"Where brilliance is good and madness is better..."
Helovia Info
Helovia opened in February 2012! We are an active fantasy equine RPG
Where once the world narrowed into naught but gray dust and desolation, the gods called for life. Wielding the elements of fire and light, dark and wind, earth and water, spark and time, they have created Helovia. The realm is set within the mythical globe of Loorien, a planet rich with all variety of creatures and blessed with all manner of magic. Originally populated by nomadic, tribal characters, they've since grown into massive empires saturated with culture and history. Separated into four distinct segments of Helovia, called "The Regions," each band of horse strong enough and capable enough, took up the power and responsibility of leadership. Unicorns, old, wise and mysterious, took to the north, hidden in forests of mists and shadows and rarely making themselves known beyond their cliffs of the World's Edge. Equines, vast, organized and militaristic, split into two, one group went north to the Windtossed Foothills and the other group went south to the Dragon's Throat. Pegasus remained nomadic, making their homes in various parts of The Wilds in a migratory manner. For many generations, the land was peaceful and calm, but peace was never the way of the gods. With a clash of argument, war and bloodshed massacred Helovia, and in the aftermath, the realm was eerily quiet. Now, as newcomers sweep into this land, they are met with the lingering bitterness of the gods and the struggle to reclaim what was lost. Nothing remains safe or certain while sorcerers and soldiers alike brood and bide their time for revenge, honor and glory.
Site Wide Plots
Kaos :: The Beginning of the End ☼ - 6/2017 - Kaos placed Helovia in a time-bubble for a short period of time, but the Helovian gods are fighting back. But Kaos is powerful- far more powerful than anyone thought. This may be the beginning of the end of Helovia as we know it.
Kisamoa :: A New Kind of Kaos ☼ - 3/2017 - Kisamoa asks Helovians to help him restore the Spectral Marsh. Which side will you choose?
Invasions :: All Out War ☼ - 5/2/16 - New layout and the brand new invasion rules are up! Thank you for your patience and we look forward to getting started with this new adventure.
The Rift :: Gods Do Die ☼ - 8/2015 - Helovia Gods are saving the Rift from corrupt gods! Can Helovians band together against these foreign deities?
The Literal Ship ☼ - 2/8/15 - Oh no! You have to pair up for Valentine's day!
Sky Island :: Murder ☼ - 10/25/14 - Vesta has been found dead on the island, and the gods have called to you to solve the murder!
Sky Island :: Peace ☼ - 7/7/14 - An island has appeared in the sky! Clouds carry Helovians from the Veins to the sky.
Restoration :: We Welcome the Dawn ☼ - 9/21/13 - The sun has finally risen on this day, giving the land new light, but the Time God and the Sun God have yet to be seen.
Endless Night :: Broken Magic Plot ☼ - 8/30/13 - The earth god has returned and is walking across Helovia to heal the land. Every area can now be considered lush and prosperous, but the sun has still not risen.
☼ - 7/19/13 - The moon has risen in the sky, heralding the return of the Goddess of the moon. Lamp trees which light the paths have grown brighter, moon flowers which grow in dark places have begun to grow and prosper and the world is brighter, filled with a new hope.
Endless Night :: Dead Magic Plot ☼ - 6/22/13 - The gods of Helovia, in order to protect the world, have disappeared into the rift, leaving the world sunless, moonless and magic-less in their absence. Only the herdlands have a source of light, but lamp-trees with glowing leaves and branches sporadically line the popular roads and paths from place to place.
Doppleganger Plot ☼ - 6/20/13 - The God of Time is still struggling to close the rift though which the dopplegangers have come. He has requested that his brothers and sister assist in closing this hole, but without knowing why it opened, the task is proving difficult. Magic still remains faulty and hard to control, but the herdlands continue to be places of refuge for those who are fortunate enough to call these lands home.
ORANGEMOON cools off the lands with a a viscious force. Colder than normal, a sign of things to come during Frostfall, Helovia is bathed in a rich tropical lushness - albiet a cold one. The coastlines of the Dragon's Throat are pelted constantly by tidal waves, and the desert climate is humid but chilly. Ice begins to form early in the Aurora Basin leaving the winding trails slick and dangerous. The mists of the World's Edge coat everything in a glistening crystalline shine which encourages mould to grow everywhere. The Spectral Marsh is the only area which remains fertile, blissfully temperature and lush.
Cotm
Character of the Month for
June, 2017
WEAVER, Corporal of the Aurora Basin, is a relatively recent addition to Helovia and has taken it by storm. Branded with the seal of Death on her chest, intrigue and interest follow both her past and present. Though she is assuredly beautiful, her sometimes sharp personality reveals that there is more to this uni-peg hybrid than meets the eye. Proving herself able on the battlefield in the Basin’s warrior ranks, we can’t wait to see her test her mettle against the looming Kaos happenings! Congratulations!
Helovia RPG was created by Tamme and Blu and coded by Tamme also known as Schwartze. All coding, palettes and imagery are copyrighted to the website and are not for use outside of Helovia. Thank you to our ServerMaster for hosting Helovia. A special thanks goes to Neo for all of her coding help and fixing Tamme's errors, Boom, for her loyal service and creation of the Time God, and to Ali for her consistent contributions and dedication.
