Thinking back on what she had spoken of she wondered herself if what she searched for was actually realistic for anybody anymore or was it simply a dream? Was there such a thing as peace now a days with the darkness slowly driving them from their lands along with the creatures that came along with it? Rumours had been going around that they were not only creatures with serious problems but actually what was left of others just like her who had contracted some illness or disease. Many of the healers had been talking about it at the few meetings there had been so far since the outbreak, but she was still very new to this healing aspect she did not understand too much of what was actually going on. Most things still looked the same to her untrained eyes so she tended to stay away from attempting anything without a lot of guidance for now, otherwise she would likely end up killing herself with any concoctions she created for healing intentions.

If she had actually remembered half of the knowledge that had been given to her over the last two training sessions she would have had half a mind to create something to help relieve the aching pain from her foot and the overall soreness. Passing the idea off as quickly as it came on she made a mental note to herself to look into some of the basic herbs that could be used for instances such as this for future reference. "The world is ever-changing, and where we belong today, we might not belong tomorrow." It had been awhile since she had heard someone speak of the future in this way, but it was true. When she was much younger and still with her family she thought about things with a much greater positive attitude thinking that there was nothing the could not be fixed. Nowadays her views had drastically changed on the topic to have a more realist and sometimes pessimistic outlook.

It was much easier to look upon situations believing the worst to be the outcome as if things turned out better then you would be pleasantly surprised but never actually disappointed by the situation. Maybe someday she would learn to have more faith in things but until that happened she was stuck with her old views. " When you have never felt like you belong it becomes much harder to ever know the difference between the two. Maybe it is something that is just never meant to be.." She commented softly letting her gaze fall for a moment as she digested the words herself. Did she really believe that there was no hope for herself finding her place or did she just cling to the idea because having nothing to explain her sadness was even more depressing.

Her ideas came in pieces making things hard to string together into sentences that could be understood frustrating her further. Why did nothing make sense, why couldn't she manage to find somewhere she could be happy? The immense sadness within was suffocating some days while other times such as right now things seemed ok. Shaking her head to clear the thoughts she tried to refocus herself on some other topic she could make some sense of. " What does it feel like to be apart of something... to feel like you belong?" Hesitation touched into her tone as the question left her lips not knowing if it was appropriate to ask another. Mauja's presence seemed to be lifting some of her barriers that had been used to keep herself shielded from the world. It made her feel vulnerable and even more insecure than she had felt laying in the water at the mercy of nature. Yet there didn't seem to be much that she could do to close the walls again, her heart was so desperate to feel something other than the pain.


TAGS: @[Mauja]
MUSE: Good
NOTES: Hope it makes sense XD