I was nor taken aback or offended by his actions. Most beings restrain from me and push me away. The way that I am so affectionate and willing to reach out and touch must seem rude. I know I want no future with this Stallion. He's too good for me. I do wish though. Oh, how I wish, dream and long for never ending love. My actions aren't unusual toward the Stallion, simply ones that I repeat every day of this hell we call life.

I force myself to push the feelings away that start to creep up my throat. I plead Raven to let me handle this myself, and thankfully the feelings work their way back to the bottom of my cold heart, snuggle among the thousands of slips of paper that represent his words, and my memories. He feels the crisp, new one, and I feel him slightly smile, only to push it away, and lay, reading the old, shriveled, ripped and brown slips. I shake my dome, concentrating on what's outside of my bodice, not what's on the inside.

My face stays calm, for I have perfected the manner of not showing my feelings to others I wish not to. This Apache was different, yes. My connection with him and my knowing of him was weak, but then again, I felt as if I have known him for years. I simply wanted to get to know this gentlemen better, and maybe one day become closer. The look of pain in his orbs, and the look of confusion is what made my heart skip a beat. The tips of my harks getting hot, I forced a polite smile to play on my kissers, dismissing his actions with my kind ones.

[color=#9400D3]" Do not apologize. You may see the gesture a different way then I, darling Apache, but I was taught it was a friendly gesture. Nothing of... that means. "

She nodded to him. Letting him know that she could feel the feelings coming off him in waves. I simply let my smile deepen, and whipped around. As I walked, I saw he kept a ways away from me.

I sighed. Once again, one doesn't even wish to be close friends. My harks begin to flatten against my dome as I remember all the ones who I have tried so hard to become friends with, only to be pushed away. Coming to a halt, I turn my head to the left, the side he was walking beside me on. As a small tear rolls down my opposite cheek, I try to hide my sadness.

"Don't worry. I only wish to be friends..."

My voice trails off, as a soft patter on the soil indicates the tear that left a wet trail down my dainty dome is no long there. I itch my front right leg with the side of my cheek, forcing the wetness to ease. Oh, how weak and foolish I look. Crying over something that's in the past, letting my heart ache and skip whenever I think of it. Whenever I think of the ones who have abandoned me. Antheia, World's Edge, Diatrec, Raven, Tonka...
I flinch. he last and the first are the ones that bring the most pain. I feel the tears coming again. Inside I scream and yell and sob, but what I do on the outside is different.

As Raven sits back and watches, slightly chuckling, I shake myself. Attempting to clear all the thoughts and memories from my mind. Forcing the old cobwebs away, as they reach out, and blow away with the slight breeze. But, of course, the thing about webs, they always come back...

Another fake, but polite smile dancing on my sorrel kissers. Nothing could lift my spirits right now, all I can do is fake. Fake that I like being alive. Fake that I'm happy. Fake that I'm not weak. Fake that I don't want love. Fake that I don't want a close friend. Some might call this sadness, but I call this my near death. It's ripping my insides apart. Making me bleed internally. It's scoring through my mind and possessing me... it's... it's.

I lock my eyes with his. I know that in my deep pools plays depression, sadness. A surprising contrast to what laid there minutes ago. Once again I flinch, slowly turning my dome to the path ahead, and clearing my throat. I glance over to him, deciding to speak, and get my mind off things.

"Sir Apache, tell me more about yourself."

No, the tears weren't shed for him, not even because of him. My actions are due to the past, not the present. The regret that lingers in the air begins to suffocate me, as I battle to say normal, and not to show my feelings to this kind Stallion.




{ OOC: I apologize for the drama filled and long post <3 Ahahh! It wasn't horrible! <33333 }