Who would have ever predicted that after such a days events she would end up wanting a stallion to help her. Not that she was to say it outloud as her pride couldn't bear the thought of not being able to do things on her own anymore. For many years she had been the only one who could manage to care for herself, since her mother died she had not taken to anyone not physically being able to stand the thought of getting close to someone again. If she did what was to stop things from going horribly wrong again and finding herself alone again. Her reasoning seemed solid enough considering her life of hell she had managed to live through, but it was her heart that seemed to be betraying her. It craved to love someone, to care for someone, to just live normally once again without having to become isolated.
Since having left the other white stallion behind she found herself welcoming the company of a different stallion who seemed to be kind and friendly. After all he had appeared during her rather awkward yet confusing talk with Arrane just before he started acting all strange and nervous. It was one of the most bizarre things that she had ever encountered and it did not sit well with her already tense nerves and skittish tendencies around the opposing sex. She literally felt like curling into a ball and just hiding from the world to save herself anymore embarrassment or humiliation. Sighing deeply she allowed her blue orbs to close momentarily before opening them to stare down at her sorry looking reflection in the water in which she stood. After such a shock of things previously she had nearly collapsed so she had excused herself to get a drink out of a nearby stream hoping to feel a little bit better. The cold water had done little to calm her nerves but at least it was refreshing and gave her something in her stomach for the time being.
Shaking her head as her strides carried her over to the bank she stopped under the shade of one of the few trees welcoming the shade upon her back. The last time she had seen the black stud he had been making sure that Arrane had left them before they wandered off in the opposite direction. It was only now that she realized she did not even know his name! Making a mental note to ask him when he should return from wherever he had went she stood quietly wondering what was going to happen now. The darkened stallion had not caused her usual panicky response but had somehow managed to let her see him as someone who was not a threat. She almost felt a small sense of security around him and even the thoughts drew the weird feeling of butterflies into her gut. Maybe she was just starting to lose it completely she thought with a half smirk, after everything that had happened recently she doubted if it really surprised her to think in such a way. Flicking her tail over her flank to clear away the tiny black pests she raised her cranium wondering where the stallion had disappeared to now.
So this post fought me tooth and nail all the way, and I apologize if it's blah. But it is here, and perhaps everything will get easier once I get back into it. Sorry for the wait!
TORLEIK
Death follows into your watery grave
Had he known her thoughts, Torleik would have understood her incapability of admitting to not being able to do things on one's own. Things he could not do at all - like work with metal as Ulrik did - he had no qualms saying he was deficient; but subsisting, being strong, functioning? Those things he would not admit he struggled with daily, moment to moment, that he barely kept his head above the pain that threatened to drown him from the loss of his home and his family.
Perhaps he would have been reticent to help her as much if he had been aware of how deeply Brisa wanted to love, but most likely not. He understood the power of emotions and wants such as that and how they never really died in someone no matter what they had been through - even if they claimed otherwise. After ensuring that the white stallion would not follow, Torleik followed Brisa at a respectable distance, allowing her to gather herself and her thoughts. The white mare moved into the water and he took a slightly different direction.
Torleik did not stray far, keeping her in his sights. He wondered many things. How had she come to be here? Who was that stupid stallion? Why had his presence agitated her so greatly? Was it something from her past, or simply something he said? Was Brisa normally easily agitated? Leaning down, eyes still locked on the white mare, he snuffed at and ate a small mouthful of grass. His blue eyes could not refrain from darting to her pristine backside when she flicked her tail, and his body warmed upon remembrance of her touch to his shoulder.
Was he really so lonely that such a meeting of their flesh was rendering him this...adolescent? Or was her rump simply that appealing? Stop, he ordered himself and pulled his eyes to the ground until he felt he had proper control over his ridiculous self. Torleik glanced up once more against his better judgement and noticed she seemed to be looking for him. Suppose it's time to return. Lifting his head, he made his way to her and stooped for a quick drink.
"How are you feeling?" he inquired of Brisa, thinking she looked calmer and less anxious. That was good.
10-28-2013, 10:09 PM (This post was last modified: 10-28-2013, 10:09 PM by Brisa.)
Weary eyes cast across the landscape finding nothing more than a sea of green with the odd flash of colour. Surely the stallion could not have gone far she thought silently re-scanning her field of sight once more before her eyes finally caught the black figure moving in her direction. How had this scenario come about in the first place, was it some weird twist of fate that had brought this stallion into her life? The thought was amusing as she had learned through experience that there was no such thing as a destiny or whatever others called it, life was too cruel to give such hope. Whether she chose to believe it or not her heart still held on to the possibility that there was more to this thing called life. No matter how many times it was shattered it still carried a single thread of hope, wishing for a better life.
