Note & Sabel

@[Cheveyo]
hehe

--

There had been very few moments in Note's life in which he was alone for a long period of time. To add this week to that list was maddening. He desperately wanted to find Cheveyo, the painted acquaintance that had run into him a week ago. She left a nasty bruise on his side and given him a sore leg, but it was better than having no contact with others at all. Note had even ventured back to the place where their first, and by the looks of it last, encounter had been in hopes of possibly running into her once again. Note had had no success in finding her there.
The stallion was much more understanding of those with companions. In Note's socially-lacking life, Sabel was there to run into a rock. Her actions were amusing to Note, but only to an extent. After about a hundred times of her tripping over rocks just to get Note out of his thoughts, it got old.
The bonded pair were wandering the caverns, Sabel occasionally leading the way just to fall over a rock, as she was doing in this moment.
'Could you not? Do you just like the way cave floor tastes? In case you haven't noticed, Sabel, your material is seriously lacking actual humor,' Note spoke through the bond, flicking an ear to the lynx. Her head was driven into the cavern's rocky surface, tail-end facing the sky. She picked herself up at his words, shooting him an icy, sightless glare. 'There no much else I can do! You have no interest in me or anything else unless I'm tripping over rocks!' Sabel hissed, sitting down with her back to Note.
The stallion disregarded the lynx, he had better folks to spend his time with. Well, actually, he didn't. But he would find some.
Note walked further and further into the caves until he could barely see in front of himself. Perhaps this is what the world looks like to Sabel. The lynx had grudgingly followed in his steps, pausing when they stepped into the new part of the cave.
'This place large, too large. Ride?' Sabel practically begged, slipping in between Note's legs. She seemed almost desperate for him. The stallion stopped walking, rolled his eyes, and got to his knees, the lynx skittering out of the way so she wouldn't be crushed. The blind cat eagerly spread herself out on Note's back, entwining one of her paws in his nappy mane.
The stallion stood, irritated by the extra weight Sabel applied. The lynx used to spend most of her time on his withers, now it was a bit of work to even let her lounge upon his back.
Note looked around, the dark adding to the inconvenience of the situation. The stallion slightly spread his large hawk wings, closing his eyes as flames sprouted from the appendages and lit up the cave. To his surprise, the cavern was pretty large. The ceiling hung far above their heads, a strange sensation compared to the seemingly squished up caverns leading to this one.
But who would come somewhere they could not see without flaming wings? No one. Note could be totally alone with Sabel. It was the opposite of what he needed, but was exactly what he had tricked himself into wanting.

Note & Sabel

@[Cheveyo]
x3

--

Sabel heard her first. The lynx flicked an ear backwards to acknowledge the presence of a new horse. 'Someone's coming,' she spoke through the bond. Note turned his head to the cat, giving her a confused look. 'And how do you know this?' Note snapped, his flaming wings flaring at the words, green gaze maddening. Very few times in the year he had spent with Sabel had the cat been good company. Why did he have to get stuck with a companion who was his total opposite? She couldn't even fly.
'I've got good hearing,' Sabel smirked as Note began to hear the soft hoofbeats as well. He turned his head back to the front of his body, anticipation replacing his angered emotions. A fellow equine in the one place he had searched for peace and loneliness. He hoped that it wouldn't be the beast by the name of Gaucho, or petite Sohalia. There were only so many places he could run to from here.
Maybe it would be the slightly smaller paint, Cheveyo. She had seemed all too kind, the dusty bay found himself often yearning for her soft touch to graze his body one more time.
The stallion didn't particularly care to find out who this being was, regardless of how badly he wanted contact with a being besides Sabel. Note reluctantly moved forward, keeping his ears forward. He had to stay on task, stay away from any other horses.
The hoofbeats behind the stallion turned into a walk as a gentle "Hello there," poured from the lips of the horse behind him. Note recognized the voice immediately. Panic set in automatically. 'I'm just going to give her a small smile, then walk away, just walk away,' Note told himself as he turned his head sideways to look at the mare. She looked just as enthralling as the last time he saw her, if not more considering she wasn't running into him.
The stallion stopped, his sharp gaze softening at the sight of the painted mare. He gave her a smile before turning completely around to face Cheveyo. "Hey, how've you been?" Note spoke in the kindest way he could manage, eyes raking up and down her body before settling on her own pink orbs. His feathers lit up as he gazed upon the mare, wings tingling as they remembered the soft touch they were once given by this mare's rosy muzzle.
'What happened walking away?' Sabel purred through the bond, amused by Note's sudden change of mind. She sat up to give the mare a cat-like grin and a welcoming nod. The dusty bay ignored the lynx, for he had a much more spectacular being to focus his attention on. He had told himself he was going to smile and walk away, that much was true, but Cheveyo looked so much nicer when she wasn't running into him. It wouldn't hurt to stay for a few minutes..

