the Rift

Bright Things with Sharp Edges [Open Spar]

Rei Posts: 140
Hidden Account atk: 4.5 | def: 9.0 | dam: 6.0
Mare :: Pegasus :: 14hh :: 5 years HP: 62.0 | Buff: NOVICE
Anka :: Oriental Short Clawed Otter :: None TierRen
“In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe.”
― Michael Jackson

Rei looked upon the battle ground with a light dancing in her eyes and a mischievous grin that grew so large that she felt the corners of her eyes wrinkle shrinking themselves to make more room for the smile. Although a gentle soul the pegasus was a soldier's daughter. Herlov's lust for a good spar did creep into her own bloodstream every so often.

She missed her lessons with him and her lighthearted spars with Deryk. He had also been taught by Herlov but he hadn't been the best of fighters merely tapping Rei with his hooves. Although the colt had been taller and bulkier than Rei she had beat him nearly every time. Occasionally Rei had felt bad and let him win simply to boost his ego and to make him look good in front of his friends.

With an air of confidence bordering arrogance Rei pranced from the outskirts of the grounds to the center. It was a characteristic that didn't surface often, although humble most of the time there was a part of her that was extremely prideful. No one had ever told her that pride came before a downfall and even if they did it was unlikely she would ever change out of her set ways. The mare was her father made over.

"I will take on anyone that would like to have a friendly spar!" Rei prepared herself for whoever may come, she stretched out each wing, her neck, and each leg. Patience, preparedness, and purpose were what her father had told her would lead to a victory. Without patience you were unable to be prepared, without preparedness then you must not have purpose, and if you had no purpose then you had no business fighting. Rei's purpose was simply for fun, she was preparing now, and she hoped that her patience would last until an opponent accepted her offer.

Location: Caela Insula

I have no idea what I am doing, but I have wanted to spar with Rei for a while now so here is me giving it a go. Posts after this one will get better!

Credits: Thank you Shady and Tamme!
Magic usage is okay.
Just ask before doing any actions that may cause a great deal of damage first.
I am also okay with being tagged.

Ampere The Mother of Companions Posts: 719
Dragon's Throat Sultana atk: 9 | def: 11 | dam: 4.5
Mare :: Pegasus :: 14 hh :: 6 years HP: 73 | Buff: DANCE
Kygo :: Green Cheek Conure :: None Blu
Just to clarify:
Surroundings: Are we on a grassy area or one of the sandy training arenas?
Time: What time of day?
Season: Orangemoon

Restrictions: Would you prefer no magic, or do you not mind?
Timeline: Regular
As we discussed in my spar thread we can make this a teaching spar, so I will post some advice at the bottom of each of my posts :D 3 posts each. Good luck!

You can either attack in your next post or I will in my next one.

The large shadow that had drifted across the Veins had not gone unnoticed by Ampere on her most recent visit. She'd had other thoughts and duties to attend to first, but now that her to do list was mostly cleared off, she thought taking a break to explore the strange structure was a good idea. At the very least it would soothe her curiosity that had been itching like ant bites, further exacerbated when she saw so many coming and going, including unicorns and pegasus.

It couldn't be harmful, she supposed as she flew, watching as a cloud formed beneath the feet of a waiting equine. Fascinated she drifted alongside the traveling ball of moisture, mystified by the sturdiness of what she had always known to be perilously unsound. Magic she knew in an instant, but that didn't answer why. Were the lands below not ample enough room for all of Helovia's inhabitants and its games, or were the gods simply showing off? Perhaps it was to be their new evacuation ground, rather than suffering underground with the rising stench of everyone crammed together. It certainly seemed more appealing, but would it keep them safe? Wraiths could fly last time she checked, although everyone seemed to have already forgotten about that most recent plight.

No one still knew why the world had plummeted into darkness, and though the gods had rescued them from it they had not even attempted to explain. Ampere had been so busy with her new role, and soon thereafter the removal of it, that even she had let it slip from her forethought. Now however, with nothing but the wind around her and the promise of a heavenly paradise ahead, the shadows slunk back into mind.

