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Elsa
Realism [-1]
In your first post you say that Elsa turned to her left, exposing her right side to attack. It should be her left side that she exposed further to Rostislav's attack. With this being said I am unsure how she took a hit to her right instead of her left. However, you did a good job describing the pain that she felt from the attack. You go on, later, to say Elsa is larger than Rostislav. Elsa is a Quarter Horse and Rostislav is a Soviet Heavy Draft. Build wise Rosti is the larger of the pair, Elsa is the taller one. You have Elsa ram her chest into Rostislav but there is no mention of how the hit affects her. I believe she should have felt some pain from it. Think about when you ram something with your shoulder. Don't you feel something? The same goes for the chunk of hair that Rosti pulled out. You say Elsa felt nothing where the hair was pulled out. She should have at least felt some mild discomfort. You did, however, say that she felt pain in her neck from her head being yanked to the side. You also have an instance of powerplay. "As she hoped her body rammed into his right shoulder, she desperately began to snap her teeth over his bare, brown back." You do say that she hoped to ram her body into his shoulder, but you also say that she snapped her teeth over his back like she had already hit him. You could have said "She hoped her body rammed into his right shoulder so she could aim desperate bites at his bare back." I liked your choice of a hoof attack at Rosti's head when it was lowered.

Emotion [+1]
In your first post I can see Elsa beginning to realize what she's gotten herself into with a fight with Rosti. As the spar goes on I can feel how desperate she is for acknowledgement and love. She also thinks very highly of herself and her beauty. With this said, I think that you could have developed more emotion when Rostislav ripped out a chunk of her mane.

Prose [+3]
You only had a few small mistakes, but nothing really noteworthy. Try to proof read your posts to avoid mistakes like using 'inn' instead of 'in' and extra 'than's that didn't need to be used.
"Her neck was inn pain, and it was more than annoying than anything she had ever felt."

Readability [+3]
Your posts were easy to read and flowed nicely.
"She wouldn’t succumb to petty pains, she was the dominatrix, and she would dominate." - I loved this

Finally tally: ----- 59.5 HP


Rostislav
Realism [+1]
Rostislav realizes that his vodka is a hinderance and doesn't aid in his ability to fight so he leaves it behind with Damaris. I liked that he took into consideration how young she is and was concerned for her wellbeing. I liked his first choice of using his horns to attack, but the way it was worded was slightly confusing. You say Rosti launched himself at Elsa. Was he running at her? If you're running at her wouldn't you pass by her because Rosti's size would prevent him from stopping very quickly, I believe. There is also no mention of Rosti stopping until you say that he is backing away with his head down, so this lead me to believe that he attacked her side and continued past her. If I were you I would have followed through with a cowkick at Elsa as I passed by. Later in the fight you say that Rostislav can feel his companion's concern and I did find it realistic that he would be distracted by it. I do not believe that a horse's teeth are sharp enough to rip a chunk of flesh, but you do a good job of describing the pain. The pain from the bite on his ear. Ouch, it made me hurt. I probably would have tried to stab her, too, to get free. Even though I am not a fan of falling over (at all, and I never recommend it) I can see how Elsa hitting Rosti in the chest would knock him off balance and make him fall.

Emotion [+2]
I loved that Rostislav started out the fight wanting to prove himself to his bonded and himself. There was a constant undercurrent of emotion throughout your posts, but there were moments stood out more than others. His desperation to get Elsa off of him when she bit his withers made me actually want to jump in and help him. The rage he felt when she bit his ear and the way he used his horns to desperately stab at her made me feel bed for him. I also loved his confusion about how he managed to hit himself in his last post. Good job!

Prose [+3]
I didn't catch much in the way of grammar or spelling issues. Some of your sentences, though, did feel a bit choppy and rushed.

Readability [+2]
I enjoy reading Rostislav a lot because of the comments he makes about things in his posts. I really enjoyed his comparison of Aurelia and Elsa and their two different types of crazy. Overall your posts were easy to read, but the choppy sentences affected the flow for me.

Finally tally: ----- 37 HP