the Rift


[JUDGED] Storms gathering (Africa//Spar)
Ascended Helovian

Midas the Gallant Posts: 1,164
Deceased
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: Immortal :: Soul is 7 (FF) Buff: HUNTER
Fina :: Common Zephyr :: Phoenix & Wakiya & Neve :: Common Zephyr :: Arctic Angel
#1
I hadn’t sparred in what felt like ages. My body had finally recovered enough to withstand magic, and physical strain. With a herd that felt tease and on edge, fighting was often used as an escape from the daily humdrums. A way to clear our minds and withstand the torments that life bestowed. Fina flew close by, her raptor eyes watching for trouble. We were posted on the surf, water splashed my ankles; soaking the fur and lining the tiny hairs with salt. Still no sign of Cera, Kri, Ktulu, Ranjiri. Hector. The list of loved ones who had gone missing just kept growing. One forehoof struck the ocean, a symbol of pent frustration. My wings lay slack, the tips of golden primary’s brushed earth and slipped into the waters hungry mouth.

Just a month ago I had washed up on this shoreline, near death. Now I stood by, strong, a soldier blessed in the cruelest of ways. Nobody save for a few knew of what had happened, and they only knew the small details. Fina chirped from above, a blatant disagreement. She glided lower on the constant breeze until her wings hovered only four or so feet from the water.
Yar. I thought, well, she knew.

Dark rain clouds rolled in, a distant storm nearly two miles away was coming inland. Dry lighting flashed overhead, and thunder filled our ears. The beach was filled with dry seaweed and shells, I turned to walk beside the water, careful to not trodden the small crabs which came out to investigate.

OCC:

Setting: Dragon’s Throat ocean side. It’s an hour or so before sunset and there is a storm brewing. Capable of producing hail, wind, lightening, rain, ect.

Hybridized System! Spar with Africa.

Attack: (0,3)
Defense: (0,1)
No magic
No companion

[Image: 5388c9b80fe59]

Africa the Starry-Eyed Posts: 727
Deceased
Mare :: Pegasus :: 16 :: 6 (Tallsun) Buff: NOVICE
Silas :: Common Zephyr :: Roc Riven
#2
[Image: 515b833f251f3]
Look down
The ground below is crumbling
Look up
The stars are all exploding


The stench of salt intensified incredibly, the nearer she drew the frothing, windblown ocean. Velvety, charcoal-grey nostrils fluttered with excitement as they sucked deeply the cooler air by the coast. Africa had not sparred before, and while her heart was burning with an apprehensive desire to please her competition; the Sultan himself, the young upbeat Pegasus could not quash the feverish enthusiasm, which had all but engulfed her character.

Two battles had she witnessed before this; the first a display of might and power by Midas in the cliffs of Heavenly Fields; the second, a brutal price paid personally, for her own foolish trespass. She knew well that this sort of training exercise was different through- and despite the gentleness of her young soul, she was well and truly committed to bettering her skills should the need for combat ever arise again.

Silas was gliding effortlessly to the one-winged mare’s rear, riding in style the slipstream; brushed by a light spray of golden sand and tendrils of wispy, licking black and crimson tail. He would follow her always, even though his participation on this occasion was unwarranted. The little Zephyr fluttered to find rest on the sand, some distance away from his beloved as she drew to a curt, sliding halt perhaps two lengths down from the familiar black and white stallion, she too pausing by the lapping water’s edge.

Africa greeted the Sultan cheerfully though without speech- as was her natural and untiring way. Above her head, she noted sparing a second’s glance to see, a rim of ominous grey thunderheads expanding; a thick blanket to dim the approach of sunset still further. While thunder roared ferociously overhead and cracking lightning illuminated the beach, Africa settled her focus onto the task at hand, bristling in place (her best idea given the vast lack of experience in this field); and the humble young creature prepared herself for what would follow.

