He was yelling my name, but I wasn't listening. I couldn't listen. I couldn't go back. I couldn't look at him without feeling guilty. It hadn't been my fault. I hadn't meant to try and push him into the water. But he had rolled to get away, and he'd helped me do it! I was scrambling to get away from the scene, knowing I was unable to say sorry - afraid that the sounds were going to send me into some other unknown memory that I couldn't control.

So I had kicked at the tree, trying to injure myself again. I needed to feel the pain. I needed to wake up. I couldn't function, not really. The colour was fine, but it was almost as blinding as how I had been. Everything was a blur that my eyes just didn't want to focus on. I was getting headaches from the strain of constantly focusing on objects and using muscles in my eyes that I had never needed to use before.

And here I was. My hooves pounding into the bark, making sharp indents in the tree as I heard my name again. I'm sobbing, loud cries racking my frame as I felt the desire to scream JUST MAKE IT STOP!. But the scream would never be heard.

It was only when I could feel the pressure on my back, the dent in my spine, and the burning of my legs that I tried to stop. I allowed my legs to fold under me, head burying under my forelegs as I squeezed my eyes shut. I could feel his frame standing near me, resting his weight on his right side and he watched me. He was trying to keep an appearance of calm, but his muscles were tensed, concerned. Was he... worried? I couldn't be sure, but it felt like it. There was some other emotion nestled around inside of his faux demeanor that I just couldn't pinpoint, and that one felt the closest of any guess.

A joke fell off his lips, telling her that he would bathe before he slept the next time, and I pulled my head from under my leg, eyes peering up at him with sorrow boring into him. As I pulled myself to my feet my back gave an audible ,POP! and I winced, knowing I had reinjured my back wound. But, it wasn't fractured again, just tweaked from the kicking at an object that couldn't be moved.

Would he even let me get close to him again? To find a way to say I was sorry. He was too tall for me to find a way to hug him, to try and apologize for what I had just done. So, instead, I tugged at his mane, trying to get him to lower his neck. And, if he would allow it I attempted to rest my head atop it, near his pole where I could reach, trying to accomplish some semblance of a hug. It was then, that I pressed up against his side, lipping near his heart and letting a few breaths escape, radiating warmth against his pelt as I closed my eyes, a few more tears falling and being soaked up my by his pelt.

I needed to explain. Somehow. So, I tugged on his mane again, hoping for a lowered head again so I could bump my maw against his cranium, near his brain. Memories... And then, I ran my maw across his eyes, breathing against them as I passed across them gently. Images...

I took a step back, eyes scanning his frame, scanning the world around me for something I could use to try and explain painful. That was when my eyes locked on the scar upon his bridge. Carefully, I inched forward, pressing my maw up against the scar and breathing against the raised flesh, my eyes trying to meet his as I waited for him to connect the dots. And, then, I slowly backed away. My audits were flickering around, pain dancing through my orbs as I flared my nostrils to breathe in as much oxygen as possible. Painful memories. I'm sorry... Again, I dropped my head down low, peering up at him from behind a veil of pale locks.

Would he ever forgive me?