ELSA
Realism [+2.5]
I thought all your attacks and defenses were great, I was just hoping to see a bit more detail with the injuries and how they affected you throughout the fight. You also didn't mention his Boggart's attack. I didn't see any mention of surroundings and only a brief mention of breed (the David Goliath comment, which was awesome). However I think with this fight both of you were focusing a lot more on the character development and emotion which was definitely fantastic, but took away a bit from the realism aspect of a usual fight.


Emotion [+2]
I really loved the emotion you portrayed in the last 2 posts, however the first one felt very emotionless to me. You mentioned things, but you told me rather than showed me, so that first post brought your overall score down, however the last 2 were wonderful. I especially loved how Elsa was averting her gaze in the second post.


Prose [+2.5]
Throughout the fight your prose got better with each post, however initially it felt rushed and rather basic writing, which to some degree was maintained throughout each post, but I definitely saw improvements as you went along.


Readability [+2]
Your posts are readable, but you frequently have typos and utilize “but” to start sentences which isn't correct - however that got better as the posts went along.

Post 1:
“ I mean, technically she should be fighting a completely capable warrior, but still.” (this sentence read weird to me because of the “I” when you’re whole post is third person.)
“...maybe her beauty would distract her a little bit.“ (distract him).
“...attempts to quick jump and close the space between them.” (attempts a quick jump, or, attempts to quickly jump.)

Post 2:
“Why was now different before?” (than before).
:...attempt to avoid the worst of what is to come.” (attempts or attempting).
“... she realizes, that it is unlikely he will…” (don’t need comma).
“What happened to the confidence Elsa?” (confident).

Post 3:
“...and he would not her stop.” (not let her?).


Finally tally: 28.5+(9*2)= 46.5 HP


OXY
Realism [+3.5]
You had great attacks and defenses, given the situations and what was motivating Oxy, since some of them weren't realistic for a typical fight. I thought you had good injury descriptions and for the most part had them affect you through the fight, although i think you took too much damage in the first post based on the damage roll. I really enjoyed the way you took her critical hit though and how you kindasorta attacked afterwards! You also really did not mention breed or surroundings whatsoever, but I recognize both of you were focusing your word count on emotion and character development.


Emotion [+3]
You consistently had stunnin emotion all through the fight.


Prose [+4.5]
Your pose was just lovely all throughout, particularly the last 2 posts.


Readability [+2.5]
For the most part your posts were readable, just some typos in your first one.

Post 1:
“...beats in your cheat.” (chest).
“...your hind right limb can support you know longer…” (no).


Finally tally: 41.5+(13.5*2)= 68.5 HP