the Rift


Shake it outta' me | Spar | Aaron
Ascended Helovian

Gaucho The Wildfire Posts: 1,004
Deceased atk: 8.5 | def: 11.5 | dam: 8
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17.2 :: 12 HP: 85 | Buff: PINNACLE
Mara :: Black Mamba Snake :: Paralyze & Vorsa :: Plain Zephyr :: Phoenix Odd
#1



What Gaucho needed most, was simply the absence of thought. It was the constant buzzing of Mara in his brain, that was slowly driving him mad. She flooded his primitive mind with image after image: sands and storms; a mare lost at sea; a quiet healer; a crystalline rose; a flash of lightning; an endless night and trees bleeding light; wraiths and a sickness...The bombardment threatened to throw off the dun's balance, as his inability to multitask left him nearly helpless during Mara's fits of imagery-overload. Gaucho could sense his bonded's frustration, as she constantly worked to force him to remember a life that seemed simply illusory. I no remember! he would mentally shout, forcefully shaking his antlered-skull to try and break her mental hold upon his mind. At this, she would often hiss and sulkily retreat higher in his antlers, biding her time until later, when she would try again.

The absence of thought - that's what Gaucho needed. But moreso, he needed the feeling of flesh pulling against his own. The feeling of teeth and hooves grating against his skin, of his spiked-collar coaxing blood out of another: giving him new memories to fill the dark void in his primitive mind. Maybe he would find an opponent with the ability to knock him unconscious. It was a rare occasion for Gaucho to be bested in battle, although on this evening, he would welcome the unconsciousness of defeat. To sink into blackness where not even Mara's probing mind could disturb him, would be a blessing.

Flying high where the air grew slightly more shallow, forcing his lungs to fight for oxygen, Gaucho haphazardly landed in the Heavenly Fields. Although the sun had dipped below the horizon, warm pinkish tones still filled the skies, creating a soothing and relaxing atmosphere. Yet Gaucho was neither soothed, nor relaxed. The air was mild - warm, but not uncomfortably so, and a light breeze stirred playfully amongst the grasses. All of this - the gently waves of flowers dancing in the warm glow of the evening - Gaucho found annoying. He wanted biting cold - or hellishly hot. He wanted his body to fight merely enduring the elements - not to be pampered by the scenery and pleasant weather.

With a frustrated grunt, Gaucho swept a black wing across the grasses, hoping that the harmless and heatless flames on his wings would set fire to the grass. Of course no such thing happened, and so the dun resorted to thrashing and bucking at the foliage, decapitating as many flowers as possible. Jaws gaping wide, revealing oddly white teeth, the WildFire bellowed loudly and angrily into the still of the evening, his call echoing across the empty fields. It was a sound of pain and anguish, of frustration and need. It spoke of the remedy to his misery, the elixir that could finally soothe his soul, if only temporarily.

Fight me! Beat me!




For @[Aaron] - Teaching Spar.
Setting: Heavily Fields. The sun has set, but there is still ample light. The air is quite pleasant, with only a slight breeze. Feel free to attack first!

WC: 490
Attack: 0/4


Image Credits
Please tag me in every post! Magic/Force is allowed on Gaucho at any time.


Aaron Posts: 260
World's Edge Protector atk: 4.5 | def: 8.5 | dam: 6.5
Stallion :: Equine :: 15.3 hh :: 6 Years HP: 67 | Buff: NOVICE
Alanna :: Common Hellhound :: Energy Drain Emily
#2
Aaron

Today the painted knight and hellhound returned for the first time to Heavenly Fields. The first time since he had witnessed through Alanna's eyes the murder of his mother. It had been something he had needed to do alone. Although he figured Kimber and Kaiden were probably not very far away. His heart skipped a beat at the thought of her. But the feeling did not last for long as the pair climbed higher and higher up the rocky path. You can do this. Alanna encouraged him mentally. I can, but I am not sure I want to Alanna. He stopped for a moment, about halfway up the path. The garnet and ivory hellhound rubbed gently along his legs. Need to over want to. He nodded silently and continued the climb to the top.

Once there, he just stood at the top of the path. The same spot where Alanna had been able to do nothing but watch his mother die before running back down to him. Slowly, the paint walked forward to inspect the place where she had fallen. Time had rid the ground of her body, but the memory was etched in his mind. However it seemed the Gods were willing to bless him for coming, as where her chest had fallen lay an amulet. It was golden in color, much like his mother's coat had been. He smiled softly, I carry? Alanna questioned gently. Please, until I can get someone to tie it in my mane or create another way to carry it.

It was then the antics of the pegasus caught Aaron's attention. Couldn't he mourn in peace?! Frustrated, the young knight charged the stallion. He screamed, letting go a cry of anger and sadness. Alanna stood, shocked at the display of her bonded. This was not like him. She could feel everything he felt, just as he could feel her confusion. As his anger boiled with every step, her garnet markings began to glow as the anger spread to her as well. They would take this beast on, if for nothing more than a reckless outlet of anger.


"Talking"

Word Count: 353
Attack: 1/4

Aaron charges at Gaucho. Alanna stands in the background for now.

Image- foxyfirewings @ DA
Brush- http://www.obsidiandawn.com

In Nomine Patris Et Filii
Et Spiritus Sancti

Please Tag Aaron in All Posts
Permission granted to use magic or physical force with Aaron at any time for any reason to any degree, with the exception of killing him.

