| Together. It’s funny how the word makes her feel, for as soon as he says it something in her recoils. It is as if a rubber band has been snapped on her heart—something about the word stings deep within, and maybe it is because for a while now she has known that it is not true. But it is not until she feels how foreign it is to fit into the curve of his neck instead of being able to fit perfectly under his wing, not until she senses how strange it is that she is able to look him in the eye instead of looking up at him, not until she sees this odd little squirrel-creature nestled in his mane and remembers that it is only one of the many new pets and ladies and ranks that her brother has acquired whilst settling into his new life instead of looking for her that the realization overwhelms her: they are not together, nor have they been in a long time. Overcome with emotion, the princess begins to cry. Her tears are of jealousy, of loneliness, and of an anger that startles even the girl herself. Despite everything she has experienced in her young life, Nasreen has never felt so many emotions with such intensity. Not their flight from the kingdom and the loss of her family, not Amaya’s death, not even her terror in the caves had raised conflicting feelings like this. She was used to feeling one thing at a time, and it was usually limited to curiosity, happiness, sadness, fear, and excitement. The anger is foreign—oh, she had experienced anger before at petty things, but never before had she been so angry at her brother. The feeling unnerves her, and Nasreen cries harder.
To Quilyan, it may appear as if she is merely overflowing with joy and relief at seeing him again, and she half hopes that he will think that. This feeling is so new that she does not know how to process it, much less how to approach him about it (and is that even her place? she wonders). And though she is angry at him for leaving her in favor of his new life, she still craves his attention and affection, still yearns for the time when he could tell her that everything would be all right and it would be. She is tempted to bury her duo-tone face in his strong shoulder and let the tears flow as she continues to sob, but given her newly-realized mixed feelings towards him, it doesn’t seem quite right. So she holds her head slightly away from his withers as she cries, taking minimal comfort in the nearness of her only remaining family member. What else is she to do?
But her sobs have gone too long without an explanation—for once, the chatterbox has fallen silent save for the sounds of her snuffling, and she knows that though Quilly might not pay much attention to her, even he will know that her behavior is out of the ordinary. Slowly, Nasreen forces herself to swallow her tears and face her brother. No longer can she meet his eyes, and her head is low as she studies the ground. “I…” she begins, hiccupping on a fresh batch of tears that threatens to brim over, “I…” Nasreen steadies herself as best as she knows how, staring fixedly at a flower. “I just feel like sometimes we…aren’t.” Aren’t together that is, but she can’t bring herself to finish the sentence. Afraid that she will start bawling again, she decides to leave it at that before she tells him-- “It’s just that sometimes, I feel like I don’t know who you are anymore.” The words have left her mouth before she realizes that she has spoken aloud; she has been so focused on retaining her tears that her voice has slipped out of her control. She gasps at her own insolence, half expecting him to strike her, surely as an elder would have had she shown that disrespect back in Th’orqui. “I’m sorry, Quilly! I didn’t mean--!” The apologies bubble forth from her mouth as she begins to back away, ready to turn tail and flee.
What has she done?
OOC: Poor Quil gets to experience teenage Nasreen Cx
@[Quilyan]
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