OOC: First spar yikes… hope I wasn't meant to make the first attack.
Attack: (0/3)
Defense: (0/1)

Table Header credits go to baylee.
Pegasus icon lineart credits go to Tamme.
Ascended Helovian

Midas the Gallant Posts: 1,164
Deceased
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: Immortal :: Soul is 7 (FF) Buff: HUNTER
Fina :: Common Zephyr :: Phoenix & Wakiya & Neve :: Common Zephyr :: Arctic Angel
#3
I was so enthralled by the sound of thunder and the roaring of the ocean, I didn’t even notice when a certain mistress came from the desert on a cool ocean breeze. Aye, my patched up, broken little comrade; though perhaps not so little anymore, and not just because extra inches that threatened to tower me, (much like the rest.) Still, before becoming earthbound one would have thought her to be a fragile creature (and thus small)—unable to fend off the slightest agitation. Tainted scars would prove such notions completely false, said lass could obviously fend for herself. Aye, she wouldn’t still be living if that much wasn’t true.

My ears catch the whispering sounds of her hooves drawing closer, fatherly eyes rise to catch the feminine frame bobbing over dark dunes. Dual colored mane dances around my shoulders, the elements cause loose tendrils to whip across my neck as body shifts to regard this steel grey woman. Fina slips ahead, gliding higher on the salty breeze—daringly drawing toward the blackening sky. Unfearful as dry lighting cracks heaven apart. Clouds roll in above us, thunder echoes. A smile is already stretching tired lines, welcoming her in a traditional fashion. She says nothing save for returning my expression. Slightly confused by the approach I offered her my muzzle, willing to make physical contact in hopes of releasing whatever pent up stress might be flexing her muscles and flashing those normally complacent eyes, “What ails ye Africa? Are ye well?”

OCC: I couldn’t make him just attack her <<;
Hybridized System! Spar with Africa.
Attack: (0,3)
Defense: (0,1)
No magic
No companion

[Image: 5388c9b80fe59]

Africa the Starry-Eyed Posts: 727
Deceased
Mare :: Pegasus :: 16 :: 6 (Tallsun) Buff: NOVICE
Silas :: Common Zephyr :: Roc Riven
#4
[Image: 515b833f251f3]

In the night the stormy night she'll close her eyes
In the night the stormy night away she'd fly


Their noses touched briefly and trembling grey nostrils drew in whatever breath was offered, an exchange of sorts, she inturn expelling her own gently for he. Perhaps it was the electricity, alive and arcing through the atmosphere beyond her face; or maybe it was the sheer anticipation and thrill of what was to follow- a spar between friends, not like the last of her terrible experiences. For this occasion the one-winged mare was excited and no frightened creases returned to spoil the youthful glow which had by now, again filled out her pale mask.
Indeed his sensitive gesture soothed the nerves in her mind, the tension caused by a looming unknown. This would be another notch in her belt, no matter the outcome, and softly her voice returned to him the answer. “Very well friend, and you?” Observant as she had become, Africa knew Midas was weary and after a pause to listen, playfully butted her still offered nose towards him- leaping away afterwards, along the shoreline with a bright, though compassionate giggle through a splash of sodden shadowy-gold sand, the second after. “I will go easy on you Sultan!” She stirred teasingly aloud, hoping that the mildly superficial lightness in her heart might spread even a little to his.

Her bouncing stride slowed about one and a half body-lengths from the black and white stallion, and she tried quickly to arrange the inexpert flood of thoughts and ideas into a plan more defined and clever. Turning her long neck quickly away from the frothy ocean while legs were still in motion, Africa’s narrowed and calculating gaze looked for a target upon her opponent. For a moment he seemed to be illuminated as another crack filled the darkening atmosphere with bright white, and thunder roared ferociously in answer. Her concentration strained; will sought to gape upwards in wonder, but the dreamer fought that childish urge and her body swung around as tightly as her agile Andalusion heritage would allow, following the path of her long leading skull.

Rust-stained knees lifted suddenly, thrusting her mass forward, back towards Midas in a loose arc shape off the edge of the water, where the sand was neither flimsy-dry nor soaked to excess; where it might buckle beneath her weighty tread and trip her. She checked her speed carefully to maintain a swift, manoeuvrable trot and Africa came upon him with bated breath and a slight wince to crinkle the supple skin between flaccid nostrils. She continued to thrust forward at an angle that should have had her arrive head-first, around the vicinity of his right foreleg.
Amber eyes zoomed in on the region she was attacking, though she held an air of awareness, more or less convinced that he would not likely stay in place to allow her freedom to hit.
She knew anything was possible in Helovia, and preserved her open mind though. Clenching her haunches and propping to initiate her inexperienced plan, the dappled Pegasus launched airborne fore-hooves towards that knee, perhaps overcompensating a little in height- which might pay off should he start forward and bare the limb behind instead... or something.