Just what was going on around this place?

"I can't fix everything," some saner part of herself suggested, to which she heartily agreed. She was having enough trouble from the doing of her own hooves, not to mention trying to convince anyone that companion bonds were worse than they seemed - she definitely didn't need to stick her nose into the affairs of the celestial, particularly when they didn't ask for it. "I've had enough of the gods for a while anyway," she muttered, thinking of her encounters with the Sun and the Earth. Unfortunately it was not so easy to forget about them, not when their presence was in everything, including the gorgeous island that spread out beneath her rising wings.

Still, she could try, and that's exactly what she planned to do the moment she heard Rei call out for an opponent. "Yes, me!" Ampere called out hastily as she soared over Rei, already turning on her left wing to prepare to land near the speckled pegasus. Fighting would be a welcome distraction, and one which she desperately needed. A soft, friendly spar would be a good way to break her back into the habit.

"I'm Ampere," she offered by way of greeting as she stepped into a trot upon the ground, gradually shifting into a walk, but never stopping as she moved around Rei. Her wings folded loosely behind her, a competitive grin already beginning to streak her face. "And I would be happy to take you on."

Tag me only if starting a new thread.
Magic or force permitted any time, aside from death.

Rei Posts: 140
Hidden Account atk: 4.5 | def: 9.0 | dam: 6.0
Mare :: Pegasus :: 14hh :: 5 years HP: 62.0 | Buff: NOVICE
Anka :: Oriental Short Clawed Otter :: None TierRen
“In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe.”
― Michael Jackson

"Yes, me!"

Rei lifted her head at the sound of a voice that called out from above her. Squinting in the glare of the sun she watched the mare and her descent from the sky. It would be a fair match it seemed, both of the pegasi were of the same height and were of similar build. May the Gods help the pair if they were both also of equally competitive natures.

"I'm Ampere. And I would be happy to take you on."

Rei smiled brightly at Ampere, "I'm Rei," she chirped, "And I am glad that someone showed up!" Laughing brightly she was relieved, had someone not shown up to accept her challenge the leopard pegasus would have stayed where she stood until someone had shown up. Pride wouldn't have allowed her to walk away unanswered.

It was hard to transition from friendly greetings to a spar even if the spar was also a friendly one. Watching the movements of Ampere carefully Rei wondered what the oddly marked pegasus' fighting style would be like. This was where patience also came into play. An attack delivered without observing the opponent first was the equivalent of prancing through a cave before checking for inhabitants. There was the chance that you could get lucky and bump into nothing more than a few flighty bats, or you could end up meeting a family of ravenous bears. Without checking first there was no telling what you would get.

Quietly Rei watched before making her first move. The goal was to act quickly with the hope that going from a near standstill to a flurry of motion would throw Ampere off. Quickly she spread her wings and disturbed the sand at their hooves pushing it towards her opponent before once again hugging her wings close to her sides and lunging for Ampere. Her bared teeth aimed for the ebony neck before her, although if her bite was successful it would be nothing more than a nip. Rei didn't want to harm her new-found spar buddy after all.

How she had missed this! In her ears Rei could still hear the voices of her father and Deryk the former shouting out tips to her while Deryk would laugh at his own inability to win. Hope filled her chest at the prospect of befriending the pegasus before her. Would this be the beginning of many playful spars between the pair?

Lets go with one of the sandy training arenas.
And for time of day mid-afternoon.
I don't care about magic, Rei will have to learn to deal with it sooner or later and I would rather it be now in a friendly match XD

Summary: Rei uses her wings to disturb some of the loose sand at their hooves and then moves to bite at Ampere's neck. Hoping that the sand that had risen would slow Ampere's reaction.

Post: 1/3

Word Count: 403

Credits: Thank you Shady and Tamme!
Magic usage is okay.
Just ask before doing any actions that may cause a great deal of damage first.
I am also okay with being tagged.

