to come back and tug her toward Quil for that exact purpose? To make sure that she actually had a chance to heal from all the terrors that had swum through her vision and broken her down. All the terrors that had stepped on her heart and broken the glass past the point that she believed it could be put back together?

"It's not your fault. You didn't know..." She whispered, after a few moments of silence. The struggle to understand evident in her orbs. The struggle to place her own emotions. Ciro would want to let you love again... Tears bored into her orbs as she let out a small sniffle. "Thank you... for getting me this..." she whispered, voice a little taut as she fought to keep herself from breaking down and sobbing with the image of Ciro, the twins, and Rowan all bleeding out before her. She had lost them all. They would all want her to be happy. They would all want her to be able to open up her heart to love again. Perhaps... perhaps Quil was the one she could allow herself to do it. "I... I love it, Quil..." she whispered. Her mind edging her closer and closer to the real sentence: I love you. But she couldn't quite say it. "I don't... I don't know what I'd do without you..."

You love him. Admit it.... She could hear Ciro in her head. His voice was sweet. It was understanding. But she was almost certain it was simply a side effect of the herbs she had taken for the pain. Her frame was trembling. Trembling from the anxiety of her emotions bubbling up and accepting it before her mind could even wrap itself around the answer. She loved him. Her mouth opened as she felt her breath get caught in her throat. "I... Quil... I lo-" but she couldn't finish it. A sob caught in her throat as the tears flooded her vision. She loved him. But her mind insisted it was a betrayal to everything Ciro and her had stood for. She shook her head violently, shifting her weight just enough to end up putting too much of her frame on top of her injured shoulder and the sob turned into a yelp of pain. She jumped back onto her other three legs and shot backwards a few steps. Shot backwards into a tree trunk only to realize that she had been the cause of the pain and nothing that was near her.

She looked up at him through broken, tear-blurred eyes, and spoke with a shattered voice. "How can you even want to be around someone like me... I'm so broken... so un... un-fixable..." Her head dropped down, eyes falling shut as she continued to have her chest and barrel heave in time to the sobs. She was broken... broken and useless...

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@[Quilyan]