Ascended Helovian

Gaucho The Wildfire Posts: 1,004
Deceased atk: 8.5 | def: 11.5 | dam: 8
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17.2 :: 12 HP: 85 | Buff: PINNACLE
Mara :: Black Mamba Snake :: Paralyze & Vorsa :: Plain Zephyr :: Phoenix Odd
#3



It never took long, did it? The anguished call from one heart to another in need of physical satisfaction always reached some willing soul, did it not? In Gaucho's experience, it did. And so, as the tobiano stallion appeared, Gaucho's stormy gaze swept approvingly in his direction. Although the paint appeared to have some of the same warmblood traits that Gaucho had, it was as if all of the dun's length and leanness had been squashed down a few hands, resulting in the stockier and smaller Aaron. Joining him, appeared to be some wolfish looking creature - white splashed with a light red. The dun had never seen such a combination before (although truthfully, if he had all of his memories, he might have recalled Loretta was sort of wolfish). In his antlers, Mara hissed softly, sizing up Alanna. Her fur appeared thick ... if it came to it, she'd likely have to target the canine's face or belly, though attacking the belly seemed risky.

As the pair sized up their soon to be opponents, Aaron began to charge, screaming as he did so. Although Gaucho was unaware of whatever caused the paint such anguish, it was a feeling that his primitive mind understood. Fight me. Fight will make everything better. Gaucho thought in earnest. For while the troubles of the world - Gaucho's lost memories, and Aaron's lost family - would still be there after their heaving bodies finally came to a halt, they would be dulled so long as they sought the physical caress of each other, in battle.

As Aaron raced his way, Gaucho spread his black wings. His darkened legs extended easily, as he raced forward to meet Aaron. Sizing the paint up, as if he were some hurdle to be cleared, Gaucho adjusted both his strides, and his wings in tandem. As the space between them dwindled, Gaucho beat his dark wings downward, moving his taller frame into the air. Tucking his forelegs neatly to his blue-striped chest as his wings pulled him higher, he allowed his flame-tipped wings to beat downwards, causing an arch of fire to extend from his blackened feathers. The arch had an extension of about 30ft, which, if Gaucho had judged his extended flight-aided leap correctly, should intersect with Aaron's current trajectory. Then again, perhaps the equine had some magic that would allow him to evade the blast. It did strike Gaucho as strategically silly, for a creature bound to earth to attack one able to take to the skies in the manner that he had but... The dun was appreciative that an opponent had appeared, and would not judge Aaron's tactics.

The WildFire did not remain in the air. He allowed his body to naturally angle back towards the earth, about 20 feet behind where he had last seen Aaron. Dark hooves stretched forward, colliding with the softened ground. Cantering forwards, the dun spun around trying to locate his opponent. In his antlers, Mara's dark gaze sought out her opponent; the white wolf-thing. She had not been a part of the opening attack, but the snake judged that she would not remain in the background for long.




WC: 535
Attack: 1/4
Summary: Gaucho runs towards Aaron, and flies over top of him. As he does so, he uses his magic to send a wall of fire towards him, and lands about 20ft behind him.

OOC Teaching Notes

AAMMMMGGGGG. Using the murder is AMAZING. I had no idea it happened in the Fields - I'm so glad that this is where we're sparring! Excellent, excellent choice to bring that up!

So the judging categories are based on realism, emotion, prose, and readability. In my comments, while I'll give you tips on things I see, I'll focus specifically on what the judges will be looking for. In terms of emotion, your post was great. I would have loved to have seen more - especially where Aaron becomes annoyed that Gaucho is flailing around while he's trying to grieve. I mean, it isn't like Gaucho knew that she was killed here - he wasn't even there. Alanna could have told him that. So why is Aaron annoyed? obviously he's attacking Gaucho as an outlet (They would take this beast on, if for nothing more than a reckless outlet of anger.) But what else? Why isn't he yelling "SHUT THE FUCK UP" as he rushes towards him? So I think that part could have been motivated a little bit more.

I think your biggest area of improvement is going to be writing the actual attacks. So Aaron is charging at Gaucho - what's he trying to do? Just intimidate him? Make him leave the area? Or if he's trying to hit him, where exactly is he aiming? Although you never want to powerplay, in writing spar posts, you need to give your opponent some structure to work with. So even if I decide to evade you completely, or take the damage from some other source, your post sets up where you are in relation to me, as well as what and where I might take damage from. Right now, I just have to guess where Aaron might be, and what he might do after he attacks.

Also keep in mind that your post seems to imply that Alanna is with him - but in your summary you mention she's hanging back. Your summary can never contain new information.

So in looking at the roll, Aaron's attack misses. This is sort of fitting, given that he's just running at Gaucho. We don't really expect a character like Gaucho to just stand around, and get hit by someone just charging at him. But in all honesty, I hate when I roll a 'miss', because I always feel like I'm cheating when I write these posts - and it actually makes it sort of tricky for realism as well. I mean, even if Gaucho runs at Aaron and tries to kick him or bite him, he's going to take some damage, even if it's really minor. So I either need to find a realistic way of ensuring that Gaucho would take any damage at all, or just take damage that wasn't rolled for.

Also I realized I put 4 attack posts - we can just do three if you like. Your call!



Image Credits
Please tag me in every post! Magic/Force is allowed on Gaucho at any time.


Official Posts: 847
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#4
21 days have passed. Aaron defaults to Gaucho. Gaucho receives .5VP


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