Sevin the Sucky, I mean are you a # or vacuum? Posts: 161
OOC Account
Mare :: Other :: 5'5" :: 25
Don't forget to put up a stats thread so I can roll dice for you! Thanks :D

Also, @[Rei], don't forget to put what attack you're on in your post summary (ex. 1/3) and a word count! Feel free to edit your post to add those things!

Ampere The Mother of Companions Posts: 719
Dragon's Throat Sultana atk: 9 | def: 11 | dam: 4.5
Mare :: Pegasus :: 14 hh :: 6 years HP: 73 | Buff: DANCE
Kygo :: Green Cheek Conure :: None Blu
Rei's voice carried easily across the battlefield, light and cheery like the intentions of this fight. Ampere couldn't help but smile, though she remained on guard. She didn't know anything about this mare, and though Rei's words were nice, that meant shit in life. If Ampere was going to trust anything, it would be the strength Rei carried behind her hooves; bruises or blood, friend?

The smile became a simper when Ampere recognized Rei sizing her up, which she returned in favor. The Mother of Companions couldn't yet figure out if her speckled opponent was a warrior, but Rei was off to a good start if she had the mind to analyze her foe. Her pelt wasn't peppered with scars, but that could mean a number of things. All Ampere was certain of was that this could prove to be a very tough fight. She noted they both were of surprisingly similar height, much to Ampere's disappointment. She'd grown accustomed to being short and using it to her advantage, but she doubted she'd be ducking around this tiny mare. Oh well, she thought dismissively, having other talents she was sure she could rely on, her confidence being one of which wasn't in short supply.

Wind stirred under the sun, the island's altitude granting an essentially perpetual breeze. Ampere relished it, letting it drift through her mane and across her tucked wings. It whispered against her dark feathers, as anxious as she to begin. She let the energy coil through her with movement, making a point to never stand still, something her grandsire had taught her. Warm up the muscles, her mind lectured in his voice, legs picking up and pulling out to stretch and prepare.Test the ground, her memories dictated next, each one of her hooves passing over the sands with a dry spray. It was similar to the Throat, a place she was familiar with, albeit one she hadn't been among for seasons. Had she forgotten the tricks of the hard, yet yielding substance of the desert? She supposed she'd find out, if Rei ever made her move.

Is she waiting for me? Ampere wondered at one point, her gaze trained upon the spotted pegasus, but no longer strict with scrutiny. Just as Ampere considered executing a feint, Rei moved, quicker than Ampere expected, but not quite quick enough for the blue and her already dancing limbs. Harder to hit, came his voice once more, finishing off the trifecta of perpetual movement in battle.

Sand flew. So did hooves.

Ampere's haunches tucked in suddenly,a reflexive reaction and natural quickness more than anything else. The powerhouse of her hind end dug easily into the malleable terrain and shoved off, sending her forward. It was enough to just pass Rei's reach. Sand pelted Ampere's left side harmlessly, providing nothing more than an instinctive jerk of her head away and an irritating bite against her hide, one which encouraged her to keep moving out and away. She transitioned smoothly into a canter, but not even a stride was put forth as everything unfolded.

Rei was not slow by any means, nearly grabbing Ampere as it was. Thankfully Ampere didn't have any bigger of an ass or longer of a back, though a couple tail hairs did feel a twinge when that speckled jaw clamped shut. The sensation caused Ampere to flick her tail, hard, a few times side to side as though removing a lingering pest.

Swinging her head back around to eye Rei, her gaze lightning and her face full with a sloppy grin of bliss. Maybe not a warrior after all, Ampere thought, letting loose a low, half-hearted buck. She didn't focus on aim or power so much as speed, hoping to punch it out before more distance grew between them. If Rei was still somewhat perpendicular to her, then it'd probably hit around Rei's left breast.