Countless nights had passed since the death of her friend and with them she was always awake to see the new dawn begin all over again. Sleep seemed to evade her just like the possibility of true happiness, only the lack of sleep was clearly catching up with her. To tired to care what would come of their encounter she remained still as she took the chance to study the stallion in more detail before she got caught oogling him later on as that would just seem creepy. This actually might be the first time that she had actually purposefully watched a stud without the thought that she was going to die, huh go figure it was when she was about as lively as a tortoise. Her orbs took in the fine definition of each and every muscle, each curve, each minute scar. His kindness had already been proven when he had found her earlier but what was it that allowed her to remain calm around him, maybe she would never know.
As his vocals reached her auds she felt no different than she had the first time he had spoken, no panic, no anxiety.. it was rather baffling. Offering a weak smile she turned to face him, curiosity brimming the edges of her being as the questions jumped to mind. "A little better now I think, thank you." She replied gently wary of how her voice would sound. She had grown used to hearing her own silent thoughts but her voice was not one that she was so familiar with, it was as if she had never found her voice until now. "I'm sorry about earlier, I want to thank you but it appears I missed your name. You can call me Brisa."
Her eyes rose for a moment to catch his before she quickly dropped them again feeling awkward for some reason or maybe embarrassed for her earlier mishap? Geeze she really needed to work on her social skills, or at least her ability to talk to others without making a fool of herself. Some impression she made, most probably believed her to be on the verge of crazy.
TAGS: @[Torleik]
MUSE: Good
NOTES: Nothing wrong with your post :) I understand life can be crazy at times, mine is practically chaos half the time haha
She passively asked for his name and offered hers - which he already knew from Arrane. "My name is Torleik," he replied with a small smile, "and you needn't thank me. I only did what I thought was best." The dark stallion cocked his head to the side, curious, and studied Brisa for a moment. "That other male...he seemed to be causing you an undue amount of anxiety. May I ask why?" Torleik gently probed.
Though the weather was decidedly warm, a cool breeze had picked up and his eyes settled on the undulating sea of greens, purples, blues and pinks, his mind wandering. What was it like for the tiny creatures who saw these high-grassed fields as dizzying peaks to be climbed? The small mice, who were no bigger than half a hoof? What about the insects who alighted on the flowers and gained their sustenance through drinking of the beautifully clothed plants' nectar? Or of the tiny hummingbird whose wings beat so fast his eyes could not keep up?
Torleik's gaze shifted to the clear azure sky and his wonder expanded. What of the birds in the sky? Did they find being on the ground a dull, slow experience? For a short time his thoughts slid to those horses that were gifted wings, the pegasi. They could exist in both air and sky - what was that like? A deep frown formed on his face as he mulled over this question, one he had ruminated on many times before. With a quiet sigh, Torleik tucked his thoughts away for another time and looked at Brisa once more, brows furrowing. "You look very tired..." he said softly. "Do you need somewhere to rest?" This mare needed...something. The warrior could not quite place what it was that would make her better, but he hoped he could at least fix some of the broken pieces.
He knew what it was to hurt, to ache so deep you felt like no one could ever experience a pain so intense. It was a horribly isolating experience and this female seemed too kind, too gentle to need to go through that. His bearded face patiently awaited her words in return, ready to listen and act if need be.
11-01-2013, 11:06 PM (This post was last modified: 11-01-2013, 11:07 PM by Brisa.)
Relieved to finally feel somewhat on even ground with the stallion standing beside her the white fae tried to relax further hoping to ease some of her overall tension her muscles stored. At least she managed to know the black studs name, she should have found that out in the beginning but thanks to her one track mind at the time she had been way too focused on dealing with the younger male. Their conversation had been anything but pleasant and all to awkward for her liking. Ok, she could deal with meeting someone for the first time but when they started acting all strangely choked up and suspicious that's where she needed to draw the line. Her savior was nothing like that thankfully, and she had immediately taken a liking to him feeling rather comfortable being in his company.
As Torleik asked what was up with her encounter with Arrane it took a couple moments to gather her thoughts on the whole situation considering it did not really make all that much sense to her either. " I had never met him before but for some reason he started acting as if he knew me. I'm not sure what his problem was but just the way he was acting reminded me of... of well lets say some rather unpleasant memories." The memories were rather hard to forget and made her shiver involuntarily as the thoughts crossed before her. Never before had she actually talked to anyone about her past fearing that they would judge her, yet she knew that she would have to talk about it sooner than later if she was to ever get over the trauma. If anyone would even care to listen, that was.
The unfamiliar comfort of her new friend seemed to be helping to keep her emotions under control for once, before all this she would never have considered herself emotional. She guessed that one could only take so much loss and pain before it gradually wore away even the strongest minds barriers. How she longed to find someone who could be there for her, to hold her when things were tough and love her when no one else did. Just knowing that somebody loved her and cared about her would be enough to make her happy for the rest of her life. If she could love someone and just express a fraction of what was bottled up inside her, maybe she would finally be able to move on and leave her horror story behind her. Having children had never really been on her mind until she had experienced losing a child that had been conceived out of lust and rape. As if anyone would actually want her, who was she kidding.
