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Paladin smiled kindly at her words. "Ah," he replied. She thought that he was kind, and for that, he was grateful. He felt that he had an undeserved reputation currently, but this newcomer was obviously unbiased. She saw through the scars and the burns to see who he truly was. Something churned uneasily in his gut as the darkness inside him rose; it would always be there, this darkness. Always. His past hung like a shadow of doubt and regret in his mind, full of pain and anger - anger that simmered just beneath the surface all of his life. At times, the shadow turned into an all encompassing night, and he struggled against the darkness in his heart. What about him made him deserve this fate?
"As for my leadership, I wish to be a friend first. I consider leadership a tool for organization, not a... god-like title deserving of submission. I like to think that I am not arrogant enough to think in that way," he said, chuckling just a little.
He watched as her lovely features furrowed at his sadness regarding cowardice, and he then heard the way she backtracked on her words. The attempt and correcting herself was kind, but he was still trapped in the conflict. Was he truly a coward for leaving? Was Giselle right? "Do not let the world harden you too much, Saisands," he warned gently. "You will lose yourself in paranoia and mistrust, and that is not a pretty road to follow." The stallion smiled wanly. "However, thick skin is still an unfortunate necessity when you are dealing with competitive individuals."
He smiled kindly. "Bad is the opinion of the one who experiences the emotion," he replied. "You cannot compare the trauma of your past to another's, for your pain is just as real, even if the story seems different." Paladin was kind, always trying to lift up those around him, make them stronger. After a life of being torn down and all the good inside of his soul stripped away one kill at a time, he wanted to amplify these moral qualities in others. He wished them to feel special. "You respect me by wanting to participate in the herd," he said with a smile. "I cannot shoulder the responsibilities alone. I am but one raindrop in the ocean."
The beautiful little mare's response to his suggestion was heartening, and he smiled a jovial smile. He waited and allowed her to have her full reaction, though his pride swelled. For once, someone thought well of the title he gave, and that just felt good. Her question made him scoff, and he snorted lightly. "Of course you are. You have all of the qualities of a good diplomat. You are sociable, honest, open and fair, all aspects of an individual that suit a traveler with the import job of maintaining peaceful ties."
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Somewhere, over the rainbow. [Paladin]