Ampere kept going, her hooves easily sliding back under her. The sand was supple, making it comfortable to maneuver in, though she knew it could not be trusted. Only one place could be - the sky.

Unrelenting, Ampere cantered to the edge of the island, then beyond, so long as she wasn't impeded. Just before falling she tossed a daring look over her shoulder at Rei. The bold blue of her eyes said it all - dare to follow?

The wind swallowed Ampere's joyful whoop as she plummeted, wings spreading gradually and reaching both up and down to collect, wrestle, and finally tame the air's currents. Like a streak of lightning she shot back up to the floating island, then past it. This was where they were supposed to fight.

P: 1/3
W: 787


If you have any questions please feel free to pm me at any time! Also recognize these are my personal opinions and experiences, so take away from this what you want to only :) I will basically run through your post from top to bottom, then my post from top to bottom.


Reading through your post my initial impression is that you have pretty good realism and prose. You had a post count of 403, meaning you had lots of wiggle room left for providing description, emotion, and transitional words which would help prose and readability. I don't want you to think you have to hit the 800 word maximum, but it's nice to read through your post when you have a lower word count and see where you could improve it, since you can afford to!

One thing I noticed, which seems to be a style choice so it's up to you what to do with this advice, but you repeated everything my character said. This takes up precious words you could apply elsewhere. If you want to include somewhere that your response is to what Ampere said, then you can phrase it more like you did in your second paragraph: "Rei lifted her head at the sound of a voice that called out from above her. " With that the reader has a clear indication that Rei's response is to dialogue, without actually needing to copy to dialogue.

Great inclusion of Rei squinting in the sun. Utilizing your environment, whether to help or hinder you, always helps make the fight more realistic and really sets the surroundings from the readers. Something like the sun can be an excuse for missing an attack (couldn't see), for being more tired than normal due to heat, maybe for invigorating you more if it's say more winter time and has been cold, or if you worship the sun god and take it as a blessing etc.

I also liked that you mentioned Rei sizing up Ampere, which is not only a normal thing horses would do, but helps add that extra something to again make the fight come alive more. Consider that most wild horse fights have a lot to do with bluffing and intimidating, through which a horse may determine that a fight would end poorly against that opponent, so better not to engage. Since our characters are more humanized, bluffing and intimidating exactly as wild horses do usually doesn't work, especially since as players we're motivated to fight regardless of the characters involved (usually), so instead you use the sizing up as a way to explain why your character does this or that. This is where the stats come in very handy. One of the first things I do is compare the stats of characters fighting, and I don't just mean their attack, defense, and damage. For instance, Rei has higher strength, albeit not by much, and agility. So at some point you could make a valid reason/description that Rei evades an Ampere attack because she's better able to bend/twist/move away due to her agility. For the same reasons, Rei has lower speed than Ampere, so missing, particularly with this first attack, could be due to that slower speed. Adding in those quick little explanations and reasons really make a difference.

Height would also play into that, but as noted they're equal height so it's not too useful other than saying there's no advantage/disadvantage.
The important thing to remember with breed and surroundings though, is that you don't just 'get them out of the way' in your first post. You want to set them up definitely, but continue to touch on them, spreading them here and there, throughout all your posts during the battle. A common thing I see is people mention them once, then that's it.

Your next paragraph doesn't have much going on, but it's got some emotion. You just want to amp it up because I don't feel like I ever get to know Rei during this whole post. I get little baby bits, like her 'chirpy' voice, her bright laugh, her stubbornness at not wanting to leave if no one showed etc. But none of this tells me her motives, her real feelings, her history. I want to feel like I am Rei when I read her posts, and instead it seems like I'm occasionally allowed to sneak a peek. Constantly ask yourself, why. Why is she feeling this way, why is she doing this? Why that attack over that one. Why now instead of yesterday or tomorrow. Why fight at all? What will she feel about missing her attack completely? What will she feel about Ampere's attacks?