Torleik waited patiently the entire time it took for her to answer his questions and for that she was grateful, Not many had allowed her the courtesy of listening to her words. "Do you need somewhere to rest?" Apparently she must look as bad as she felt, she was indeed exhausted having not slept well in months or maybe longer, she couldn't exactly remember. "I doubt I would be able to rest that much but having somewhere safe isn't exactly something I'm used to so you never know." Chuckling softly she tried to add some humor into her words despite the truth that they told. "Do you mind if we talk for a little bit though? It's kinda nice to be able to talk for once, but please don't let me keep you from anything you need to do. If you would rather leave I would understand." Her voice swayed slightly not wanting to actually say she wanted him to stay with her for awhile. This was the first real connection she had felt between someone in a very long time, one that she hoped would not go away. Maybe it was selfish to wish something like that but it was what her shattered heart wanted, it wanted something to feel alright again.
TAGS: @[Torleik]
MUSE: Good
NOTES: I think she may be developing a crush xd
He didn’t mind that she’d waited so long to learn him name. Torleik could tell she was highly preoccupied with some sort of anxiety and he wasn’t going to hold her to typical social convention in light of that knowledge. Though, perhaps he would have felt mildly uncomfortable knowing she thought of him as her savior. He didn’t consider himself a savior of anything; he was just trying to help. Listening quietly as Brisa explained her version of events, Torleik frowned. The other stallion must have truly thought Brisa was someone he knew….or he was incredibly high on some substance. The latter option didn’t seem to quite fit the situation, even though it would explain why this Arrane character couldn’t speak properly in coherent sentences. Brisa admitted his actions reminded her of unpleasant memories and he watched a shudder go through her form. This displeased him, and Torleik gently bumped her shoulder again with his muzzle. “Let’s not dwell on those,” he suggested with authority. “They are in the past, and they can do nothing to harm you now. I promise.”
To keep her mind occupied, he probed her with other questions concerning her health and state of being, especially that of sleep. She looked utterly worn out; how long had it been since she last slept at all? His brows furrowed when Brisa gave him a far too easy out if he wanted to leave, and he cocked his head to the side. “I would be horribly selfish to simply abandon you here,” Torleik replied, wondering what sort of thoughts were going through her mind. If he could guess, he assumed she had a devastatingly low sense of self-esteem, but for what reasons, he had utterly no inkling. “I would offer to bring you to the Basin, but I fear it is rather…exclusive in those it lets in,” he said with some amount of disdain. Torleik held no quarrel with the hornless, only those who bore wings. “Where is your home?” he asked curiously, not seeking to get information out of her for his own gain, but merely to make conversation. “Perhaps we could go there, and you could rest. Or anywhere in between that you would be comfortable.”
[[OOC: Aww. I don't want to break her heart :( I have Torleik ultimately planned for someone else, but I'm up for interesting things until then. But I would hate myself for hurting Brisa D:]]
11-19-2013, 10:50 PM (This post was last modified: 11-19-2013, 10:53 PM by Brisa.)
Once her mind was in motion it was very hard to forget about such thoughts simply by choice. Nothing in her past had been by her choice making it all the harder to come to terms with, never mind forget it. Lately every time she closed her eyes the same vivid memories came crashing back to her haunting her night and day, nothing seemed to quell the torture. It was the truth that she was completely exhausted but the thought of submitting herself into the hands of her nightmares seemed far worse than just staying awake catching the odd couple of minutes of sleep when she could. Lost in her own world for a minute the gentle touch against her shoulder surprised her yet her body ceased to react likely out of weariness. Turning her head she caught the encouraging words directed to her by her new friend. “They are in the past, and they can do nothing to harm you now. I promise.”
A soft sigh escaped her lips as the words registered, sadly the stallion was mistaken. Her problems would not just go away now that some time had passed since their occurance, her threats were all to real for that to happen. "I wish it was that simple." She said quietly feeling the truth holding her tightly as if shackles tied her down. Arrane had reminded her of the never ending threat of reliving her past, if Torleik had not appeared when he had she feared it would have. Her strength was no opposition to a stallion with set intentions, most easily outweighed her by at least a couple hundred pounds with her body scoring. Fighting was literally useless to her as well considering she really had no idea how to fight effectively nor did she really have the inclination to learn. Reckless behaviour that caused others pain in her mind had no place in this world.
Listening silently as Torleik once again spoke she welcomed the conversation as it happened so uncommonly in her life. The Basin was not a place that she had heard of so far but it sounded interesting, maybe just for the reason of knowing so little or the fact that it sounded so exclusive. It wasn't a wonder that she wouldn't be accepted onto its grounds even if she did wish to go. "My home is within the Edge wherever that is from here. I would prefer to not return there just yet though, there is still much on my mind and they tend to ask too many questions. I don't have anyone to talk to there.." Few friends had emerged within her time here in Helovia but none really seemed to want to get to know her enough to allow her to trust in them. Her heart was just too damaged maybe it was best that she remained alone.
