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07-10-2014, 02:10 AM
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I'm dead in the water, still looking for ya'
Love. Perhaps it was the truth of his love, the worry that he had. But she did not wish to be the cause of the kind of pacing panic which had taken ahold of the two mares she considered family. "I've never been worth it - enough to be the source of the worry," she whispers, eyes closing. Her thousands of years of being beaten, the scars on her spine, and the miscarriages. They had never worried, no matter how deadly a situation she was placed in. She'd learned long ago she wasn't worth it. She'd never deserved love. Liar. That was what she was called in the heads of those who had heard her attempt to explain her life. Still, he couldn't know. No one believed her. She had become accustomed to such breaking. She had become accustomed to the dark pits that came with the abuse. She had accepted she would forever be a liar. She shifted herself, allowing his hold to tighten. While she may not need his warmth after the bout of heat stroke she welcomed it willingly. Should it happen again, she would be under the wing of her friend - she wouldn't be alone. He says that he never had judged her, hugging her tightly as the tears slid and laughing a little - the tone too incredulous to ebb toward mocking. "It's weakness," she murmurs, taking a breath in, "I've never been allowed to be weak," But she stop speaking as soon as his voice lifts to the air again. Smile. He smiles against her flesh, the gentle shift of his maw making it apparent to her mind as she continues to try and work through everything mulling around in her mind. The questions sliding from his maw were all simple ones - none about the terrors she had lived like she had expected. For none truly cared about what she liked, no they just wanted to know what they had to deal with. Because that's all she was, something they had to mess with and throw off to the side because she was too broken. The smile still lingers against her spine. "Mate - I've had a few… all abusive. No foals have survived, miscarriages from my nearly broken back which is too far gone to be fixed. I hope I'll be able to have at least one here - maybe with Alleo should he be willing. As for now, I love him, and he I - so while I may not understand why he thinks I deserve it I will do my best not to ruin it," she speaks as though a wrong action, a slip-up will shatter the relationship. But she'd already had one, one that had almost killed him and he still loved her. It was a form of habit, "I suppose reds, oranges. For they reminded me most of my red tailed hawk - and sweet grass." Broken frame, not just in soul, but in her physical manners presses up tighter to his flesh. "No one's wanted to know these things… they've just wanted to know what they had to deal with…" eyes squeeze shut as she tries to force back the tears, "I don't know why I deserve this when I've always been worthless," |
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Mystified, just spinning 'round in circles
Drowning in the silent screaming with nothing left to say
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Mystified, just spinning 'round in circles
Drowning in the silent screaming with nothing left to say
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