You are no longer welcome here.
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That was a new one. First they tell him that he lived here - that he ruled a dragon's throat (that idea still didn't make sense to him), and suddenly now he was no longer welcome?! Rage once again burned brightly in his unresponsive mind. He wouldn't be fooled by their lies, by their games, and he certainly did not take orders from them. From her. Even Mara, who only moments ago had tried to suggest that he and Aurelia had been friends, was silent on the issue. Was there any truth in her words? Was Gaucho truly unwelcome here? Or was it just a last-ditch attempt to hurt the stallion who had been oblivious to her physical advanced?
It didn't matter. He would not stand for her lies. He was not going anywhere.
The gold that laced Aurelia's sleek and feminine chest began to sway and bubble, as flames licked and lingered. A cruel and twisted smile parted Gaucho's dark lips, as his hooves slammed down into the moss, still burning harmlessly. If he couldn't break bones, at least he could fuse those pretty golden fibers together. That would take much longer to heal - possibly it might burn away the follicles, leaving a dull patch of skin where the golden hair had once been. That would do nicely. If he couldn't tarnish her movements, at least he could forever mar her hide.
I liked it when you were gone!
Comprehension began to slowly dawn upon him, as his mind began to regain its normal functions. The ebbing pain from his lip began to pulse and radiate once again, as his eyes traced to where the mare danced forward. She stood facing away from him - was she speaking with someone? Was there someone else?! He had looked around before - stormy gaze had surveyed the circumference of trees and found nothing - had he been fooled? HURRTTT YOU IDDDIOT Mara screamed inside of his brain, reinforcing the imagery of her blistering chest and muzzle and also her words, seemingly laced with a different sort of pain. This did not compute. Aurelia had wanted to spar; she had asked for this when she had joined up with whatever cohort was behind these lies.
Just as Mara was about to send another wave of reprimands Gaucho's way, she spied a copper body moving in the grass. MOVE She immediately demanded, to which Gaucho obediently obliged. As his powerful forelegs pulled him forward he felt the ghost of a bite on his hock. Not enough for the snake to sink her fangs into, but enough to draw a small amount of blood. Gaucho haphazardly bucked as the bite blossomed into sharp pain. In his antlers, Mara hissed furiously. The only one allowed to bite her companion was her. If Gaucho wasn't moving at a faster pace, she might have slipped down to the ground and put Shilva in her place. As it stood now, sinking her own fangs into Shilva's bonded would be sweet enough revenge.
As Aurelia's body burst into flames and began to move towards the primitive duo, Gaucho was not deterred. We've all run our fingers through flame before - the trick to not getting burned, is doing it quickly. Gaucho's larger strides covered the ground quickly - his body position was aiming directly for her chest - although closer to the left side rather than square on. He needed to pass her, not collide with her. Would her golden flesh, now burned and bubbled, peel away if his spikes made contacted? Would her body now crumple under his weight, as it had failed to do before?
These dark thoughts were no longer chastised by Mara. Another snake had bitten her bonded. It was on.
Gaucho leaned his shoulder left and inwards, trying to accommodate for the height difference between the two, as he aimed to slam into, and then ricochet away from Aurelia. He wasn't sure if he could force his shoulder and chest into her own, for she seemed to be weaving - her strides seemingly random and unguided.
Mara, poised in his antlers, lunged as soon as she judged she was close enough: holding on to his antlers with her tail, she lashed forward, poison-ready fangs aiming for the left side of Aurelia's sleek neck. The pair did not linger however, as the flames from Aurelia's body began to painfully singe and fuse together the hairs on Gaucho's shoulder and chest. Diving to the right and away from Aurelia, Gaucho's lips parted in a bloody smile.
If any of the golden girl's accomplices were out there, they had not interfered. They had left her to the WildFire, and she had been burned.
[WC: 797
Summary: Mara see's Shilva and urged Gaucho forward. He receives a small bite, but is not poisoned. He runs towards her, aiming to collide with the left side of her chest, and pierce her burned flesh with his collar. At the same time, Mara tries to bite the left side of her neck. Then they dodge to the right to escape further burns.
Attack: 3/3
OOC Teaching Notes
I really liked this post! I seriously got chills when Aurelia said that Gaucho wasn't welcome in Helovia anymore Q____________Q . I was waiting for her to lie and say he had been banished or something. I would have loved to see that part fleshed out a little more. I really enjoy her saying she wanted to be a wraith again - wonderful historical reference. The part at the end, where she wants him to remember her as a warrior - and how this can be her new first impression - is also really awesome!
There were a few grammatical/spelling errors. Try to watch that, as it will immediately detract points. I think realism/injuries might be an area for improvement. I think you took the damage well, but I didn't see you continue to write Aurelia as being injured, after the initial burns. If her chest is blistered and burning, every step she takes is going to hurt. That skin is going to be tight and tender - and if her own hide is on fire, how does that effect her burns? Any heat near a burn is going to hurt, really badly. I would have liked to have seen her limping more. Also, writing that she is just running towards him and would be happy to hit him anywhere, makes it difficult to respond to. I mean, she's got to be aiming roughly to his some part of him, with some part of her. You should tell her opponent that much. Even if its, Her goal was for her shoulder to hit his barrel. But if she collided with any part of his left side, she would be happy with that. You need some directionality. Because it isn't as though she could realistically hit him anywhere. Also, she would likely be trying to kick at him, I should think. If her chest is injured, she won't really want to be using it to ram into him.
Having Shilva just sort of appear there, came across really cheap to me. One way to avoid this, would be to spend more time describing her. A few sentences saying how she had been laying in wait in the grass, just in case Aurelia couldn't handle things herself....or how she had been watching and was angry because Gaucho had burned Aurelia and now wanted to poison him in return...just anything to suggest that she really had always been there, but why she hadn't moved until now, so that it didn't seem like she was just appearing when the going got tough.
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[JUDGED] Lie in Our Graves | Spar: Aurelia