The third paragraph is another one without much going on, and still barely any emotion. From all those words, all I've learned is that Rei knows to be patient. You could spice it up like so:
"It was difficult to transition from friendly greetings to a spar, even if the spar was also friendly. Rei took her time with the change, carefully watching Ampere's movements in an attempt to understand what the oddly marked pegasus' fighting style would be like. In this moment, Rei knew patience was important. If she just charged forward now, hastily delivering an attack without any knowledge of her opponent, well that was like the equivalent of prancing through a cave without checking for inhabitants. She could get lucky of course, Ampere could prove to be worth as much as a few flighty bats, but the blue mare could also end up being like a family of ravenous bears. Rei didn't want to depend on luck if those were her odds, so she stuck with knowing what she was getting into, just in case there were bears."
There's no right or wrong way, but in my example I'm adding more of Rei. I use her name more, I use things like 'know' or 'think' to show that it's Rei's opinion, not the narrator's. That helps make it feel like those words all belong to Rei, that she's thinking them, and as I read them that I am her with them going through my head, rather than someone watching Rei.

Your fourth paragraph begins by reiterating a bit of what was already covered above, which is Rei watching Ampere. Instead, to help transition, I might say something like: "The battlefield did not afford an endless amount of time however, no matter the patience of its fighters. Rei had to be content with what she had seen and trust it was enough to lead her past the bears. All she had seen she tucked away in her mind, deciding she'd have to act quickly in order to throw Ampere off..."
So by talking about bears and patience, I help tie it in to the paragraph above. I again inject more emotion by giving Rei more possession of the words. Simple things like changing "the goal" to "her goal" can really help.

You're starting at a disadvantage already because this whole time you've had Rei standing there. Whether attacking or defending this makes her easier to hit/harder for her to land a hit, especially since Ampere is moving the whole time. The whole, 'an object in motion tends to stay in motion vs. an object at rest tends to stay at rest' comes into play here. She'll be faster if she's already moving, giving me less realism to dodge with. Similarly if she's moving when I attack, it gives you more realism to dodge with.

I thought the attacks you wrote though were excellent, I just encourage you to be more descriptive. For instance you say: "Quickly she spread her wings and disturbed the sand at their hooves pushing it towards her opponent before once again hugging her wings close to her sides and lunging for Ampere."
How did she disturb the sand? You say she spread her wings, but did she flap the sand, scoop it, kick it? Just spreading her wings doesn't really tell me much other than just that, her wings are spread. I would also suggest saying she 'tried' to push it, or 'aimed' it towards Ampere, rather than saying she did push it towards Ampere. It's a very minor difference of wording, but could be seen as slight power play. The attack itself though is an excellent us of surroundings and a distraction technique, which people often forgo in favor of damage based attacks, however I place great value in them and it adds nice variety.

Then you write: "Her bared teeth aimed for the ebony neck before her, although if her bite was successful it would be nothing more than a nip."
This applies to the sand attack as well, but I have no idea where Rei is in relation to Ampere. Is she on her left side or her right side? Or, are their heads facing the same ways, or opposite ways, is another way to say it. Is she angled at Ampere at all, parallel, perpendicular? You did a great job explaining the damage intent in the bite though, saying it'd be a nip due to the friendly spar, which helps give me more clarity as to your intentions with the attack and a good reaction, because otherwise I might go off the wall and say Rei attacked my windpipe and choked Ampere out, which would totally throw you off since that wasn't at all what you imagined.

Then your last paragraph you tie it up nicely with an emotion based reference to her history and her feelings about the spar starting. I'm definitely glad you have this, because I think concluding with something other than just attack/defense leaves a more lasting impact on the read. Attack/defense and the realism of the fight are all very important, but just as influential is the emotion and the way we organize our post.

