I would've fallen asleep. I could've fallen asleep, if not the sound of splashing water had reached my ears and made me look up. I should've fallen asleep instead of looking up, because what my blue orbs saw made me gasp quietly. Illusions. That's what this had to be. A quiet ghost of one whom I had respected, been so loyal that it could be called love, walked against the water in the quiet Thistle River. Dezba had fallen asleep, but I decided to let her be and rustled away from her so that I could stand up without waking her. Slowly, I rose my scarred head and looked at the spotted stallion, feeling the fear grasp onto me. Was I really afraid of him? No. I was afraid of what he could do. I shook my head violently before I slowly slowly walked closer to him, observing him. "Mauja..." Why did I speak? I stopped, my front leg mid-air, and looked at him.

Oh, I had been so loyal to him. So close. Yet... "It's been a while," I whispered, letting my gaze lock itself on him. I did not care about his birds - he had two now? -, only about him. The white and black stallion with the ice horn whom had been my King, if only for a season. I... I wanted to scream out loud because I had done so much wrong for so many wrong reasons. I took a step back and closed my eyes hard, flicking my ears back so that they laid close to the three feathers woven into my mane. Azzaron, Mauja. Always those two - it had always been them.

I had a new second choice now though. Mauja... And my family. My son, my daughter, my unborn childe who was growing inside of me and my Desired. Those were my family and the only ones I would ever choose. But Mauja, he made it so hard for me to actually decide. I opened my eyes again and stepped closer to him until my hooves almost were in the water. "I... Uhm.." I cleared my throat and looked away. "How... Are you?" I was such an idiot. Last time we had met, I had lashed out at him until Circuta had to step in between, and now I asked how he was. I should just turn around now and forget this ever happened. Why did I step closer to him?

Perhaps I was just idiotic enough to do this.
I turned my head to him again and glanced at him from under my black forelock. Why did I do this? "Mauja, I'm going to be honest with you." That's a first. "I... I regret everything." Those three words were but a mumble, barely loud enough to hear. I looked away again. I'm a fucking moron. "Things... have changed. I'm... Ugh, I'm sick of not being able to speak correctly around you. I have fucking missed you, alright? I hate you like nothing else, but I've missed you." There. Now he could laugh at me and this would all be over.

"Talking"
Delinne's thoughts
Dezba's thoughts

ooc // -
word count // 517
tags // -