Ooc: His armour is magic isn’t it? I made the attack appropriate if he is wearing it just in case!
Words: 522
Attack: (1/3)
Defense: (0/1)



Table Header credits go to baylee.
Pegasus icon lineart credits go to Tamme.
Ascended Helovian

Midas the Gallant Posts: 1,164
Deceased
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: Immortal :: Soul is 7 (FF) Buff: HUNTER
Fina :: Common Zephyr :: Phoenix & Wakiya & Neve :: Common Zephyr :: Arctic Angel
#5
We had walked side by side in a gale once before; though our needs had been very different. Nay, our souls had been different. She, a virgin, pure in her handlings of this serial world; and I, a soldier. My spirit during those final days of service had been weighted, aye weighted—but compared to the chains of leadership, those links had been nothing but rain sleeking from my body. This meeting was different, when our noses grazed each other I feel a fever of elation building behind those calculating orbs, “what are ye thinking?” I wanted to ask aloud. Aurous pools mused over her facade. My curiosity was sullen only for a moment before she responded, all the while bouncing away like a delighted child.

“I will go easy on you Sultan!”

Easy? A familiar warrior emerged through the strain of lines that had become my face. Ebony corners curve into an almost daring smirk, one ear drifts back and my befuddled expression falls aside. A chuckle swells within my breast, “Let’s see your skills then,” vocals bellow, rising above the storm as waves crash behind and shower our pelts with kisses from the sea. I had an unfair advantage, one of many that my friend here would have to adapt to. Wings. The ivory feathers stretch from their sheath beside my barrel in a wide arch, hungry for wind to fill their boundless sails.

She paces off a few steps, unrelenting goldrods follow the strain of her hips—watching as those muscles flex with each sunken step. It would seem we both are preparing for the moment when her splotched feet might swing into action. My tail, now wet and heavy from walking beside the water, swings aside and splashes my right flank.

The sliver girl draws near, mist swirls ahead of our nostrils—thunder claps overhead in a jolly chorus for us to begin. She came right and I danced my small but stocky frame to the left. Campolina bowed head shifts to angle away from the swell of her larger barrel; while my wings slither close in one swift motion. Steel grey thighs flex and as she prepares to rise up my lips slither apart with the agility of a serpent.

The spot that she deemed to strike is no longer there, I hear and feel a shuffling of sand but the there is no pain, nor the heat of her breath against my body. A missed attempt most likely; there is little time for either of us dwell. Swiftly my neck strides forward, striking out try for a quick but stinging blow across her right cannon or pastern. Patched limbs all the while are pressing ahead, pushing to get some distance between us. While the head is busy, hindquarters flex, and right hock rises in an awkward but practiced strike to hit at Africa’s head, neck or forelegs should they still be in closes vicinity.

OCC: He wears his armor as a collar, he won't be using it for this spar ^^;
Words: 490
Attack: (1,3)
Defense: (0,1)
No magic
No companion

[Image: 5388c9b80fe59]

Africa the Starry-Eyed Posts: 727
Deceased
Mare :: Pegasus :: 16 :: 6 (Tallsun) Buff: NOVICE
Silas :: Common Zephyr :: Roc Riven
#6
[Image: 515b833f251f3]

In the night the stormy night she'll close her eyes
In the night the stormy night away she'd fly


Maybe she was a dupe for even toying with the idea that she could offer to the expert stallion a challenge. The weight of the brewing storm clouds above quickly suffocated the evenings dull light and Africa found that her eyes were straining closer in order to decipher the blend of black paint and shadow sliding just as fast as each other before the grim hue of the thrashing ocean. It was a fool’s hope that compelled her to continue, and a blunt desire to please the stallion whose cause she served so devotedly.

