It's all a haze. Every emotion. Every single memory. It's all combining into one. The herbs only blocking her mind even more. It's becoming a struggle to place where she even is inside all of this mess that is her mind - that is her reality. She can feel him studying her as she fumbles over her thoughts. His eyes taking in all the emotions that flicker straight across her orbs in confusion.

When she finally has managed to sort through enough of her thoughts that her voice can break into the still air she can hear his soft sigh. She can see his chest beginning to expand and compress in time with his breathing again. He doesn't fight her words. Her telling him that it wasn't his fault. But she can see that he doesn't believe them. "Quil... I would have fought anyways..." she struggled to explain. He hadn't seen or heard of her most recent loss. It was more than just Ciro tugging on her broken pieces. It was Rowan too. "I came back... from... from watching another dear one die. The only one who understood the fear of everything. And she died saving me... And I couldn't heal her. I couldn't help her. I fully believed this was when I needed to step up. I... it was my time to die as well... to make up for the shattered existence..." She explained, after the young marmoset had weaved the necklace around so that it sat locked upon her neck.

But, then she thanks him. She says she loves it. She decides to stick to the present that he had given her. He would not understand the strange pull to go and fight - to go and give herself up to be killed if that was what the universe so wanted. Fully believing that she would have at least died for a good cause. Anything for her. A promise off his lips before her brushes his maw up against the necklace, lipping at her neck where the chain rests and then massaging his way toward her poll. It calms her, for a few seconds, but as she continues to struggle with the torrent of emotions she cannot calm. She tries to say she loves him. But her mind stops her. Calling her a betrayer. Asking how dare she love someone else. And so she shifts her weight at the startled movement. Too much weight falling on her leg and shooting a searing pain up into her shoulder.

Tears fall. Her entire bodice bolting backwards into the tree as she blubbers over her own words. Words asking how someone could even dare to care enough about someone so hopelessly shattered. He says her name, and she forces herself to keep her gaze to the ground. She can hear his hooves as they cover the distance quickly. He knows she won't run from him. He knows the only reason she bolted was from some imaginary substance she had believed had caused the pain in her leg only to realize that it was herself inflicting the pain. His voice is not loud. It is not demanding. It is a whisper. It is a place of calm. And while her sobbing continues it does begin to slow down. Beautiful. Everything. Love who I am. Need to be around me... The thoughts circulate her cranium and meld together with past words Ciro had said. She chokes on her breath before she can even get a word out. The anxiety has officially placed her in a state of panic. In a place of fear. A place where she just wants to forget everything that had gone wrong.

Finally, she looked up and with a trembling jaw her voice came back out. "I'm not his Princess anymore..." her entire body shuddered, a massive sob getting caught in her throat as she looked up to the heavens. "My Knight isn't here..." She shook her head violently, letting out another tiny hiss of pain as she shook it too much and pulled on her gash, feeling a bit of the scabbing wound open and a bit more blood trail down the side. "He... he left me Quil..." she cried. The pain from seeing him with wolves ravaging his body taking her over the edge - turning her blame onto him. The blame that had once been nothing more than adoration for his bravery. He was gone. It was all his fault. "He left his Princess. He left her... And he didn't protect the twins..." She couldn't think straight. Between the pain that was pulling on every horrible memory in her mind, the desire to say that she loved him, and the torn emotions she was beginning to ramble on about nonsensical things that no longer even worked on a timeline. It was just... there. She shuffled a few inches closer, wanting to bury her face in his chest only feel the pain as she stepped forward and fall back into the tree, feeling as the dagger located in the knot of her tail stabbed into her hindquarters. She leaped forward and spun around, throwing the dagger from her tail in the jerking motion. And, with the clattering sound she recognized what had opened another wound before jumping to snag it back into her mouth. She wasn't safe. There was no such thing as safe anymore. "My Knight left me. He just... he left. He got himself killed. And now you're here. And I can't say it. I can't betray him. I just. God. Quil..." Her voice shattered as she looked up at him. The pain was evident in her eyes. "I just want to be someone's Princess again..." Her voice choked, breaking up the words and making them almost incoherent. "But I'm too broken to ever be that..."

Useless. Broken. Unlovable. Untouchable. Injured. She was the broken toy left on that back shelf that no one would want to touch. She wouldn't even want to touch it...

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