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My slow pace gives me a moment to catch my breath after a long time trotting. My added weight doesn't help me at all. Actually, it does the opposite. I have to duck away from branches in fear that they will stab my belly and injure whatever is inside. Perhaps this is why I keep my wings folded at my sides. I don't think Draeseong even realizes how fat I am. I'm either fat and pregnant, having twins, or having a really big baby. Honestly, I hope it's the first option. I can loose weight no problem, but if I have a big baby that grows up and decides to hurt me for being a bad mother (which I fear I will be), I will have a big horse to run from, not a petite one.
Shilva swats me with the end of her tail, shaking my worries out of my head, momentarily. Draeseong is speaking and I wouldn't have heard him if she hadn't knocked me out of my deep thinking. ""My dear, I couldn't help but notice you seem slightly troubled. Perhaps I misread your expression? Or would you like to talk about it? I understand if you wish not to, of course."" I can't help, but smile a beautiful white smile at him. This stallion is genuinely sweet. I'm very glad I found him and not some rude and snide horse, or worse-- a racist horse.
"Oh dear, it's quite a story. I will tell you the shortened version. If you care to hear the full story, we can talk in private." The shimmering image of Brisa pops into my mind. Where is that mare? It's been like an entire five minutes. Which is actually a lot of time. Maybe we should have waited for her. "Not long ago, I was... how do you put it... serviced? Yea, serviced by nor one, but two stallions. Both seemed to be in a haze, as they had drank some foul smelling liquid. With their judgement clouded, they made their move on me." I pause, my smile weakening and fading. I look at the ground and ahead, but avoid eye contact. "I'm pregnant, but with no idea who the father is. This is a rough story already, but to add to it, I'm only two years old." I sigh and bob my head side to side, almost scoldingly at myself. "The rest of the story is quite interesting, if you care to hear at a later time."
Then, I hear Brisa join us. I feel very shy, very vulnerable. I avoid eye contact with the both of them. Even without looking at them directly, I see him stare at her for a few seconds through my peripheral vision. "Dang, boy. You work faster then me." I shoot him a glance for a mere second before halting. He gets the ladies faster then I get the gentlemen. "We'll wait here, perhaps the higher ranked will walk into us, instead of us walking past them and missing them." I turn so I am facing the both of them.
My fave is blank, maybe a mirror to whatever they wanted to see. I'm not going to pretend to be happy right now, when I'm clearly not. Deep inside of me, worry, doubt, fear, and concern are all etched into me. There is only slight happiness, and that is because I have this fabulous place to call my home.
Walk walk walk walk walk
talk talk talk talk
ooc:; @[Draeseong] @[Brisa]
oh, tell me, what's the matter?</style> |
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