TAGS: @[Torleik]
MUSE: Good
NOTES: Sorry for late reply, and no worries she is really just looking for friends as she doesn't really know how to let others in. I do want her to find someone who can love her and show her what it means to be loved, a foal would help her to put things behind her. Its just a matter of finding that someone XD
And 15 years later. It felt good to write this, so I finally got you a post :) Sorry it's taken so long. :-/
TORLEIK
Death follows into your watery grave
The dark stallion would have understood her predicament had he known it. To experience memories over and over, unbidden and uncontrollable every time his eyes slid closed or he slipped into slumber was something he was not yet done struggling with in his own life. Eventually the exhaustion would take over and there would be a single night of deep, dead-to-the-world sleep, but that would energize his body just enough to keep going for a few more days of hell – and the cycle would start over again. Torleik understood Brisa’s hell all too well and so he tried to comfort her, sensing that they shared something though few words were truly exchanged, and even less truth was shared between them.
His words were meant to help the white mare along to a realization that he had come to some months ago, the only reason he was able to sleep: Torleik had to admit to himself that memories were just that. At worst they were vivid mental recollections of horrific pain. At best they were vague, blurry and incoherent stressors. But either way, all they could do was sap his emotional reserve and his energy – they could never truly harm him. Brisa argued, subtly and politely, against the simplicity of his statement and Torleik didn’t blame her. He had resisted at first as well. “But it is,” he urged. “Memories are only pictures in your head. They can only drum up past hurt, they cannot cause present, fresh wounds. You will only ever pick at the scabs of old ones and watch the blood trickle out.”
Their talk shifted and he allowed it, knowing that he would not want others to press him for information about himself he did not want to share. He would show Brisa the same respect. The Edge… he thought, knowing he had been there before and the situation had not gone well. The dual-horned stallion frowned a little. He could likely walk her to the borders, but perhaps it would be best if he did not go in very far; not if all equines were as judgemental as the bitch he’d encountered the sands – the two of them, really: that loudmouthed one and the one with the dagger in her tail. “Questions are irksome sometimes, aren’t they?” the dark male mused. “They are often fettered with good intentions that only seem to make the inquiries even more of a prison. But questions are the only way we learn…” he finished with a wry smile. “If you are uncomfortable being asked questions, you may ask me some if you want. I am capable of handling my unpleasant demons well-enough, nowadays.”
12-23-2013, 12:51 AM (This post was last modified: 01-20-2014, 12:39 AM by Brisa.)
The truth is what the black stud spoke, this she knew as much from conclusions that her own mind had come to a long time ago. It was believing the truth that made things difficult for her. Life was not full of rainbows and sunshine but indeed did have its ups and downs but when you have only experienced the downs of it all. For the longest time the good days were those where she could hide in peace and nurse her many wounds from the previous day. What more could she ever really hope for, back then it was those days she wished more of. “Memories are only pictures in your head. They can only drum up past hurt, they cannot cause present, fresh wounds. You will only ever pick at the scabs of old ones and watch the blood trickle out.” How could she not take her past into the present? Her everyday she longed for what she had lost but not realized she wanted at the time. It was all just so confusing.
"It is hard to not take the past into account when everyday I cannot bear the thought of one more day alone. Each passing season is a painful reminder of what was taken." She managed softly her eyes once again falling to the ground. She would give anything to be able to forget what had happened but twice a year without fail things brought the memories crashing back like it was now with the fall weather. Damn these stupid hormonal changes that screwed with her mind, males got off lucky. All of this was more than she had ever divulged to anyone but it felt good being able to talk for once. Granted poor Torleik was probably wanting to run for the hills by now but he was kind enough to tolerate her muddled confused words without complaint.
It was a surprise when the stag offered her the opportunity to ask something of himself. While she didn't mind answering questions she found it difficult to think when her emotions started interfering. With the ability to think of some questions it might be easier to clear her thoughts into sortable piles, but what could she ask that wouldn't sound weird? While her body craved release she tried to push those thoughts away as that would definitely come across a creepy. She was rather enjoying their conversation, the last thing she wanted to do was make things awkward. A soft sigh escaped her lips frustrated by the entire situation being complicated by the stupid season. It definitely did not help that she was starting to like her new friend who was not all that bad on the eyes.
Questions right! Refocusing quickly she tried not stop her mind from wandering too far. Torleik spoke of his own demons, what exactly did he mean by that? Everyone had their own skeletons but she was having a hard time believing her kind hearted friend had much to be ashamed of. " How is it that you deal with past memories or as you call them your demons? You make it sound easy." She finally managed to ask lifting her eyes back to study his face again. Also how was it that he seemed to understand what she was dealing with when no one else had ever seemed to? "I don't mind the questions either, its just sometimes hard to put into words an answer that makes any sense."
Most of the answers could be easier shown by the images within her mind but to draw words from them became almost like trying to melt concrete at times. She couldn't explain why she felt so much sorrow over losing the one baby she had managed to conceive through the brutality of other stallions. It was easier to make sense of things that she actually had an answer to in the first place. There was much of herself that she did not know, just look at her now. Never in her wildest dreams did she ever picture herself willingly being in the presence of a stallion and actually enjoying it. One could never know what they were truly capable of until it happened.
