The strength of these patched shoulders, my resolve that she and others had grown so used to. They had placed me on a high pedestal that held mountains of expectations, and of course it would have only been a matter of time before I fell from that high place, perhaps as Ktulu did—a mortal could only please his/her image for so long. Still, there was a part of this soul that our troop seemed to favor despite its heaving faults. Surely Africa knew that just because I was weak now, it didn’t mean that this faultself would last forever, nor did it signal demise for our kin.
We are shortsighted ever more, unable to often think past our own personal pain. I brought up the topics, surrendered to a friend and let it everything out. But now, what was its worth to us? Those pent up words were off my chest, but would never be off my mind. We had to be there for each other, during those fragile times when our souls burned with a tasteless passion. Torn from betray, grief and trial.
When Africa pulled away I instantly missed her warmth and reflexively twisted to reclaim the connection. Only when a breath had passed did I realize that she might not want that sort of comfort anymore and gave way to pause, concern filtering past the agony which softened my pools to their core. Perhaps my words had gone far enough to come across as burdensome. Gaze went from concerned to ashamed at how I had so selfishly applied pointless grief for her ears. Who said that even a Sultan had the right to burden a sister with such pitiful agony? Fina hissed softly at Silas when he shifted, worried suddenly by the turn of our body language.
Muscles stiffened when she retreated away from me, pained eyes turned aside after noticing the slide of reserve come forth like a cloak across her facade—she couldn’t believe that such would be invisible to me…for I wore a very similar mask and was surrounded by the like of those that sported the same. The meaning of her trembling backstep was misunderstood and like a bumbling fool I lapsed into formal but broken words, “I—I didn’t mean to burden ye…”the soft rasp of my tone turned nearly pleading as she paced back and the glint of regret sparked the liquid gold around each center, “Please…don’t leave me alone this night…stay.” Heart thundered a beat faster, I didn’t want her to go, I didn’t want to watch that coldness sink in. Fina shifted her weight, forced to sadly look on, knowing that each time I placed myself in the jaws of yon beast; the chance of fatal wound grew ever larger.
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