Note & Sabel

@[Cheveyo]

--

The dusty bay stallion had always felt as if he were an independent being. Normally, he did not long for the company of others. Lately, Note had been shown a side of these equines that made him hate and fear, yet desire them so much more. It was an odd thought, a contradicting one, but no two people are the same. He had found that it's considerably easier to love some beings than others. Depressing, really. There are few reasons to act out in hatred and violence when one could so effortlessly pour that much devotion into performing a deed of kindness.
'As if you're actually kind,' Sabel mocked, claws kneading on Note's faded coat. 'I may not be the nicest being to spend time with, but at least I'm not shamelessly taking lives and killing dreams,' the stallion replied in an emotionless tone through the bond, leaving the conversation at that.
"I've been well. Ready to get out of these rabbit tunnels." Cheveyo spoke, a lighthearted laugh pouring from her rosy lips. Note did the same, turning his head to the side to peer at his flaming wings. He stretched the appendages without pulling them to their full span. It felt nice, for he rarely got the chance to do so anymore.
"Tell me about it," Note murmured sarcastically, barely loud enough for anyone to hear, though a smirk marked his features. He turned back once again to gaze at the painted mare. She was fantastic, to say the least. Seeing her illuminated only by his fire was a strange sensation to the stallion. If his concentration waned from the magic, they would be consumed by the dark, morphing to mere flailing bodies in the midst of sightlessness.
Cheveyo had taken her gaze to the ceiling. In that brief moment, Note continued to study the mare more thoroughly than ever before. He tried to memorize every scar that marked her coat, how her muscles rippled beneath her skin, the way her pink orbs shone in the light of his fire. He took in every imperfectly perfect property that created this mare.
Once the mare returned her stare to his, a familiar question fell from her lips.

"How have you been?"

A touchy subject. Note's smile faltered for a moment, his sharp green gaze dulling as if they weren't focusing. A weight latched onto his heart, what was left of it anyways, and together they sunk. The feeling made the stallion nauseous, a reminder of the events prior to this pair's meeting.
How could Note phrase the fact that he had slowly been going insane due to a heartbreak, yet still keep the conversation in a positive mood?
The answer: he couldn't.
"Fine," the stallion spoke, his voice cracking and filled with despair as the word tumbled from his ashen lips. Panic, he was panicking again. He shifted uneasily upon his hooves, eyes averting from the mare before him. Lies are not so easily told by the honest.

Note & Sabel

@[Cheveyo]
typed out this wonderful post..computer shut off..did not feel like completely retyping this post until today :/

