For a moment, the girl hand an inkling of a thought- just the briefest hint of wondering if she should feel more out of place standing before a god, speaking to him as though he was another citizen of the land. And though she revered them all, respected all four with every ounce she could muster, she never did feel out of place before them. Perhaps it was childlike innocence that allowed her this trait, but she did not know or question what the real answer was.

As the others shared all their answers, some agreeing with her and others having other thoughts, she smiled pleasantly and hummed easily enough. It was nice to get out into the open air again, to gather with strangers away from the confines of the dark caves, and no matter the affiliations that these friends would take up, the queen was glad to have met them at all. But it seemed that the Sun Lord was not done with them yet. For a moment, the girl felt the tiniest shred of anger well up within her- the darkness had come because of the god's negligence? She had attacked and wanted to murder her friends because he had forgotten to open his eyes? And yet, anger was not the girl's style and she could not maintain it for long. With a long sigh, it fled from her chest and she was left to ponder a question she hardly knew how to answer. What would she do differently.

So often, the girl spoke without thinking, just rattling off whatever nonsense came into her head without any consideration of what it was. But here and now, she didn't find any words coming. What would she have done differently? What could she have done differently? After all, she couldn't have avoided being a wraith. She couldn't have avoided her actions as a wraith, her mind being completely taken over. That left after being a wraith. What had she done? She'd sulked, scared and afraid in the caverns while her king had braved the darkness to rescue fallen friends. And it suddenly occurred to her, and made her sad to think, that she should have been out there with him. “I would have helped Kaj find our friends, to make them healthy again. I hid in the caves because I was afraid. But I was afraid of the caves too and I didn't know what to do.”

It always hurt to admit her faults, even though she was reasonably aware of them. But surely the Sun Lord already knew she was a coward. “I would have tried harder to be less afraid and to lead instead of to hide.” In the end, her words no longer held that dancing quality they so often did. It made her sad to think of what dangers she had allowed Kaj to fly into without ever demanding he let her follow. Was she really worthy of his valor?


OOC| My absence thread says I am absent, but that starts tomorrow, I just put it up tonight so I wouldn't have to worry about it tomorrow.