Her loud gasp caused him to hesitate and as he gazed upon her, he saw her eyes widen and as his name slipped past her lips in a soft whisper, she collapsed. Oh shit. His heart suddenly begins to race, pounding in his chest so hard that he wondered how his chest could even contain it. "No. No no no no. Aly, no, please.." his voice is frantic and pained. He hadn't really noticed the owl much before but now that he had seen it clearly - screeching, flapping, grabbing her mane in a desperate yet feeble attempt to keep her standing. He knew what kind of owl it was and his heart screamed. That was the kind of owl that he had chosen as one of his forms in Nocturne. One of his shifts, you might say. See! he wanted to scream, we are meant to be.
His defiance, however, is short lived. Truly, how could he focus on something so trivial as their relationship when Aly was clearly struggling. Miykael rushed to her, as quickly as he was capable with the slick moss covering the rock floor of the cave. A thought that the owl might not take kindly to his approach or understand his intent crossed his mind, however fleeting it was. He wanted to help her, longed to, but he didn't know how. Blocking the memory had only been a temporary fix and one that she hadn't been in agreement with. Even if she did agree to allow him to block them all over again, he could see an endless loop and watch it on repeat - her finding out he blocked something in her mind, anger, confession, and then pain. When would it all end?
With white wings tucked against his sides, he lowers his head and reaches to touch her nose with his. "I'm sorry, Aly...so sorry." he murmurs, the words floating softly on his breath. Blue eyes gaze into vibrant emerald green and he realizes that she isn't here. Alysanne was lost, but where? Lost in thought? Lost in the past and the memories that have clearly just resurfaced? "Please come back to me, Aly...please." he cannot help but to beg her, though it seems so hopeless now.
'What is there to love about me?' There is no bitterness in her voice but only a cool acceptance. Miykael can't prevent the snort of derision from exploding into the silence surrounding them. Not that he tried all that hard, to be fair. He hesitates to speak. Not because there is any validity to her words but because he can't grasp the words to describe it or to convince her. And he had to convince her. Wasn't that his purpose? To keep her safe and happy, wasn't that what he was supposed to do? Even at the expense of his own happiness, as is usually the case.
"Everything." he begins but he knows that isn't where it will end. "You're beautiful, Aly." and he pauses, replaying the words in his mind and quickly realizing that they would likely be perceived in the shallow sense. "Not just... on the outside. But on the inside. You have a beautiful soul." There, that's better. Yet, it's still not enough. "You love easily, see the good in everything and everyone even when the good is so hard to see. Aly, I was an angel by title once, long ago, but you are more of an angel than I ever was." And there it was, but would she believe it? Would it be enough? Would anything he did ever be enough for her? She had so easily placed him in the friend zone all those years ago and he has been desperately trying to claw his way out ever since.
The battle, it seemed, was a losing one. Perhaps he is simply a glutton for punishment because when her eyes once again focus on his, her sobs growing more violent - he can't help but long to hold her tight and wipe away those tears. Lowering himself down to lay before her, as close as he can comfortably get, he reaches out with his muzzle in an attempt to stroke her cheek. Her apologies fall on deaf ears. He simply chooses not to acknowledge them, they were unnecessary after all. Wasn't he the one that had been in the wrong? He who had blocked those memories in her mind without her knowledge or permission? "Of course you didn't know." The words are soft and kind, whispered gently in her ear. "Shh, Aly. Hush now. It's alright." Would she accept him again? Even if he is just a friend? His chest swells with anticipation and hope. Though his eyes don't dare to divulge such secrets.
i just want to believe in you and me |
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![[Image: mikey_by_moonstone_designs-d9dgnba.png]](http://orig02.deviantart.net/51ca/f/2015/290/e/5/mikey_by_moonstone_designs-d9dgnba.png)
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[P] Still learning to love, just starting to crawl
