Weakness. I felt it shake me, shatter my resolve, break down the levy banks that I had built up against the flood of horror and torment that swirled out of control within me. It wasn't the first time this had happened, and it was unlikely to be the last, still raw was the wound that your absence, your death inflicted upon my soul. I am broken without you, lost, adrift, and whenever I think I find my footing, I remember that you are no longer there to be my shadow, to light my way, to support my soul. How was I meant to live without you? How was I meant to go on, to find happiness again, and even if happiness came across me, how was I meant to enjoy it without feeling the guilt of your absence pulling me back into the darkness?

Were you happy wherever you were, Sitka?

I feel the warm shoulder of the stallion beside me, and though my initial instinct screams at me to recoil and pull away, I find myself clinging to the touch, wanting it, holding onto it, willing it never to go. With my eyes shut, I can pretend that his touch is my father's, that his voice, as it asks after my wellbeing, it the Ardent's warm and caring tones. I let him lead me from the ocean, my limbs shakily carrying my weight onto the drier sand, my bodice becoming patterned with said sand as it was lifted up by the wind that my agitation summoned, and spattered across my wet self. Anxiety crept into me then, a need to keep moving, to run away -but my wings were drowned, flightless, my limbs still shaking from the sobs that rattled me, my breathing still laboured and heavily. Running wasn't going to happen for a while.

"Yes," I said, clinging to the excuses he offered, refusing to let him know the horrible truth behind my crippling depression. I coughed and spluttered, and though tears still streamed down my façade, they slowed as I shook my tiara to and fro, pressing my eyes shut against the constant flow of saline drops. "Damn wave caught me off guard," I add, snorting roughly and coughing some more. The actions weren't entirely fake - apparently crying your heart out is similar to swallowing half an ocean by accident.

"Th.. Thank you." I say, eyes opening and blinking as they tried to lock onto the stallion's own, m tiara nodding, supporting the gratitude I was trying to convey. "I'll be okay.." my voice murmurs, though I don't know who I was trying to convince - Dragomir or myself.


@[Dragomir]