TAGS: @[Torleik]
MUSE: Good
NOTES: <3 No worries at all. I also have tons of brisa muse lately haha
Torleik’s bearded expression fell at Brisa’s words, the pain in what she spoke reflecting clearly in his glacial orbs. He, too, knew loss. He knew what it was to wish to die every day simply because continuing to live was a reminder of who was no longer with him. The guilt that weighed upon him for living too much to bear, the thought of the effort it took to make it from dawn to dusk one more time too much to fathom. It hurt him to know someone as gentle as this felt such pain. Coming alongside the pristinely white mare, Torleik touched his muzzle to her cheek softly. “Taken?” he asked quietly, deep voice reverberating through both of their bodies where they touched. He wished to say more, but Torleik knew delving into hurts such as these needed a careful touch. He had not wanted anyone barreling in with even well-intentioned inquiries, and he was well aware that she may reject his probing and choose to say no more. If so, the stallion would accept that. Her space was to be respected.
Being this close to her made him cogently aware of her scent and what it called for him to do. That made…proximity more difficult, tempting as the lure of her pheromones were and the larger male shifted somewhat on his hindquarters in response to feeling his loins stir in reactionary response. That Brisa had no control over when she came into this…phase…of her being was something he had learned long ago, so part of him felt for her. Being male, of course he wished to mate with any pretty, healthy young thing at all times, but it was almost easier that way, to feel it always and thus learn to block it out, learn to live with it, find other outlets. To not have that and suddenly be inundated with need… He had to suppress a dark snort as he found black humor in the thought that such an existence might turn him into a rapist. Could he honestly live like that? Could he control himself? Females were strong creatures in many subtle ways, the Viking mused thoughtfully.
She sighed and he cocked his head slightly to the side, looking at her with patience and curiosity. What was she thinking? Was it sad? Her soft voice broke the silence finally, asking him how he dealt with his demons. “Easy? No,” he said quickly, though not harshly. “My demons still find weak moments to torment me, as I suspect they always will. For a long while I didn’t deal with them; I let them control me. I wandered for months, alone, without any real equine contact, exhausted, starving. Many times I wished to simply put myself to the ground and never rise again.” Torleik smiled grimly, trying not to delve too deeply into the sadness he still felt for his past. “I had no one. No home. No family. Nothing to live for – or so it seemed. But one night, looking up at the full moon high in the star-studded, velvet sky, I realized that if I gave up, all of my loss would be for naught. I would be shaming my family, telling them their sacrifices had meant nothing, their love and hard work were not enough to sustain a life beyond their passing, and I realized I could not spit in the face of my family that way. So I made a choice to live. It is still a…meager living, even now. I have no family of my own, few friends, no comfortable place to call home, but I am alive, and I will continue to be until such time as I can no longer manage it through sheer power of will.” The warrior ceased his soliloquy, hoping that perhaps it explained to Brisa the journey he had been through, and still traversed even now.
Nodding, he gazed around, pensively silent for some time. “Words, useful as they are to communicate to others, are fairly crude tools to express anything,” he spoke. So many equines spent so much of their life filling it with words and useless, idle chatter when they would do better to be silent and listen or feel or see. This was why Torleik always tried to speak his words once they had been measured, or speak little unless spoken too, that his ramblings would not take up more air and precious seconds than he deserved to steal from the universe.
As she stood there silently beside the beautiful creature she listened to the words spoken taking each one as they came to form sentences and images within her mind. Her relatively few conversations with the inhabitants of Helovia thus far were rather short and random never really having much meaning or thought put into them. It was more her trying to become what one would consider normal under the so called social stigma. In a way she hoped that maybe one of them might help draw her out of her isolation and make her want to be around others again. While the need was there the thoughts of the mind tended to make her lean to the side of loneliness majority of the time. It was difficult to make her mind see that not everyone was out to kill her, with other mares it tended to be easier than it was with another of the opposing sex, yet here she was doing exactly that. Steps had been taken and with it some results had come out of her efforts now it was just a matter of not letting herself relapse back into such a worthless state.
The tale unfolding from the depths of Torleik's memory mirrored eerily similar to what she had felt throughout the first number of years since her family had been killed. Granted it was with much different circumstances but the emotions felt matched eye for eye, loneliness, despair, misery... the list could go on and on but when you broke it down the same prevailed. Remaining silent for a matter of moments as the lyrics ceased she tried to get her thoughts together so that maybe her next attempt at speech would not sound like a total fail. The gentle touch upon her cheek sent a shiver through her body yet a smile touched her lips. It was not a feeling of fear but rather one that made her remember what it was like to be happy.
Returning the gesture she felt that she should at least explain things a little further to at least let some questions be put to rest of the many that were likely left unspoken. " I understand what its like to have nothing." Pausing briefly in slight hesitance to bring back the ones she had lost she finally continued in a soft tone. " When I was young my family was slaughtered but somehow I was spared. With nobody to turn to I spent much of the next year and a half in isolation not knowing where or what to turn to. The following spring was when the attacks started... I never knew what they were going to do to me but nothing I did could stop them. The more I tried to fight the worse things became.. they were to strong." Closing her eyes she took a couple settling breaths concentrating on staying out of the emotional turmoil frothing just beneath the surface.