--

Every fiber of Note's being tensed at her touch, for it sent chills up his spine. It was soft, intended to be comforting, but he hadn't been touched like this in a very, very long time. The stallion was split in his emotions. He wanted dearly to lean into her move, for the mare was incredibly attractive, but Sohalia...
Oh gods, Soh. Why did that name still crawl into his head at the most inappropriate moments possible? Note was positive that she barely gave a damn about him anymore, so why think about her at all? This thought caused his heart to sink, but it was the truth. She had fallen head over hooves for Gaucho, leaving Note to wallow in self-pity on his own. She was probably engaging in much more intimate contact than this.
Frustration swelled in Note at this. He moved into Cheveyo's touch, taking a step towards her and brushing his own muzzle gently against the mare's cheek. The stallion almost felt guilty for doing so. The action had been brought out more so in aggravation than actual affection, she deserved more.
Note pushed this out his mind, becoming consumed with Cheveyo, only Cheveyo. Only her. Only her eyes. Only her body so close to his own. Only her flaxen locks and rosy lips. Only Cheveyo.
A smile found it's way back to Note's features at the sight of the sheer kindness the mare had shown, as small as it was, lifted the weight that had so heavily burdened his chest. This mare would turn into a great companion of his one day. But what about today? Were they friends? Note wasn't sure, he had few friends. Even before his accident, Sohalia and warrior training had consumed his life, nothing else. With his lack of experience in how friendships worked, the stallion discontinued his thoughts to listen to words fall from Cheveyo's lips.

"I'm sorry."

Sorry for what? Sorry for the recent happenings in Note's life, or for asking the question? Cheveyo knew nothing of what had happened to him. She didn't need to be apologizing.
Once again the bay had found himself pondering upon this painted mare's nature. She came off as a fairly non-talkative, perhaps even distant creature, like himself, but she seemed almost remorseful. Note was bewildered by this. He wouldn't behave like she was even to his best friend, if he had one. The stallion had been taught it was a sign of weakness - but this didn't make her seem weak. It made Cheveyo seem compassionate, making her all the more able to be strong, giving her a cause to fight for.
Admirable, not weak.
"You have nothing to be sorry for," Note whispered back, keeping his sharp gaze pinned to hers. His ear's flicked backwards after the words had fallen from his lips. He shifted slightly away from the mare to get a better view of her. "Are we...are we friends?" Note asked, sounding slightly nervous, yet playful, a grin still painted on his lips.
Sabel hadn't done much during these events but internally laugh at the awkwardness of her bonded. He acted totally normal to her, but around horses, the stallion was a different being. If only he could learn to appear to others as he did to her.

Note & Sabel

@[Cheveyo]

--

After a mere six years of life, Note had accumulated a meager amount of knowledge regarding other beings. In all honesty, they confused him. He watched them from afar, taking on the status of a wallflower, but learned so little. In a sense, the dusty bay stallion was quite experienced with interactions of others, having a daughter and an ex-mate. Then again, his interactions with them had been few and far between.
Especially in the past year.
For all Note knew, his precious Skysong was dead. The thought caused a wave of guilt to wash upon the stallion, a sickening feeling clenching his stomach. He wanted to think Sohalia had been kind to the filly, keeping her close in a loving embrace, but he was not so sure. With another mate around, particularly one as primally intact as Gaucho, there was not a reason to keep the filly around.
And to think Skysong had been Note's shot at redeeming himself. What an ultimate failure that had turned out to be.
Second chances are rewarded with caution, thirds are scraped from what little faith is left within. They never turn out well.
No more chances. None at all. Only a void would fill the moral sense he had once lived upon. Instead, the he would choose to play jump rope with the line that bordered good and evil. He would do what he saw fit in the situation, no more this 'bettering oneself' act he had portrayed for so long.
This new code Note would live by was echoing throughout his mind as Cheveyo spoke the words: "Do you believe we are friends?"
If he said yes, then they would go on in a unity of friendship. That would mean giving a great deal of emotional support to the painted mare. Possibly physical as well. But she had been good company so far. Very, very good company.
Company that Note yearned for in an almost lustful way. Or loving. Something like that. He couldn't tell. But every time they touched, a spark flitted through his body in an exhilarating way. It was magical. The stallion didn't want her as a friend, did he?
No, friendship just wouldn't be enough. But this was a fact Note could not come to accept, or reveal to anyone just yet. Especially Sabel. She would give him hell about it.
And here Note decided to apply his new 'do what's sufficient for the situation' principle. "I believe we should be friends," a boyish smile appeared upon Note's ashen lips as he spoke, all attention focused upon Cheveyo as his sharp green eyes brightened.
"Friendship is achieved when a pair of beings know each other fairly well and enjoy to be in the their company, right? We've got the 'enjoyable company' part down, but we don't know each other that very well," Note pointed out. It felt strange to talk so much. This was the most chatting he had done in almost a year. His eyes slipped to Cheveyo's painted handprints, the arrows upon her hooves and the one that marked her leg, the circles around her nose, and eyes. He decided to start with those.
"What do your marks mean? How did they get there?" Note questioned, flicking his tail in anticipation. The stallion was genuinely curious for once in his life. A new feeling, yes, but he quite liked it.

