Through the narrow window of a dwindling consciousness, I focused my attention on the healer. She proved quite thorough, though stubborn – I knew better than anyone my own state! Were I more generously disposed, I might have scolded her, but then I would never have needed her help, anyway. Brought low, instead, I merely stood and awaited some action. The small herd gathered around me existed solely in periphery; only where I leaned against the spotted stallion, did I notice him at all. Though smaller than myself, he at least proved a reliable anchor.

Resplendence drew away at last, though only a small distance. I recognized the growing look of concentration on her face: the way the eyes stared far away, the tension of the muscles given entirely to something other than physical effort. With interest, I pulled my head head up, a few hair’s width higher than before. And then darkness – pure, ephemeral wisps of shadows – gathered around me. It was her doing, of course, and it recalled a certain other power I had once used, but a tension of fear ran bright in the back of my mind. Wasted muscle drew taut beneath my own hide; were I hale enough to move, I might have, but my hooves only twisted, clumsily, without the strength to lift. And as the magic took effect, I realized with certainty my instinct ran in error; a feeling like the warmth of soothing flame began from somewhere deep within my chest, not fire but cleansing, winding outward. A sudden jerk, and my body shuddered as I stepped back, of my own strength, and deeply inhaled.

A last, lingering cough shook loose what evil remained. Neck flung out, I shook out months of dust and old debris from my filthy hide. Thick masses of mane slid forward to cover my face; thrown back with irritation, they soon cleared to reveal the mare, her condition deteriorated. I blinked, curiosity overtaking the brief – very brief – surge of guilt. Was that, then, how it worked? The magic took from her and gave to others? I counted myself grateful to be under the eye of so dedicated a healer, though I wondered, despite my sudden recovery, about the efficacy of such a spell. Another snort, and I swung around to more properly face her. My eyes fell on the others as I moved, acknowledging silently. What could I say? They had me thoroughly disadvantaged – surrounded and known to them, yet beholden myself to ignorance. A winged mare had joined them at some point; I stared in her direction longer than the others, recalling similar creatures of my acquaintance.

Gone, now.

My attention returned to Resplendence once more as she addressed me. Her explanation drew my ears up, and I wondered at her selflessness – it seemed not entirely a boon. Yet I had manners, at least, to cover my private thoughts. Slowly I inclined my head; the world remained so steady, so reliable, the illness felt almost a dream – almost. It was rendered painfully real by the strange forest, the eyes of unknown creatures all around me. Only Evangeline – my eyes twitched, nervously, to catch sight of her orange hide – remained a point of familiarity. And Evangeline! I bit back one of a thousand questions I had for her, for the healer, for the others. All must wait. I had learned patience long ago, but cognizant once more, I found my discipline sorely tested in exercise.

”Thank you.” I forced out less interesting words instead. ”You are truly gifted, and for that I am grateful. It has been a long time since I came across one of your caliber, Resplendence.” Unless I counted myself, but as I was always in my own company, the point seemed invalid. I paused to take another deep breath, measuring the capacity of my ravaged chest. It was not perfect; some ache remained, very distantly, and I wondered if some damage had been done, deep within, that amounted to scar tissue – healed and yet defective, and thus beyond the reach of all but time. Or perhaps the body was merely adjusting to the sudden removal of so antagonistic an illness… I dared not think on it too long, for fear of appearing forgetful, and so I glanced at the others, still unnerved by their eyes. I had, until a short time ago, no intention of settling anywhere, in any capacity. Evangeline’s presence, however, had drastically altered everything.

”My name is Ruske,” I said at last, to buy time. My tail twitched, unhappily, behind me – a nervous tic I hoped they managed to miss, ignore, or forgive. ”I am – acquainted with Evangeline,” a rough gesture in her direction. Further explanation felt beyond my fraying nerves. ”I would prefer to remain in her home, if your leads do not object. I have been a healer in the past, and a teacher as well. I would do what I can for your herd, as I have for others that held my allegiance. And… it seems I am in debt to you, anyway – to Resplendence, at least. I would be remiss if I did not attempt to repay you.” As to who had the authority to grant my request – perhaps none of them did. A sobering thought; I did not wish to beg again for a different audience. Yet I supposed one of them might, and pinned my hope on that – I was not worthless, at least, as had been my younger self. And if I appeared now tarnished with sin, perhaps I could offer repentance, in the name of a new start. Again and again I managed to escape death; I could, at least, do my very best to stop inviting it in.