" Only once did the effect of such encounters stick. About four or five months into the pregnancy yet another encounter left me nearly dead to fend for myself. My body couldn't handle such trauma and the pregnancy all at once..." Tears misted her eyes as her words trailed off leaving the rest of the obvious ending without spoken words. Seeking some form of connection she absently turned her head to rest it gently against the muscular haven of the studs neck. Keeping her eyes shut to attempt to ward off the threatening tears she tried to calm her mind and lull it back into its previously dormant state. A minute or so passed before she felt the feeling subside as another slipped into place. The thick scent was impossible to ignore with their close proximity but instead of repulsing her it had quite the opposite effect making her desire what she normally tried to avoid. The revelation of the painful memories haunting her in a way allowed her to find a small sense of closure or at least acceptance that it was behind her now. Who would have thought that something of such grief could also bring the faintest amount of peace.
TAGS: @Torleik
MUSE: Good
NOTES: So glad you are back XD
The pristinely white mare returned his gentle touch after a brief shiver, and Torleik hoped that his kindness was helping. He did not wish for her to ache in loneliness as he had, and still did. Brisa began to speak, and he listened quietly, raptly, the ability to quietly absorb a tale a skill that had been instilled in him from a young age. His people would spend their free time around warm hearths, drinking, swapping tales of the gods, great mythical warriors, and glorious deeds they themselves had accomplished. Hearing a story was something he hadn’t had the chance to experience in some time, and he relished the ability to simply listen and drink in what was being told.
The mare’s tale was sad and overflowing with pain, and his heart went out to her. To have your family slaughtered, your body treated as a vessel for pleasure, your pain irrelevant to those who used you…Torleik could only imagine what sort of lasting vestiges of trauma those acts caused to linger in Brisa’s body and mind. Curling his head around hers to comfortingly rub her neck with his muzzle as she reached out to touch him, he waited patiently while she recovered. What could he say that would make that better? Nothing. Words would only ring hollow in this moment, trying to put the past, feelings, pain, loss, into tangible, audible sounds…. With no speech to distract him, her skin pressed against his nose, her warmth on him, Torleik found it nigh impossible to ignore that Brisa’s body was begging him for something he wasn’t sure he could – or even should give, especially considering their topic of conversation.
Would he seem insensitive? The dual-horned demon would hate himself if he did anything to make Brisa think he was like the males she had encountered before. He did not want her for what she could give to him, and he truly desired to help her.
But her scent was driving him mad, impossible to ignore, and the longer he stayed like this the harder it would be to simply walk away. Would it be so bad? They were both lonely. Could he? Brisa was not the only one with sour memories of such couplings, and a wave of deep guilt came crashing over his pathetically built palisade walls; there to keep others out, but never able to stop the liquidity of the oceanic emotions held inside. He did not deserve such a thing, such a moment here, from this woman. Not when he was guilty of what had harmed her.
Still, a moment of weakness gripped him and Torleik lightly lipped at her neck, shifting his back half in an attempt to alleviate some of the mounting tension in his body. They were both cracked, but cracks were not always weakness. Cracks caught thing, were edges to stand on, places to firmly hold to. Life was lived in the cracks. Perhaps this was understood between them. Perhaps just one moment would be allowed. Perhaps it could heal them both – or at least begin the process.
"talk talk talk" 'Mental talking' Thoughts
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OOC: I am so painfully slow. -cries- lol. Did the awkwardness of this fully come through? Because so much awk.
When nothing had been able to comfort the mare so many times before in her grief somehow the black stallion beside her served to stretch a band-aid across her gaping wound dulling the pain. As her tears dried up she found herself consciously aware of where she found herself, curled into the stud's neck. It felt weird in a way to have someone touch her yet not hurt her, to hold her but not force her to stay. The page had turned revealing a blank page before her where the pain of the past didn't threaten to destroy her by willingly staying close to another. His touch was comforting and she felt no desire to pull away, no urge to run or to fight.
Taking a small breath she found her gut flip and contract as pheromones assaulted her senses both her own and the potency of the male beside her. What was this...this feeling? Was it desire, need?? Confusion at the situation sent her mind twirling at the possibilities. Why would she want something that had only served as pain in the past? Could she possibly go through with this, let it happen knowing how every other had ended? Another breath brought more of the intoxication she had not realized was there prior to this moment. Closing her eyes for a moment to try and piece together what was happening to her she came to the rather shocking realization that she was not opposed to the idea of being mounted.
Feeling her heart beat increase she let her eyes open only to feel Torleik's muscles tense behind her and shift slightly away. Apparently things were not only doing things to her but to him as well. Lifting her head her lips found the locks of hair adorning his neck as she lipped at them gently letting herself get lost in his masculine scent. Straightening her posture as tension began to creep into her frame bringing with it an intense burn deep in the pit of her stomach. Flicking her tail around against her sides she fought with the primal urge within her. Shifting herself forward slightly she felt her hind legs come under herself. Was she really going to allow this? If she didn't there was a good chance she would hate herself tomorrow. No this is what she needed, a fresh start and one where she might be able to see light.