Note & Sabel

@[Cheveyo]

--

'What. Is. Happening.'
The thought echoed through Sabel's head as she felt the churning emotions boiling inside of Note, swelling and receding with every word Cheveyo spoke. She had been with the stallion for a year, but she had never known him to feel anything like this. Nothing came close to comparing to this.
The lynx had been with the stallion through the birth of his own daughter, yet the emotions he got from that were nothing like this. For a moment, Sabel considered the possibility of love. Maybe it was love. Unfortunately, she wasn't well acquainted with that particular subject. Even her own mother hadn't loved her. The cat had stalked off, leaving Sabel to die in the midst of Frostfall.
The cat wasn't sure she even loved Note. The relationship she shared with the stallion was based more upon dependency than love. But she had felt every emotion Note had ever felt. She could name off each one, but none of seemed to be on the basis of love. Perhaps that would change. This could be love. If not, this was surely the closest thing the cat would be able to compare to love; being the primal creature she was.
But then Sabel felt a pain from her bonded. This one she knew all too well. It was pain, sadness - anguish at most.
Note lifted his wings, looking at his side as Cheveyo spoke of Kwahu. His sharp green eyes found his scar, still gnarled and horrendous as it had always been. He knew Cheveyo was deeply saddened by the red hand that marked her side; he almost felt a similar way about his scar. Not quite. The torment he felt from the scar was brought on by a death as well, although it was not from someone he loved, but from someone he hated. It was weighed heavy with guilt and sadness all the same, though the emotions were incredibly selfish. Note did not feel sorry for the stallion he had so ruthlessly murdered, but just regretted the way he dealt with the situation.
As Cheveyo continued to talk, Note began to feel guilty for asking a question that treaded such thin ground, but he did not regret it. In a way, it helped him understand Cheveyo a step further. He understood the way she felt. This strengthens friendships, right? Anything to understand the other being helps the friendship, yes? Well, it was the best tactic Note could think of. Therefor he would be using it.
The stallion turned his head back to the mare, locking eyes with her before moving his muzzle to her shoulder, to the red hand print. His body ignited at the touch, feeling almost numb with the sizzling sensation. He brushed his lips over the marking, an overwhelming sense of grief passing through his body when he realized what he was doing. This mark was just too special for someone such as himself to be fiddling with so intimately. The stallion moved his touch to the mare's neck, burying his muzzle in her soft, flaxen locks, his sharp green gaze finding hers once more. It was his turn to be apologetic.
"I'm so sorry..." Note's voice was almost a whisper. His lips were tingling, as was the rest of his body that was touching Cheveyo's, though this spark he craved for and now felt thanks to the painted mare he had come to admire so much didn't help the grief he felt for her. He knew how it was to lose a loved one. They were hard to go through, but with time and other friendships, losses are possible to get over. Though they are not forgettable.