His voice rattled through her ears again and again, mixing with the steady crash of windswept waves and rolling thunder- ‘Let’s see your skills then’ and her face flushed hot with embarrassment as her scrabbling attack met naught but waterlogged sand. Knees that she had stiffened to worsen the effect of the attack jarred beneath the press of her forward tilted weight; the drenched sand where he had been not so forgiving, and pain she had not been well prepared for ricocheted through the knobbly joints.

Perhaps for the heart of a soldier, such sport as sparring was stress-relieving and enjoyable, but Africa found her confidence melting away into the violet strike of another lightning fork.

Her long skull lifted, the expression across her features both bewildered and disheartened, and her humble eyes searched for the stallion who had danced meticulously to his left, away and out of reach of her failing assault. Surprise engulfed her as bared teeth were thrust down towards her right cannon in the same fleeting moment of his escape, and she balked to her left abruptly without enough speed- the curse of a well-crafted, though heavy frame.

His snapping teeth grazed the left-behind-leg as she inelegantly flung herself left and away from his lowered face, bruising the unpadded bone there easily. The tender-hearted mare held her breath; his skill far outweighed her ability to predict his technique. Weight falling across splayed forelegs into the yielding sand beyond the waterline, Africa’s lax reflexes failed to remove her behind from the brunt of his skilful buck-like manoeuvrer before he should have sailed on away. His lunging limb ploughs into the right curve of her rib-barred barrel and the wind for a second is forced from her lungs as a result of the powerful impact. The wing was out of reach having already opened in a vain, though instinctive attempt to manage some balance.

Already tipped forward across her forelegs, the one-winged mare’s own hind-legs sailed out behind her to kick at the stallion’s moving mass squarely, before he was out of her reach entirely.

Again thunder bellowed through the heavens, rising ferociously above the throbbing pulse in her ears. Africa had not the time to hesitate, her back hooves were sinking again into the cushion of the soaked sand and she burst forward, lone wing still lifted at half-mast to the right of her rocking back. With a limber frame curling around so that searching eyes could monitor Midas’s next move, Africa broke into a choppy, checked canter to close any distance he hoped to gain. Already she was tiring.

Words: 527
Attack: (2,3)
Defense: (0,1)
HP: 33.5 / 47



Table Header credits go to baylee.
Pegasus icon lineart credits go to Tamme.
Ascended Helovian

Midas the Gallant Posts: 1,164
Deceased
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: Immortal :: Soul is 7 (FF) Buff: HUNTER
Fina :: Common Zephyr :: Phoenix & Wakiya & Neve :: Common Zephyr :: Arctic Angel
#7
In this cruel game we played with each other, it was hard to not hurt our friends and families. It was even more difficult to be merciful when they pounded us with responsibilities, strife and the like. Africa was learned in this lesson, even as I tried to make my strikes as gentle as possible. It was futile to not feel pain and still learn something—we grew though the pain, learned to accept it, and sometimes to even embrace our world of agony.

Her slender limb brushed my mouth long enough for teeth to settle and withdraw all in one rapid pass. I didn’t bite down with an intent on crushing her leg. She shies away from the pain regardless of my intent though, even as the curve of my hoof finds her fleshy side in a blunt halfhearted kick. There is no victory, I didn’t take pleasure from teaching our family how to fight, how to use the pain and turn it against their enemies.

Africa rose to the occasion. She planted her feet, and I could feel the attack coming but sadly luck would have me in a position where I wouldn’t be quick enough to avoid it. Ears slipped back against the moist mat of tangled mane. Her strong quarters and ample size were quick enough to land a solid blow against the right side of my barrel and the wing that had curled itself tightly there. The pure force of her all out thrust was enough to pry a shocked cry from lips. Round daggers held nothing back as they planted themselves aggressively against the mass of my ivory feathers and ribs.

Pain erupted from the area which she struck, it gushed though my blood and into the recesses of the brain that registered damage. It was my turn to sidestep away; using my smaller portioned frame to gain a little distance between us. Her breeding was swift enough to keep my toes active and apparently strong enough to make me proud. The surprise from her attack was short-lived, and quickly wore off; instead of anger my facade was replaced with a breathless grin, “Good,” I hissed approvingly.