Overall I'm shocked this is your first spar! You did great :)

Tips for handling your critical miss - sand is something that can easily trip up those unfamiliar with it. If you have any personal experience walking in soft sand, it kinda slips away under your foot as you push off it, often shortening your stride and requiring more energy to go equal distance. Deep sand especially. So, going from a standstill to a really fast movement like she did could very easily be blamed on the sand. As for damage, you really didn't take much at all, so don't play it off bigger than it is. She could just trip a bit, maybe knocked her front hooves together, maybe landed wrong and got a tiny twinge that easily fades, maybe bit her tongue/cheek biting down etc. Lots of different things you could do with this!


Okay now I haven't fought in a while so I am a bit out of practice. For instance, I'm reading through my post and I feel it lacks a bit on the emotion side. Part of this is because Ampere sucks at playing nice and controlling herself - most of her fights are pretty intense, anger driven battles. However, what I need to do is use that weakness, and make it my strength. Is Ampere having a hard time keeping the spar friendly because of the heat of the moment? Is she overly cocky since Rei missed and hurt herself? Is she not taking this fight seriously? Is she thankful for the fight offering her distractions from her other thoughts etc. All of that could have been included and I will try harder to do so my next post. I could, and should, go back and edit this one now to fix all that, but I already spent lots of time on it and I find it better to not over analyze and over edit, just personally.

Okay so I start with some emotion - Ampere finds Rei nice, and shares similar thoughts with keeping the spar friendly. Yet she has some distrust. I use a cuss word to sort of show Ampere's boldness and roughness.

My second paragraph I move on to talk about their breed, height, and stat differences. I don't list them all off, because that's not the point, but I focus on a couple. For instance, they have the same height, so I comment about how that's not helpful for Ampere and how she feels about noticing that trait. I make sure it's Ampere analyzing Rei, not me.

My third post is a bit of a choppy transition, suddenly we're talking about wind. What I should have done was maybe tie in her confidence factor again, or at least in the first sentence mention the fight period, such as it's be a nice fight not only because of the cheery start, but because of the nice weather. I continue on a bit better, mentioning Ampere's energy, her desire to start, her movement and why having her continue to move is helpful. If I just said, Ampere doesn't stop moving, well that doesn't tell the reader much. If I took the time and the words to right that, why is it important to know? Well, I tell you why, and it leaves you with better understanding, which all helps make it more real.

In my third paragraph I finish off with a bit more emotion, but then I get into the grit of the fight itself. You attack, I respond. I start to explain why your attack isn't going to work, setting up my defense, and attribute it to my speed stat, which is 2 points higher than Rei's.

Fourth paragraph I expand on my defense. I got away, here's how - and I beak it down. I include the terrain, because especially when you do quick or hard moves, terrain plays a huge role. Think about asking a horse to jump on pavement, vs mud, vs sand. Think about the qualities of each different substance and how those effect what occurs on them. Use your own experiences, and anything you may have seen. For instance, you may know from playing as a kid, asphalt hurts, sand is soft. But maybe you also know from walking on the beach, sand can be difficult to walk on because it rolls out from under you, where as asphalt gives you lots of purchase. What does that mean? Sand is nice to land in, but not great for pushing off - I make up for this, but talking about some of Ampere's experience with sand, and thus her anticipation of this fault in it.

I make sure to mention timing, because sometimes people make the mistake of thinking there have lots of space and time between all these attacks and manuevers, or they expect their opponent will stand still the whole time for them to do all these moves around. I know from watching horses and having been in kickboxing, fights happen incredibly fast. They have to, otherwise you get tired fast and your injuries add up. It also gives you a range for action and reaction. Rei lunges, Ampere bucks. One thing, then the other. It's not Rei lunges, Ampere canters forward, and then Ampere bucks. That's too much time, Rei in those seconds I wasted, would have already landed after her miss, gathered herself, expected a retaliation, and changed her position. So I make sure to emphasize everything is happening fast, so that you don't think you have all this time to get away, and because I'm explaining a lot at once, I want the readers to know they're very back to back and simultaneous.

