illynx,

She fell, and the horned bitch buggles in enthusiasm for her moment of glory, raising her golden appendage to the heavens and swinging her golden forelimbs through the air savagely. Her slick and long line of a tail is curled around her hind legs in her triumph, however, and as she charges forward to close in on the felled winged mare, one of her most prized possessions betray her; she trips and nearly goes down herself, her right knee smeared in murky brown mud from where her body has pressed its point into the earth. Pain shoots up the limb and back down it, leaving her knee nearly numb with hot, tingling pain, but she is not so easily diverted from obvious prey - like the cougar she is, the mare is back on four hooves in a matter of seconds, the wince that befalls her face as full weight is placed down on the knee and forced to run obscurred by the sinister fringes of her forelock that has, seemingly, become glued to her features.

The Gilded Blade is pissed when the woman gets back up with little more than a heavily bruised and rather grimy side, her amused smile washed away and replaced with her battle frown as the world is lit up with blue once again. She has closed the gap in the time it has taken the stunned pegasi to rise from the earth, and while Parelia's charge is fierce, to be sure (insert insane mental giggle here), it sends her far beyond the reach of the Lady's chocolate chest. Her hind hooves connect with Illynx's left hip, in the fleshy bit, the sinew rippling and bulging around the impact and sending a nearly pleasurable ache throughout the entire muscle set; the mare's grimace of war becomes a snarl as she slashes to the left with her namesake in hopes of blood, it's golden edge poised to rip and sever.

She back pedals, this time sure to avoid the snares of her tail that curls like a treacherous snake around her dancing hooves, angling her ass back around to the right in a counter clockwise motion, her horn still striking at any open flesh it could manage to reach - she'd begun her assault on the mare's left hip, but has sent seven hard strikes out with every bend of her graceful neck all while arranging herself to angle it's point down towards the left wing joint. The potential blow to the beloved mutation of this woman's species sent thrills of power throbbing through the mare's muscles, adding more vehemence to the gritting of her teeth than just the pain that her ribs and knee were causing her, the dull ache of the bruise on her hip.

There will be no safety in the clouds, this afternoon. She will make sure of it.

[ 2/3; 479 words.
Illynx stumbles on her own tail (lul) and biffs it, hurting her right knee; she also takes a kick to the left hip. She then aims seven horn strikes along Parelia's topline, finishing off with one aimed towards the wing joint on her shoulder.

OOC: I really love how in this Parelia is! We know how she feels, and what she's thinking, and most of the time, this is were new fighters make mistakes; they get so involved in the action, they forget their character - but she's very much in this post and I loooove it.

However, your sense of timing is a bit off - I myself struggle with it immensely so I actually have some good tips for you! First off, we want to try to keep the amount of time for each reply section (you reply to damage, then attack yourself) you want to time it to be about a minute per section, were it to play out in real time. Anything else is awkward for the person you're writing with - as you can see, I've made Illynx stumble to use up some time, as she was charging forwards and would have been able to close the distance between herself and Parelia quite easily had she not decided to be a blood thirsty show off.

There is also very little mention of direction. On traditional spars and challenges, especially, you want to make sure to include where your character is aiming and how they are attacking with directional cues: "She back pedals, this time sure to avoid the snares of her tail that curls like a treacherous snake around her dancing hooves, angling her ass back around to the right in a counter clockwise motion" rather than just saying she pivots around to angle herself to attack Parelia's side gives the other writer a better picture of whats happening and makes it feel more "real."

EDIT: because I broke the table. :( fuuu]

intending to burn - pretending to fight it
everyone learns faster on fire