My right wing remains curled in tightly against my side—uselessly bruised. I kept it there because even I was to stretch it out now, the pain wouldn’t help my cause. This Sultan was beginning to understand how she had survived her attackers. Glinting eyes watched as Africa plowed away though the sand, escaping near the surf. Thunder clouds raced above as I recovered and cantered ahead in a strong but weighted pace. Smooth sand collapsed beneath me.

A plan formed to meet her next attack head on. I skid to a stop when she turned to face me, purposely digging my heels into the sand and throwing my one uninjured left wing into the loose mess of soft surf. Scooping up the granules in a swift down beat, I tried to send the flying mess of sand in her direction on the upbeat. Hoping to blind her vision—one second later I had swung my wing back and shifted weight into a standing rear. Forlimbs stuck the air impressively, scattering sand and shells as they went up and down, eager to bite into her flesh. Head uncoiled toward her face or neck, snapping at whatever came in close vicinity.

Words: 561

Attack: (2,3)

[Image: 5388c9b80fe59]

Africa the Starry-Eyed Posts: 727
Deceased
Mare :: Pegasus :: 16 :: 6 (Tallsun) Buff: NOVICE
Silas :: Common Zephyr :: Roc Riven
#8
[Image: 515b833f251f3]

In the night the stormy night she'll close her eyes
In the night the stormy night away she'd fly



Her hide was streaked with sweat and flecked rusty-red by flung, damp sand, and it rippled constantly, her nerves supercharged with an intoxicating brew of adrenaline and fatigue. She tried in earnest to keep her pale, cautious gaze trained to Midas’s moving black and white form, but while the atmosphere grew ever darker; rumbling and flashing with violent, unpredictable bursts, Africa struggled a little to maintain that vigilant concentration which the spar demanded. Certainly she was not prepared for the creativity of his next assault- never had the young mare considered the art of warfare to be anything so resourceful or inventive.

As long, trembling legs ploughed forward through the frothing, breaking waves along the beach; following obediently the stagnant fix of her eyes, the stallion turned suddenly towards her. She watched warily, ignorantly, as his wing dipped promptly during the turn, primary feathers slipping beneath the churning surface of the sea. Africa’s long coal-hued ears swivelled uncertainly through the heavy tangle of mane across her poll, coming to rest sharply backwards as she propped her weight heavily in the same direction, coming to an abrupt standstill across coiled hind-quarters. A rapid spray of bitterly cold surf and unsettled sand covered the distance between Midas’s golden tipped wing and her face in no time and as the dappled mare was sitting back, weight driving her down into the soaked sand, her face swung right and spontaneously- helplessly, away from the onslaught.

Gritty sand and stinging salt water clung heinously to long black lashes, burning her eyes when they opened again in a desperate attempt to maintain visual awareness. It was a terrible, abrasive feeling, and she blinked quickly; again and again through welling tears, trying to rid herself of the painful interruption. It was no easy task, and try as she might she could not find her opponent through filmy eyes, and distorted sight. He appeared only as a blur in the storm-dark evening, a mass of shadow looming close in front; lifting, towering- and Africa balked, throwing her blinded skull left and right in alarm.

His hooves thrashed and sprays of boosted beach-litter showered across the bewildered mare; feeding her distress. Africa’s wildly tossing face was clipped as it sailed beneath one brandished hoof- a result of her own foolishness and flailing, mindless reaction. As the sharp impact slipped clear from the bony ridge of her nose (leaving in its wake a slither of peeled skin and pluming pain beneath, some sense- perhaps instinct, returned to her and her waving neck stilled immediately. It was of little benefit; too little too soon, and her eyes cleared enough in time to watch the arriving snap of teeth close in. Quickly she ducked, hoping to fall from the reach of his uplifted being, but as the response to his attack was so greatly delayed and the fresh ache in her head so dense, Africa did not move nearly fast enough. Midas’s teeth grasped tightly and securely the turning ear above, and pulled at it unkindly. The grey’s head jerked sidewards as pain seared through her skull and the ear pulled clear, tearing ever so slightly along its delicate, thin rim.

