“Snowflake.” The word is almost not a word, almost a breath, almost a sigh. But you say her name because she's here, she followed you, and somehow it makes you happy. Or at least a little less miserable. In your rage, were you really so blind and deaf as to not notice her following behind her? You suppose not, but you never suspected that anyone would care to follow you out of that place. After all, who gives one rats ass about the Addict? You might be the general now, pretending to be big and important, but that doesn't mean you've gained any respect. You're just the god damned jester still. Someday you'll kill them all.

But Snowflake, here in the darkness... she came, she cared. Not even Sugar Lips has come for you lately, or at all, since her failed attempt at taking the crown. You push her memory aside. You thought you had cared for her, you had almost dreamed that she had cared for you too, but now... now it seems that you were wrong. It seems that you were just pulled into her sugar dreams, just like everyone else. A pawn in her disastrous game of chess- just one more loss to add to your long list. You're good at nothing except fighting, destroying... How could anyone really care for you?

And yet, you come full circle in your thoughts, because someone must care for you. Elsa came, she's here...

You move towards her, or a least to where you think she is based on her her voice, and reach out your nose. You, reaching out? But you have to. You feel an uncontrollable urge to comfort her from the destruction that has been wrought upon her and the strange words she is saying to you. She's sorry? She didn't mean to hurt you? No... She's got it all wrong. “It was him, not you,” you whisper, though your gravely voice still carries. All the while, your nose reaches for flesh. Her neck, her shoulder, whatever you might bump into. Who knows, in this forsaken darkness. “I'll make him pay Snowflake... I should have been there.”

There it is- you admit your failings. You should have been protecting her and you weren't. You're the general, you only have one job and that is to keep your herd safe. You failed on all counts, but you can get revenge. “I don't care what the glass bitch says,” you inform her then, though your voice is still soft... tender, even? “I'm going to make him pay for this.” And then you do something entirely out of character. Your nose, which has hopefully already butted against her, reaches up and outwards before angling down. You try to capture her, to pull her close, to press your chest against her body and save her from whatever evils plague her. You're sweaty, damp, disgusting to the touch, perhaps, but it seems so important in this moment that she be next to you... against you. “I'll never let anything like this happen to you again.”

It's a big promise, but a promise that you intend to keep, if you can. And somewhere in your head, you feel distant memories and current happenings mixing together again. Kellian or Elsa? Home or Helovia? Your head is swimming, but for once it is not because of drugs. Enough is in your system to prevent you from detoxing, but not enough to make you high. No, this is your own mind conjuring emotions because it wants to, because it needs to. You're trying to classify your emotions, to place them in a box, to manage them, to contain them, but... but you don't know how to classify what you're feeling. And so your mind pulls memories from the past to remind you, to tell you... And you fight them all the way, but still you try to hold Elsa close to you. Past and present, all in one, and you want to forget everything but you also want to remember.

Because maybe you need her as much as you think she needs you. Because maybe, just maybe, physical strength is not enough to make it in this world.

@[Elsa]

Oxy