For the first time since entering Helovia, I am afraid. I was not afraid when I arrived, alone, for I knew without a doubt that somehow or other, I would find my way. I was not afraid when Seele invited me to join her little band, for though they may be a few brain cells shorter than I, they suffer from similar (if less manageable) illnesses. I was not afraid when I fought the demon-monster in the sea, though I failed miserably at even that task. But now I am afraid, and I am ashamed to say that I fear something that I cannot even see.

I am not afraid of the dark, but it is the darkness that has driven my misfit family from our home and into hostile territory. I am not afraid to be alone, but I am jumpy as I wander forth on this day, with orders to find someone, anyone who can strengthen our group. Every shadow leaps at me - or, worse, creeps on my heels, following me like a stalking predator, slipping from tree to tree and rock to rock and threatening to swallow me. But they are just shadows, and it is I that moves, and somehow I manage to make it to the Threshold without any cause for panic.

But my home has been swallowed by demons. Where would anyone feel safe after that?

I sigh, and it is the only colourless noise I hear. Even in orangemoon, cardinals chirp a bright red song, and it twines around the other birdcalls that I hear in an intricate dance across my retinas. The grass, not nearly so lively, offers a dull bronze crunch, a dim, beating crackle on the edges of the avian symphony. My hoofbeats are a deep brown, spreading from beneath the grass's less-steady beat. And all of this is normal - all except the barely-there spread of ivory, there and gone as quickly as a blink. Perhaps I would write it off as just that, if not for the fact that my colours are as mental as they are physical, and I can no more turn them off by closing my eyes than stop breathing by going to sleep.

There is someone else here. My pulse quickens, the adrenaline of nerves flooding my system. Dark green swirls along the edges of my vision, a stark reality check from my wonderful (can you catch the sarcasm?) father. His form appears on my left, and he appears to be either laughing at me or yelling at me. To tell the truth, I'm not sure I ever knew the difference. "Oh, shut it," I mutter, offering a particularly foul curse in the tongue of my birth. He begins to paw the ground angrily. I can almost see the steam shooting from his ears - except, oh yeah, he isn't alive. He isn't really there. I shake my head, irritated, but he remains to taunt me, so I give up and simply move forward.

The pretty ivory colour had come from not too far ahead, and so I pick up a slow trot, hoping to catch up (and also hoping not to, seeing as I have recently been rather traumatized). Schwere trots alongside. As I catch up to my little ivory, I offer an admittedly forced smile and an attempt at a cheerful whinny. Upon arriving at her side, however, something about her makes my gaze soften. "Hello, my dear," I say sweetly, ignoring an angry Schwere in the background with a twitch of an ear, "You are new to this land, yes?"

"Talk talk talk."

"No!"

The exclamation admittedly takes me by surprise, and I raise my brows, though the rest of my expression remains neutral. A small part of me, goaded by the crimson outline of my father, briefly wishes to teach the girl a lesson, but I swallow the urge. I am not the mindless killing machine that he tried to create. I have always had a softer side, nurtured by my mother, and though it cost me Schwere's respect, I have tended to healing rather than killing to satisfy the constant emptiness that threatens to overwhelm me. Besides, healing might help ease the burden of my sins.

But the little dove (well, not so little, as she's taller than I am) isn't quite finished, and so with a vague hint of amusement in my violet gaze, I realize that there are two possibilities. One, she is very confused and perhaps a bit frightened, for which I would not blame her in the least; two, she would fit in nicely with my little family. Perhaps it's both. Either way, I know that I cannot let this one go.

So, without further ado, I put on a welcoming smile, and it's not even fake. "Well then," I beam, "allow me to be the first to welcome you to Helovia. This particular area, my dear, is called the Threshold. To my knowledge, it's the only way into our lands. Oh, but where are my manners - my name is Reizend. I am a Medic, and I can offer you shelter." The smile widens. "I do not suggest wandering off alone." There. Just enough of a hint at danger to perhaps convince her to accompany me.

It will please Seele very much if I can bring home a new recruit.

"Talk talk talk."

The pretty girl has such a lovely voice - it dances in smooth ivory waves across my retinas, and I sigh softly. Some, like that stallion Jasper, had such ugly colours - his, for example, had been a dark, murky yellow. I did not particularly enjoy talking to him. But this lovely dove is an absolute dream, and I smile at her cheerfully. Schwere has disappeared, banished by the return of my comfort. For the moment, I am spirit-free, and it pleases me that the fae has had this effect. She stares at me, not quite blankly but not all there either, and I wonder again if perhaps there is something not quite right in her pretty little head.

But she offers her name, and I suppose that's a good sign, so I nod my head indulgently. "And you, as well, my dear," I respond. When she speaks again, she seems calmer, though I can see that she has taken my veiled warning to heart. I had not spoken untruthfully - these are dark times, and I wouldn't want the doll to get in harm's way. "I do indeed. I mentioned that I am a Medic. I heal those of the group called the Asylum - a name that is far more threatening than the group itself, I promise you," I explain, my tone joking. "We simply offer home to those who don't feel they fit elsewhere. We are a family."

I study her briefly. "You are quite welcome to join our family, darling. But I must warn you - our leaders do not take kindly to those who turn their backs on our family. If you choose to join us, you must well and truly join us. If you do not, I will at least escort you somewhere that will ensure your safety." I have taken a liking to the silver mare with the ivory vocals. She is a lucky one.

"Talk talk talk."

I tilt my head slightly to the side, a charming smile dancing across my maw. I wonder what her illness is - she is haunted, that much I can see, but unfortunately my powers affect those physically afflicted, not mentally. After a moment of gazing at the fae, I am again surprised by an odd outburst, this time about her mother. It reminds me of myself, so often followed by my own ghosts. I wonder if this little doll is similarly tainted - but it must be much more serious, or much less managed, than my own little problem. I rarely show any sign of being able to see the forms of those that have died in my life, but I suppose if I were less disciplined, less trained, I might be just as nervous as Cashmere. She agrees to come with me, though, and my smile broadens.

"Excellent," I say. "They will adore you, I'm sure." With that, I begin to walk away, toward the caves in which we have managed to find shelter. It is not so far a walk, really - not enough that we will be in danger. Or, at least, I hope it's not too far. Well, worst case scenario, we will perish in the darkness. And who knows what kind of adventures that will bring? "Come along, dear," I call over my shoulder as I pick my way through the trees. "They will be waiting." And then we're off, me to return home, and she to gain a family. It's been quite the productive day, indeed.

"Talk talk talk."