Restored sight provided her with enough confidence and clarity in the next moment, to drive forward beneath him with her neck dipped low because he was not as tall as she- perhaps an imprudent decision, but the flex of his burdened hind-limbs and the upward stretch of his barrel seemed to present an opportunity to great to ignore. Without hesitation clenched haunches propelled her forwards, and extended forelegs- reaching hooves, aimed themselves towards his weight-burdened legs. As she sailed forwards, Africa lifted her maw, lips peeled and teeth snapping harshly towards his flanks or any other part of his exposed undercarriage that they could find.


Words: 634
Attack: (3,3)
Defense: (0,1)
HP: 23



Table Header credits go to baylee.
Pegasus icon lineart credits go to Tamme.
Ascended Helovian

Midas the Gallant Posts: 1,164
Deceased
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: Immortal :: Soul is 7 (FF) Buff: HUNTER
Fina :: Common Zephyr :: Phoenix & Wakiya & Neve :: Common Zephyr :: Arctic Angel
#9
It hurt my heart to watch her doe like eyes widen in pain, struggling with a familiar sensation that would likely resurface former memories, painful memories. It was hard to keep dancing along, knowing that I was the one to inflict damage to this gentle warrior who was no longer the sweet and innocent girl that we had made her out to be. Still, it was better that Africa’s brethren taught this dance, instead of those pronged demons that cursed our soil. Sand had sprang into the air and found a blinding mark with perfect aim. My sea soaked forelimbs lashed overhead unrebuked, aiming for the shying girl below. I didn’t smile or feel an ounce of victory by my strength and agility, instead there was almost a sense of guilt. Was I pushing too hard?

Africa didn’t move away quick enough, one failing dagger struck the tip of her snout and my gapping mouth found access to her delicate ear. Truthfully these efforts where halfhearted at best, I was trying to be gentle even as my teeth gave through to that sensitive flesh. Not more than a second after, I pulled away, retracting my salve covered curs behind a black silk curtain.

She had shown impressive maneuverability and taken advantage of me once before, sinking in a surprise attack that had bruised my shoulder and rendered this right wing rather useless. I didn’t know if it was skill or luck, but luck wouldn’t repeat itself this time. Surpassing her speed from years of practice, my quarters loosened their tense hold—collapsing my compact painted frame forward by use of gravity and momentum. I recoiled from her, retracting my dirty limbs back across the loose granules to put some distance between us. Her incisors might have intended to come for my undercarriage, but they arrived too late and instead snapped at bare air in place of soft flesh.

Unmarked maw thrust aside from her failing teeth and limbs, moist mane was flung by the wind in a disarray. Golden points dug deeply into the forgiving sand as I leaned all my weight back into a nearly sitting position, my one uninjured left wing unfurls a split second later. It thrusts forward with one heavy beat that aimed to bat her head or neck hard enough to either knock this passionate Oracle aside, or at least give me time for evasion by use of distraction.

Chest heaves wearily, hissing out a breath of pent up air as ivories slither from their ebony sheath; damp head is coiled as a serpent right before giving a warning strike. Like a spring under too much pressure I lash out with choppers halfway blunted together. Taking point toward her lengthier crown or neck. Somewhere above us a lightning bolt cracked appropriately, urging our fight on as the sky darkened impossibly further. Cold rain began to fall in icy sheets.

Words: 483

Attack: (3/3)

OCC: You defend and then we are done! Good job and amazing first spar!

[Image: 5388c9b80fe59]

Africa the Starry-Eyed Posts: 727
Deceased
Mare :: Pegasus :: 16 :: 6 (Tallsun) Buff: NOVICE
Silas :: Common Zephyr :: Roc Riven
#10
[Image: 515b833f251f3]

In the night the stormy night she'll close her eyes
In the night the stormy night away she'd fly

Dragon’s Throat Oracle


She was green; unskilled and without the ability to control or manage the ferocity of her attacks like her mentor, who struck with care and confidence- wishing not to cause grand injury. First and foremost, the young dapple grey was a creature of prey and the swell of raw instinct surged through her veins as a driving force she could not ignore, and it gave her a tactless recklessness that would perhaps lead to her downfall in this spar.

