Aurelia
Keep your head up, keep your heart strong.

"aurelia talk"
This shouldn't be a surprise, but Mauja doesn't react the way I think he would. His happiness dicintigrates, and along with that, the butterflies in my stomach set in. His gaze makes me fidget and makes my gaze drop to the ground-- again. My wings unfold somewhat. They hand loosely at my sides. Each feather glitters brilliantly under the moon. After I take a step back, the entire mood of our conversation changes. "What's going on in your mind?" My eyes trace their way back up to his ice eyes. "I could ask you the same thing, Ironclad." My voice is low, almost cold. Maybe I should be just like Mauja-- distant, emotionless, and cold. That is what he is, right? His eyes reflect his innermost spark of brilliance. His dark pupils may seem empty and guarded from emotion, but if I look closely, sometimes I see something in them. That isn't just in my mind, right?

My eyes aren't like ice. They are not a hard, cold, icy. My eyes.... they burn with fire; heat. I show a lot of emotion with my eyes. The unfortunate part is that my emotions are raw, uncut. Everything I feel is real. My eyes conceal a glow of mischief that makes me do outrageous things. This is perhaps one emotion I want to hide. Mischief.... I don't want to be the Mischevious. I want to be something more memorable. Everywhere I go, I leave scars, though. Why can't I leave hope and love? Why do I only leave scars? It sucks being me. It really does.

After a period of silence, my voice erupts back into the air. I know Mauja probably won't understand what I'm going to say, but it's worth a try. "I can tell you what happens in my head, but I don't think you'll understand. I think this because my thoughts are everywhere. Okay, so I was like.... a yearling, I believe, when I came here, it was cold and I was starving and then a mare named Africa found me. At the time, she was a citizen of the Dragon's Throat. I joined that herd, and Frica became something like a sister to me. She got the position I really wanted, and I knew she'd be good at it. She'd be better than I could be. So, after a little while, I ventured to the north." My voice starts to become more hesitant as I start talking about the North and the unicorns (that I believe may be racist). "I was there for five minutes before being attacked by a unicorn. In all honesty, he didn't make much sense. He called me a temptress and attempted to rip my wings off." I lift up my wing and a pink scar become visible. The scar is large and is positioned under the spot where my wing connects the my body. "The Earth God healed me, and that was the last time I saw Africa before leaving the Dragon's Throat. Soon after that, I tried joining the Windtossed Foothills. Of course, no one really invited me into the herd, so I stayed an outcast. Then I became a wraith after a shadow devoured me. I looked really cool, at least. I grew these spikes down my spine and I got bat wings. Oh! I also had really pretty black hair. While a wraith I infected a lot of horses. Then Gaucho and other horses tried to get me to go to the caves and get healed..." Of course, I think I'll leave out my horrendous attempt at stealing Mauja's item.... And all my other attempts at stealing that failed. "I ended up at the water getting healed anyways, then I found Shilva's egg... oh, wait. You don't know Shilva, right? She's my companion. I left her over there on dry land, because she didn't want to come to the salty ocean." I gesture with my head over in the general direction of the woods. My voice sounds smoother now, more confident. I honestly have no idea why I tell him all of this, but I do. I guess it's some sort of lead-up to why I'm thought of as crazy. "Anyways, two drunk horses mounted me and I had twins, each with a different father. And both fathers suck at trying to be fathers, and they hide their faces, probably ashamed they laid me, the crazy one. My children are Faeanne and Ryuu, both amazing kiddies. But I was only two upon having them, and I have absolutely no idea where they are now. So, I'm also a terrible mom. Good thing you didn't mount me, right?" My honesty is brutal, and I hope he's starting to see that Helovia has gradually made me insane. I notice now that my bad memories outweight my good memories... which sucks, but I can't change what I've done. "Later, I found Earth God and asked for one of his feathers, which he happily gave to me." The brown feather in my mane... yea, that's Earth God's. "Then I asked the Moon God for a feather and she said I'd have to work for it... So, I joined the World's Edge and became an Acolyte Philosopher. Now I'm three and realize I make decisions based on my past. All I do all day is think. I think about being attacked, I think about the gods, my children, my herd, my want to be noticed, my want for friends... Speaking of which, I don't think Africa likes me anymore. If I feel threatened in anyway, I protect myself. Maybe this is why I act crazy and use my fire magic... To scare of any threats. Maybe I make horrible decisions because no one ever taught me how to make correct decisions. Maybe I'm in love with a stallion that wonders what goes on in my head, but when I ask him something, he gives me his guarded answers. As if he's scared to let anyone in." When I say my last little bit, I stare straight at this unicorn. Yea, bitch, I'm talking about you. "Shall we also mention that I'm scared of water, I like fire and I'm a little scared of heights so I don't fly too high for too long? And Mauja, when I said differences make us strong, I meant fire and ice... two different things. Opposite things, really. We'd be strong together." Did I even answer his question. "So, what goes on in my head? Fear, hope, love, hate. A lot goes on, Ironclad. Also, the thought of mating comes to mind sometimes, but I think that's a conversation for later." These are my thoughts. I've basically said everything I would've thought. So, with a cock of my head and devilish smile curling the ends of my kissers upward, I say one last thing. "Your turn."

ooc:; omg... a lot of talking o_o