the flame child & the homeless girl

[PRIVATE] the flame child & the homeless girl

Abishia Posts: 225

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Mare :: Equine :: 16 HH :: 5 years ~ Birdsong Buff: NOVICE

Wild.

04-01-2014, 10:11 PM

Her gaze darkened, dropping to the snowy ground and staying there. Shoulders drooping, and ears laid delicately against the back of her skull.

The rhythmic flow of tears against snow beat in her harks, making her shake her head, but tiredly, slowly. He had not fallen for the mask. The one that everyone had come to believe was the real Abishia. Not even Elsa knew the real her. It was all an act, her pretending that she was okay - trying to convince herself more than the others. She was thankful for someone to know the real Abishia, to notice the change, but yet not see the heart ache. Her bodice convulsed as a sob shook her lean frame, almost making her fall to her small, weak knees. The tips of her harks growing hot, her cheeks raging with the heat of embarrassment, she could hardly stay in place, wanting to flee, but knowing that she musn't run from her problems - especially when it had to do with Azarel. She didn't dare to look up, but tried to speak, only the beginning of the word 'I' before she stopped herself. Another sob racked her, but this time she lurched forward, hoping Aza would support her. She glanced up to him, sorrow in her eyes and her cheeks wet with the constant roll of tears. It seemed that her heart jumped into her throat, clogging her vocals, the red muscle beat so loudly she was scared he may hear it. What have I done? Can't I ever keep anyone by my side? Or am I as useless and stupid as they think? Her gaze fell to the ground once again. She wanted to embrace him, run with him, take him places with her, but the fear of driving him away from her made her take a few steady steps backwards. But then she raised her head slightly, forcing herself to meet his gaze, that beautiful gaze that she couldn't get enough
of.

Waves of doubt crashed into her; much like the waves that flowed over her small hooves that night on the beach, but this day, with much more force and misleading whispers. Her own thoughts - but wait... Are they even hers? That voice in her head... Doesn't resemble the fae's voice, or personality... Poor soul. Doesn't know hallucination from reality. Well, they are tearing her apart. Maybe it's the spirits who used to follow her, maybe she is just insane. That's for you to decide. But anyway, being as gullible as she is, Abi is tempted to give in to them, keep her feelings bottled up forever. But no, for once she stands up for herself internally, but at the same time gives in externally.

She shifts her front hooves nervously, then slowly returns her ears to their comfortable place, not pinned. She gives a slight flick to her dished dome, white lobes flopping and
her long luscious forelock falling behind her right ear beautifully. Taking her deep breath, she meets her stare with his, trying to be bold, but the weakness and pain is obviously portrayed
on her series of intricate face features. "Azarel... I'm sorry. You see, I've been putting up this front, hoping no one would notice my weaknesses. "
She glanced down, panicking, not sure if staying true with the real girl inside was something she really wanted to do. But she forced her gaze from the ground again, glancing around the meadow before
returning her orbs to his. "Don't get me wrong though Aza, I am just afraid. I can't say that what I have been through is worse, for things of such sorrow should be of no competition, nor that my experiences are just as bad, but I am not as strong as you are. I'm well... Weak. I have no one anymore, like you. I've been doing this for awhile now... Ever since we lost touch, the losses began. But it hurt even more, not being able to see you bathed in moonlight, playing in the waves." A small smirk dared to curl her lips, but soon faded as she took a deep breath and cocked her hind left leg. Here comes the hurt. "It began with my first memories... Now please, I beg you, don't think I'm crazy. Well, I've always had spirits of my loved ones kinda follow me around I guess. They used to guide my hooves, but I didn't really listen to them for who knows why. But that's just the start of it. Some became dark, others stayed light. Constantly tearing me in opposite ways. Then I met you, everything got a bit better for that night, but after it... Well that's when it all began. A few moons later, my mother Harmony and I where strolling through the World's Edge when screams reached out earshot. Of course, we ran to see what's wrong. Only to watch in horror as my very close friend and family member, Antheia, throw herself over the edge of the cliff and fall to her death."She paused, taking several deep breaths to try contain the tears as yet again the images of Antheia's body crashing into the rocky sea and plummet into nothingness, rang through her mind again. "After that, Antheia joined the spirits that followed me, as well as a red bird. Soon after, mother wasn't the same. She became crazy, then left for awhile. When I went to find her outside of Helovia, I came to with her horrible fate. Spotting her across the frozen pond, I called to her, grateful to see my long lost mother. But as she turned and began to ran, the cracking of the ice made me regret. It broke into a large hole, my mother falling in and freezing to death in the chilly waters as I watched, yet again, helplessly."

I have not shared this information to anyone in so long. I miss Harmony, Antheia, Castiel, hell! Where was that stallion?! I miss them all, and now here I am pouring out my feelings to the only other horse I have close to me, or at least I hope he still thinks of me that way. Azarel is so important to me, I could never bear seeing him run off with another mare, or even run off alone. I'm selfish dammit. I want him all for me. ME! For once Gods, give me something that I can keep, and not loose in tragedy!

She shook her head slightly. "The spirits turned evil then. They tried to take me over and use them for their vicious ways. Then the darkness came, and I was a lost soul... Possessed by who knows what, and why? I have no idea. But they are gone now... I've learned a lot from all that has happened. Including learning why I should keep on the happy mask, pretend like everything is okay so the real me can't show, and I won't get too attached. " She shrugged slightly, her eyes still clouded with shame, guilt, sorrow, and the fire of love for the Stallion before her. Her dual colored pools lingered over him, taking in his markings, flowing hair, strong muscles... Even though he looked tired and beat down, he was still strikingly handsome. No doubt Abishia wanted to be with him, but she just didn't know how to show her true feelings anymore. Physically tired from all the explaining, she extended a shaky muzzle, bumping it against Aza's for a third time, but this time the spark that bounded into her and made butterflies leap and bump against the sides of her stomach were real, true, heartfelt.

"I promise to never pretend again. I will always be true to you Azarel. You have a special place in my heart. " She then straightened up, looked around the snow
covered fields, then smiled slyly at the handsome colt.
"Now, let's move on?" She offered a playful wink, then let a giggle explode from her maw.
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@[Azarel]
{{ MEEP! These two make me want to write for days! You write Aza so great!! xD }}