It was an ambitious move, flinging herself beneath a rearing opponent, flawed in countless ways although her uneducated mind could not quite quickly enough fathom the repercussions to follow. With her thoughts still a haze of broiling pain and confused determination, Africa completely miscalculated her attack. Stiffened knees drove hard the chipped rim of her hooves down into the sodden sand alone, and glassy eyes that still struggled with residual grit widened in startled consternation. Her teeth also snapped with a violent clack around naught but the frigid howl of wind. Midas was no longer there, the shadow of his bulk looming above had been lost and the foolish young grey realised hopelessly that through her lunge, long black lashes had clenched tightly together.

Her heart sank dismally, and Africa turned awkwardly, cumbersomely now as only her exhausted body could, to follow the muffled churn of his scuffling hooves with a bemused glare overwhelming her weathered expression. Still the storm roared and seethed above them, shedding frequent forks of electricity that illuminated the surfside playing field- she knew not how much longer she could bare to continue, and the first cold (though insignificant) droplets of rain began to plummet around them.

Fighting the urge to shrink away and hide from him in the rolling waves, Africa finished the half circle which should find her facing Midas once more, and propped almost immediately against the tight clench of her thighs. Only as the forearm of his golden fringed wing collided with her upper neck did the young mare realise how unfit she truly was for such energetic, reactive activity. She barely flinched on the impact (save for the automatic wince and scrunch of languid eyes), her sweating bulk too lost for breath and sapped of vigour to manage any sort of counter. It was over, she could bare it no longer and while wholeheartedly she wished to impress the eyes of her superior, Africa just simply had nothing left to give.

She watched blandly and shakily, almost as though she were hovering above herself, as Midas closed once again with bursting ability. His teeth snaked forward towards her, ample warning offered ahead of that strike which soon came, and Africa felt the sting of his half-closed bite grasp the warm skin lining her cheek. The bruising blow was placed and she fought the pain inflicted while the attack was still in motion, involuntarily wrenching her face from his grip; from the hot stale breath which flooded her nostrils, and the gaze which seemed all the more haunting so intimately nearby. Her skin pulled clear of his teeth and she grimaced, plunging her fore-quarters away from his reach.

Perhaps she would endeavour to better the few skills she possessed at a later time; or maybe she just simply was not a capable warrior to begin with. Either way, as the young grey swept with staggering strides from her Sulatan’s location, Africa thought groggily that it would be many weeks before the fatigue of this spar wore off enough for her to consider trying again.


Words: 591
Attack: (3,3)
Defense: (1,1)
HP: 14.5
OOC: Thank you so much for the spar Angel. You are so talented, meep….



Table Header credits go to baylee.
Pegasus icon lineart credits go to Tamme.

Official Posts: 847
Administrator
Stallion :: Equine :: ::
Official
#11

By my verdict: MIDAS is the winner!

AFRICA
Realism [4.5]
For your first spar, this was great. I really loved how Africa responded very realistically to Midas' attacks (and her critical miss...:| ) Usually during a first spar, the gut reaction is to dodge everything, or drop attacks. I am thoroughly impressed with how you wrote this spar!


Emotion [+2]
AMAZBALLS. Everything I read seemed bang-on with what I would expect from Africa.


Prose [+4]
A few spelling mistakes such as skilful buck-like manoeuvrer ... But nothing too bad.


Readability [+3]
I LOVED how you wrote Africa here. Lines like this, His snapping teeth grazed the left-behind-leg as she inelegantly flung herself left and away from his lowered face, bruising the unpadded bone there easily. The tender-hearted mare held her breath; his skill far outweighed her ability to predict his technique. - awesome.

And this! It was an ambitious move, flinging herself beneath a rearing opponent, flawed in countless ways although her uneducated mind could not quite quickly enough fathom the repercussions to follow. With her thoughts still a haze of broiling pain and confused determination, Africa completely miscalculated her attack.


Finally tally: 14.5 + 13.5 = 28

*******************************************

MIDAS
Realism [+4]
No issues! This was a great spar, and I was happy to see you both incorporate opening dialogue, as well as really emphasize the location/setting/weather.


Emotion [+1.5]

Oh fatherly Midas...I really got the sense that he truly felt he was doing Africa a favour by sparring with her, rather than letting her learn these lessons in the real world.

Prose [ +5]

A few spelling mistakes: ...The sliver girl ... Africa was learned in this lesson, etc.

Readability [ +3]
No issues!

Finally tally: 36.5 + 13.5 = 50


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