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11-12-2013, 09:39 PM
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Trust is something that is so very difficult to gain and so very easy to lose, and yet when one is faced with a situation in which one they love is near the brink, they will almost always choose trust over abandonment. Oh, how easy it would be to blame Phaedra for the invasion from the north, to tell her that a true friend would never have turned on us as they did, to turn from her in disappointment and hurt - but as easy as it would be to turn my own negativity onto my friend, it is easier to give the glittering fae the benefit of the doubt, so to speak. It is easier to allow her excuses, easier to believe her dismay. Is that what I have become these days? One who takes the easy way out? I refuse to believe it, but in my heart I fear it is true. But not in this. No, I trust Phae, and regardless of any enmity between our herdlands, I am sure of her friendship. Perhaps this is the love I am meant to find in life; after all, my bouts at finding the true love of a stallion have failed miserably. Perhaps it would be better if I simply accepted my female friends, kept would-be suitors at arm's length, and continued to work. But one thought of the smoldering look in Gaucho's eyes sends the thought scampering for the recesses of my mind. The physicality of our relationship is almost an addiction, though not one that has been satisfied of late. Is it duty or lack of desire that has kept us apart since Zenobia's conception? Either way, I am nervous that I will be forgotten, replaced with another youthful, captivating female. Gaucho is not sentimental, after all - it would be easy for him to simply allow primal instinct to take over with yet another femme, and then another, and then another. I am just a number, when all is said and done, aren't I? "A warrior princess kind of name," I admit with a smile, my friend's soft murmur drawing me out of my reverie. "As for Gaucho... well, I'm not sure where I stand with him. He's not exactly the father type. Or the mate type, for that matter." I sigh, then try out a joke: "Oh, how far I've fallen, hmm?" The fake smile drops from my lips with a wry twist, though the time for tears is behind me. I am not who I thought I was, and that is that. Besides, there are greater things to deal with at the present moment. Phaedra speaks of alliances, and I make a soft noise of pity. Skilled though she may be in spy work, I cannot imagine my dainty, flirty friend getting her hooves dirty in combat. "I don't blame you, Phae," I reassure her softly, again nudging her softly. "It's just... well, how am I to visit my best friend if our herds are at odds? You'd think they'd have a bit more decency than to send you off into battle, now, wouldn't you?" This joke succeeds, at least in its execution: my eyes dance lightly, though they remain soft. I want her to know that I am on her side. "Talk talk talk." @[Phaedra] |
| Sohalia Don't wanna leave this life knowing I barely tried... |
