Her king protected her from the world in ways she could not know or guess. Saving her from the gashes on his hide, the blood that would pour from his body, was just one of those many moments, until he told her, and she loved him all the more that he would protect her from some the horrors she could not see under the stains of blood. He was as considerate as he was brave. And though it pleased her to see him step in the water anyways, she still turned her head away from the spring so that she would not see the way the clear blue of the pool turned crimson around his limbs. He was right in his unvoiced opinion, that it was too much for her to bear.

Still, she was lucky to have Kaj and so many other friends who were willing to stand by her side and coddle her during all of her dramatics that came straight from her heart. And as she now poured her heart out to him, as he watched her patiently from up above as he always did, the queen took in the last sight of him that she was sure she'd ever see. It was a shame, really, to know that her last memories of him would be of a bloodied version of the stallion she had always remembered as so proud and strong. But, she sighed inwardly, happy at least in the knowledge that she could always choose to remember him from a time in the past when he was strong and grand, when he was as brilliant looking as he always was of heart. That time when he had saved her from running away from Helovia, perhaps... she had always appreciated that moment of theirs together.

But then not once, but twice, gentle words came from his mouth... she could have died of happiness. He did not blame her for being a poor, reckless excuse for a queen? He did not think she deserved death for her crimes? She could have sang a chorus with the angels and been as radiant as them all. His benevolence had saved her from exile or worse, she was sure, and she pressed on into the water to be closer to him. Not to lay her side against him, though she longed to do so, but rather to lip at his mane and blow a soft stream of air against his neck. He was her savior as well as her king. She owed him so much.

And yet, as gentle as his words might be, they were also commanding and the compliant queen listened with rapt attention as he thundered on. His wisdom was true and he saw so much more than what she had seen. True, she would not have brought a companion onto the battlefield. True, it was Aurelia's choice to let little Shilva fight. True, it was an accident. And though his words calmed her for a moment, this moment, it would take many more days as weeks for her shattered soul to really heal from this hurt that had been thrown upon it. But she would try to please him, for she would always try to please him.

Then his muzzle came so close, his breath and hers becoming one, and the queen welcomed him into her space, tilting her head into his, his breath as electrifying as the storms he could create. And as he spoke on, though he spoke of terror and violence, the queen reveled in her closeness to him. He did not frighten her, though he spoke of death. She did not fear him, now that she knew he would not send her from this place. But as she stood here so close to him, accepting his words and wanting to speak no more of the subject, the only other thing she could think to say seemed so silly and so out of place. But she said it anyways, because she felt she had too. “I'm afraid of you,” she whispered to his muzzle closing her eyes but not moving her head away from his. Her words were cryptic, but she could not yet find it in herself to go own.

She was afraid, but not for her physical health. She was afraid because, knowing now that the feeling she felt inside of herself for him was love, she could not help but think of the implications. She knew so little of the subject and even less of how she was supposed to act or what she was supposed to say. And all she could see in her head were chains, wrapping around her ever tighter, squeezing the life out of her and rooting her in place. She saw the branches she had seen when Lace had trapped her in the Edge and all she had wanted to do was exit the walls. She saw the glass wall she had built growing taller and wider, stronger than ever. She saw her mother, heart growing ever colder, trapped in her father's cathedral. She saw nothing but capture, a prison, and a death sentence. She was a free bird not meant to be caged, not meant to be tied down or rooted. And in all of these things she saw only fear, so she feared Kaj because she knew that she would have to tell him. She could not keep secrets.

It did not even occur to her to be afraid that he might not return her love, might not feel the same way that she felt. Her selfish fear of containment was enough to occupy her mind. She did not want to be in love because it would destroy every piece of her that she had ever grown to know and love. But she was and she could not deny that fact. So, when she opened her eyes and saw him still there she shied back, unsure of what to do or what to say, the words sitting on her tongue and making her as sick as they made her happy. But she knew that she would have to speak them eventually, because her fear for the death of her soul (already mangled into pieces as it was) was not so important as her feelings for Kaj. Her voice was but a whisper, shallow and hollow, short and shaky, when she finally spoke. “I love you.” The queen who always had so much to say found herself short of words. So instead she looked up to him, a tear falling from each eye as she put herself in jail and watched the wind blow the key off the cliff into ocean below.


@[Kaj]