Note & Sabel

@[Cheveyo]

--

'Shit.'
It wasn't supposed to happen like this. An action brought out of abhorrence and lust had morphed into a conflicting situation dominated by Note's own culpability. He hadn't meant for Cheveyo to get emotional at all. The stallion was awful at helping others cope with their personal affairs. He would grudgingly oblige to doing so, but would most likely only make the circumstances worse. His conflicted emotions were but a side effect of this. Whatever the stallion happened to galavant into would be thoroughly screwed up by the time he was done with it. Perhaps he was just an unlucky fellow. Or the unlucky fellows found their way to him, as if they were companions of impending doom.
Either way, it didn't change the situation. Cheveyo was pulling him close, very close. With any other horse this would be far too close for comfort, but with this mare it seemed...natural.
In that moment, Note realized how false he had lived his life. He had trotted after fake love, yearning for a chance to be normal all these years. Then Cheveyo had come in. She was the most unnatural being there was - yet the stallion found her the easiest to be in the company of. How ironic.
The stallion draped his neck over her own withers, savoring the feeling of their bodies being ever so close. They couldn't be just friends. But it was too soon to be anything more. Or was it?
Gods, he didn't know. But he couldn't confess his feelings for her when he didn't quite understand them himself. He thought he understood his feelings for Sohalia but that was not so. Then, in the past, when the pair had been labeled as mates, the stallion ran from having to deal with her. Even now, he felt both love and resentment for the mare. Love for her braveness, resentment for her running out on him to flounce around with another stallion. Would Cheveyo do that?
Note softly sighed, remembered his new 'live in the moment' philosophy and pulled the mare a little bit closer, moving into the touch. It was intimate, yet gentle. He liked it, but wanted more. More would be too much to ask for at the moment, though.
The stallion picked his head up a bit, glancing at the mare's flaxen locks, his breath utterly taken away by the contact they had shared. He smiled a bit, a soft laugh coming from his ashen lips. This was an unusual encounter, but he found himself wanting to give anything to just stay in this moment.
Sabel was a different story. The one time she had had Note all to herself, she was forced into sharing him again. She was actually connecting with him, learning things about the stallion she had never known and now there was someone else...it just wasn't fair to her. Whatever version of fair she had contemplated was nothing like this. The cat shot a sightless glare at Cheveyo from her position on her bonded's rump. She dug her claws into Note's skin, but not hard enough to cause him pain. Just enough to relay her displeasure.
The lanky lynx whirled around once Note had moved into their touch. She leapt off his rump, landing with a soft thud in the sand. She wandered to the side of the cave, her pelt brushing the cave wall. He wouldn't even notice her departure. He was far too caught up in the other mare. He's always falling all over the place for someone else. It's like she's never enough...if all Note wanted was company, why was she not an option? The cat would die for him. She would die a slow, painful death for him.
And he wouldn't even notice her leave his hugging spree.
Note did notice, but he ignored her all the same. He understood Sabel perfectly, but this was what she signed up for when they bonded.
"How many horses have you touched like this, Cheveyo?" Note asked, diverting his attention as far away from Sabel as possible. It was a personal question to be asking of Cheveyo, maybe even too personal, but it was genuine. He had only touched one other mare like this. One.
That made Cheveyo pretty special. But Note wasn't sure if he was quite as remarkable to her. Therefor, he needed an answer.

Note & Sabel

@[Cheveyo]