Brisa speaks
TAGS: @[Torleik]
NOTES: No worries ^^ All made sense, hopefully mine does XD
It hurt him to know that she cried, to know what she cried about. Torleik held her and hoped that he might be of some comfort even if that comfort was minimal and quickly forgotten. He tried to make sure he was not pressuring her, that his actions were only responses to hers, his presence remaining because she wished it to be so. But now…things were starting to change. Lines were blurring. The acceptable margin of action was becoming fuzzy.
Torleik’s eyes slid half-closed and he inhaled slowly as he felt Brisa lip at his neck, play with his braids, the sensation thrilling through his nerves far more powerfully than he expected. It had been…never, since anyone had done that. No time in his life had seen him experience this. In a sense, this was the first time the stallion had ever been in this situation; a place where a mare he wished to be with was encouraging him to do what his instincts were vehemently pushing him towards. He felt the shocking sting of Brisa’s tail whip around when she swished it against her side, and his eyes snapped open, watching her body shift.
He felt as though he was moving outside of himself. Brisa moved forward and he took his place behind her, the drive she had ignited in him impossible to resist now. They had reached the event horizon of this moment and they were committed to their trajectory of intertwining forms. The one thought remaining in his mind was that he had to be gentle; he must be gentle – and as he took from her the pleasure she offered, the dual-horned demon only hoped that he had succeeded in at least his singular goal.
Hurting her…he would never forgive himself.
Finding himself on all four hooves again and feeling strangely sedated now, Torleik took a step back, regarding Brisa curiously. What did one say? What did one do after that? The only thing he could think of was to inquire of her well-being, so he did.
“Are you all right?”
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OOC: o.O Torleik like wat. Wat I do now?
04-10-2014, 10:41 PM (This post was last modified: 04-12-2014, 05:51 PM by Brisa.)
Nothing existed outside her little bubble of warmth, no trees, no grass, no life. Inside it was just herself and the black stallion that had captivated her attention by kindness and understanding. Things that she had believed the male species were incapable of at one point in time, now surrounded her with a feeling of security and longing for more. Something with more contact, something she had never given, no trusted to anyone else. Maybe she was living in a dream or in an alternate reality created by her imagination. It was..it was.. as if she was there but not really there, it was complicated to explain with words or even to imagine but it was real.
Feeling her heartbeat pounding within her chest she was achingly aware of each and every sinew tensing in anticipation for something she instinctually knew was about to happen but her mind could not really comprehend. It was as if she was running on autopilot with her instincts taking over from her many ancestors before her that hardwired her brain to what knowledge was hidden there. A hidden vault beneath the ruins that everyone had but few knew how to use properly to understand its signals. She was a passenger just along for the ride and so far she was more than enjoying the view but growing impatient as to the final destination, wherever that was.
At first the old feeling of terror gripped her mind but slowly the fear dissolved around her leaving her feeling at peace for once. Coming back down to reality a soft humm drew her ears back with curiosity before lack of information turned her head so she might understand. The humm was not a humm but instead words, words that made no sense to her overwhelmed brain at first. A minute or two passed before the sentence registered to draw its singular response of a soft wicker from her vocals. She was all right, hell right now she felt like she was standing atop the world looking down on everyone below. Damn hormones made her feel euphoric as a matter of fact and a little giddy. Her mouth turned up in a small smile as she turned herself to face the stud once again her heart still pounding.
She was smiling. That was good, right? Surely if he had hurt her she would have let him know, or she wouldn’t be smiling at him now. Still, she hadn’t answered his question…and that did leave him with some amount of concern. Perhaps she felt her whicker and the smile was answer enough. Torleik knew he certainly felt fine – fantastic, even. The stallion could not recall a moment in time where he had felt so…peaceful and powerful at once, so satisfied and complacent, yet ready for a race across this field they currently inhabited. He was weak and strong at the same time; painfully awake and half-under in the same moment.
Did Brisa feel as he did? Was this what…this was supposed to feel like? Good? Pleasurable? Enjoyable? It was a surprise to the dual-horned male that he wished to do it again. Torleik had expected guilt and self-loathing like the last time, but neither seemed to hover anywhere near his conscious mind. Maybe this was how everything like this was when he was allowed the choice and not forced into it. Having a willing partner was certainly vastly more helpful in terms of his conscience, and a willing and beautiful partner at that.
A partner he wished to be close to. Taking a step, his legs feeling a little unsteady, Torleik arced his neck over hers and drew her to him, enjoying her proximity, warmth and scent. This was much better than that other, foolish stallion, he thought. Still, some doubts began to creep into his mind. What did this mean, now? Between them? What if she…ended up with his child? He had not considered that.
Fool. The word was short, in his father’s voice. Torleik grimaced. She was in heat and he had given in, an idiotic decision, despite his good intentions. The male took a deep breath, considering the only option he would allow himself, should this union produce an offspring – unplanned as it may be: he would try to be a good father. But gods help him, he was not ready for that, and he prayed this moment of weakness would not birth a permanent reminder of their choices.
“We cannot stay here forever,” Torleik finally murmured, pulling back. “And I will not let you wander alone.” Where she went, he would follow, and keep her safe. For now.
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