MORIR
Realism [0]
Throughout the fight you kept the terrain mind along with the fact that it was raining. On more than one occasion Morir slipped on leaves and even went so far as to slam into a tree and take damage from it. There were a few instances where I saw powerplay. Your second attack you say that Morir is behind Thranduil instead of saying that he attempted to get behind him, however I do like that Morir decided to use the same attack twice because he is not a trained fighter. You also say that "he howled and barreled around, pivoting around his fronts until he faced the fallen horse." I would have said that he pivoted to face where the fallen horse had been to avoid being seen as powerplay.


Emotion [+2]
There was so much anger and rage in all of Morir's post that I could literally feel it. If I were a spectator and not a judge then I probably would have rooted for him throughout the fight. Some of Morir's taunts to Thranduil had me laughing out loud.

Examples:

"Now stay there and eat my hooves! Blindy, blindy, I'll make you blind too and then I will fuck your ass until you taste blood!" -- goodness, lol

"Or if you want to live, run! Run and make sure to live fast, because one day I will find you and make you regret that your bitch of a mother ever crapped you out into this world!"


Prose [-1]
There were a few spots in your posts where you shifted tense from past to present and your entire final post was written in an entirely different tense than your first posts. I also noticed some dropped letters on words.

Some examples of things I noticed:

Without the slightest bit of warning - though not entirely unprovoked - the blind hellion slammed the brakes, spin spun around and charged the golden stud in a fit of icy, silent rage.

"He feels his feet strike flesh at least once, which encourages him to keep going; the rain-soaked ground grows muddy and wet beneath his feet as he slams down again and again, the force of his rage enough to dig deep into rock and soil until the earth beneath his feet is no more than a pit of thick, pasty clay that would have made a potter pee themselves in joy."


Readability [0]
The flow in your posts was very nice, but there were some spots where the tense shifted and interrupted the flow. Also, I found that your final post being in a different tense was a bit distracting, but not enough to take away from how well it was written. Also watch out for run on sentences.

Finally tally: ----- 63 + (1*2) = 65

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THRANDUIL
Realism [+3]
Like Chan did, you kept your terrain and the fact that it was raining in mind throughout the fight. There were a few times that I noted Thranduil slipped on damp leaves or in mud. In one post you even have him fall to the ground. Falling is not ideal but, being someone who has slipped and fallen because of mud, I understood your choice. I found Thranduil's second attack to be very interesting and I found myself waiting to see if it would actually work. I thought you did a nice job taking damage from the attack. Using the noise that Morir was making toward the end of the spar as cover for Thranduil to escape was very smart. You did an excellent job of writing and conveying Thranduil's pain from his damaged hip throughout the fight. I also took note of the way Thranduil seemed to become slower as the fight went on and he grew more tired and got more beaten up.


Emotion [+1]
In your first post I could definitely feel Thranduil's panic from the unexpected attack, but it seemed to ebb away toward the end of the post. The second post I could see Thranduil's devastation of not landing the attack and thinking the fight was falling apart but I didn't really feel. I found myself looking for emotion from Thranduil and I finally got it when he began to have a conversation with himself. I could feel him psyching himself up to get moving again. When Morir insulted Thranduil's mother I finally got more of that emotion that I was looking for.


Prose [0]
Overall, your posts were good but you have a lot of fragmented sentences that made parts of your posts feel very choppy, rushed, and unpolished. Also, keep in mind to watch out for typos. Sometimes Word doesn't catch them so I would suggest writing your post then coming back to it a little while later to proof it.

Example:

There was no more bravo bravado in those gold dusted eyes. They were gazed glazed and distanced: knowing only they had to get this mangled son away.



Readability [+1]
The fragmented sentences I mentioned above interrupt the flow of the post and make it more difficult to read. I would suggest watching out for those. As the battle progressed your flow seemed to get better. You also had a sentence that I found to be confusing:

"Spanish neck snaked out ready to aim those vicious fangs. Half way lifted, and curved it all seemed so well." -- This is very oddly worded. Referring to his teeth as fangs made me look at Thranduil's profile to see if he did, indeed, have fangs and I found that he does not. When I read your summary of your attack at the very end of your post was when I realized what you were doing here.


Finally tally: ----- 34 + (5*2) - 2 (for edited posts) = 42