--

Distorted sniffles came from Cheveyo's direction, causing Note's heart to ache in a way he was unfamiliar with. Yet, in a twisted way, he wanted her to cry into his touch. Not to force anymore pain unto the mare, he certainly did not want that, but he wanted to comfort her. Be there for her. Wipe her cheek with his muzzle and say, "My love, don't cry when there is so much to smile unto." The words threatened to actually break the barrier of his lips, but they never came. No matter how much Note found himself adoring the painted mare, he still felt it too soon. This was only their second meeting. And he silently prayed it to be the second of many more.
As his chosen words left his lips, Cheveyo's pink gaze came to meet his. Her eyes were strange, but he liked them. He liked strange. In all honesty, Note was sick of the same old gray coats. The bays. The chestnuts. As well as the other shades of banausic, unmarked equines who roam the land as if they're top dog in this wolf pack.
Cheveyo lightly shook her head, meaning one thing.
"None."
It wasn't relief that washed upon the stallion as he heard the word, but more so caused his curiosity to pique even further, an endless stream of 'Why?'s ebbing within his skull. Why did she feel the need to touch him, then? Why hadn't she found anyone else to touch so intimately? Was she scared? If so, then why? Did she just not feel the need to be close to others? If so, then why? Why? WHY? WHY HIM? The thoughts roared in his mind, though they didn't seem like his own. He had never felt such an intense anger towards anyone, ever. Note didn't hold grudges like that.
'Oh, Gods,' Note thought, wallowing in his own despair at the realization. Sabel's emotions were influencing his thoughts, no doubt. 'Sabel, please, you got along fine with Soh,' The bay plead, placing his head back upon Cheveyo's withers to hide whatever emotions flashed upon his features. 'I don't like thieves,' came a quiet hiss within his mind. As sad as it was, Sabel was right about the thief part. In the lynx's mind, she had conjured a world of just herself and Note. Within this world, she was being robbed of the only thing to ever bring her happiness which was her bonded, the dusty bay stallion known as Note. The one to commit such a terrible crime was Miss Cheveyo.
But it wasn't like that. He was the one stealing himself away from the cat. Note shut his eyes, a light sigh falling from his lungs, too enamored with the spectacular mare before him to get caught up in such a childish argument over himself of all things.
"You?"
Well, now, that's a touchy subject. Note began to regret ever asking the mare the question, but he wanted the answer. He wanted to know what he meant to her, therefor, he found out. It was incredible to know how seemingly special he was to her, as she was almost the same to him. Note had saved himself for someone truly meaningful - Sohalia. He thought she was meaningful at the time, at least. But he didn't regret anything of his past, oh no. There was no use in doing that, especially since she had gifted him with Skysong. Although he knew not where the filly was today.
"One," Note whispered the forlorn word, the speech barely audible. He was becoming increasingly conflicted regarding the subject. Yet it only made him pull the mare closer to his body, his skin sizzling at the contact. Would it be too much to ask to stay here forever? He wished it wouldn't, but knew all well the ending of this storybook tale.

Note & Sabel

@[Cheveyo]

--

A weight settled upon Note's chest, memories of his brief, but passionate, romance with Sohalia coming back to him.
Oddly enough, he didn't care to remember them. Normally they would force him into a state of anguish that the stallion couldn't handle, but now they were just figments of a past life. He had a new life to collect. Why not start with Cheveyo?
The stallion was pulled from his thoughts not long after they had begun by none other than the painted mare embracing his slender body. It wasn't what she was saying, Cheveyo was quiet for now, but what she was doing. Her lips softly massaged the joint connecting his wings to his body. Such a feeling of pleasure was foreign to the stallion, for it didn't make him awkward or out of place at all. The whole situation just felt unexplainably natural.
It made his word increasingly difficult say as well as admit. She was just that enthralling, not to mention innocent, making this particular truth almost shameful to own up to. But it would be the best to be honest. If Skysong showed up one day while he was with Cheveyo and greeted him by saying, "Father, it's been so long, I've missed you so much! How's Sohalia?" It would be a bit awkward (well, more awkward) if Cheveyo was unaware of his previous afflictions. Even worse if he had lied.
Her next words were filled with a sadness, causing Note's stomach to churn. It wasn't as if that relationship meant anything to him now. "Did you love her?"
That was a difficult question to answer as well. He did. At the time, yes. Or did he? Their love had been more of an arrangement. Their friends had essentially played dollhouse with them ('Okay, Note here, Sohalia here, now kiss). The memories were muddled, corrupted by time. Was he truly in love or just caught in the moment and swayed by a delusional fantasy of a picture perfect family for himself? It was terrifying, really, that the stallion wasn't sure.
"I don't know," Note sighed, the words slow and broken, his eyes opening to reveal a sharp green gaze filled to the brim with agony. "I might've thought I did at the time, I can't even remember," he stated.
The thing was, their relationship had resulted in a child. Two, actually, one of which was born without life. Children were a sign of unity where Note was from. They were united then, but that didn't make whatever feelings between them love, right? No? Yes?
Why did emotions have to be so confusing?