Fifth paragraph - you missed, but it would be unrealistic to say you missed so bad you came nowhere close, that'd be giving myself too much credit and yourself too little. So I give a nod to you, and I say, yeah maybe you snatched a few hairs, and you know what, it's okay that you did, because Ampere's going to slap your face with her tail now and that will make more sense because I lead the fight progression in such a way that your head is right there by her tail, and that you don't have a lot of time to move it. You still can of course, but the more realistic I can make it that you can't evade it, the harder it is for you to realistically say you did. My goal is never to force you to take a hit, but my goal is to trick you into thinking you cannot escape a hit.

A tail flick won't give me much damage though, so I go one to my sixth paragraph and there I give you a solid buck. But first, let's throw in some emotion because we haven't had much for a while and we're getting a bit too technical about everything. I generally like to do 2 attacks in a post. I think 1 is not a good idea, because you severely limit the options of your opponent. if you think by only making one attack you're forcing your opponent to take damage from it, you're wrong. On the opposite end, don't give too many attacks, thinking that the more you do the more chances you have of hitting/damaging. What that ends up doing is giving your opponent so many things to respond to, they're left with so little for themselves to do, not to mention writing that many attacks probably means you didn't describe them very well, so they're probably going to be misunderstood and a bit unrealistic.

Now 2 is not the end all be all number, but it's a good solid one to be at. I also usually try and do one softer attack, and one harder one. My goal is to make the softer one easier to dodge, and the harder one more likely to hit, however the end goal is realism so that doesn't always work out. For instance in this case being thwacked in the head by her tail is more likely since you have less time to react. if you do get thwacked by the tail, that will also probably make you jerk your head up/back, a normal response for a horse when their face is hit, which actually decreases the chances of my buck hitting. Now I knew all this when I typed it and I considered not tail smacking you, but the tail slap was such a realistic response given the scenario. Maybe with a slightly different set of attacks from you it wouldn't have been, but this is how this fight worked out. So rather than analyze this like a formula and say, oh I shouldn't do that because it won't work in my favor, I just do whatever seems the most realistic. Don't try and play the rubric, don't try and win. Just try to make an awesome, easy to read, well described, realistic fight, and you're golden.

Anyway I'm getting off track - paragraph 6 I finish off the gritty part of the fight by describing what Ampere does after her attacks. Sometimes you may not always have this luxury depending on what move you tried to pull and how many words you have, but in this case I did. I don't just want to end with bucking at you, because then i'm keeping myself right next to you, which is a prime target for more attacks. No, like I said int he beginning, keep moving! So I explain that Ampere canters forward. This doesn't mean you can't catch her, you could be hot on her heels, or you could be standing back to regroup - personally I don't like standing back to regroup very often, because the further you let Ampere get away, the more you let her keep moving while you stand, the harder it will be for you to write a realistic attack that she can't dodge. That's why a starting attack always sucks, because the fight isn't in motion yet and they're usually easier to dodge. Even if you hadn't gotten a critical miss, I would have at least dodged your sand attack because it was the first one, so Ampere was ready, she was moving, etc.

7th paragraph and into the 8th I get more emotional, but it ends up being more wordy than feely. I admit, i started reaching my word limit here so it got a bit clumsy. Of course I went back through to tweak things and proof read, but even so. I tried to lead the fight in a direction I want to go. I try to make you seem like you have no choice but to run off and fly with Ampere, or be left standing with no one to attack, but again, it's an illusion. I make a tiny inclusion, "so long as she wasn't impeded". That right there means everything that follows, doesn't happen if Rei comes forward before Ampere throws herself off the cliff and attacks/stops her. Whether or not it works isn't up to you, but trick me into thinking it does, make it so realistic I can't reasonably jump off the cliff, and then I won't.

Now you have a few options to reply here, some of which I kinda went over in regards to pursuing Ampere immediately, or staying back, and impeding ampere, or jumping into the sky with her and pursuing her in flight.

If you're following her immediately, you can try to bite her butt, but you might get kicked again. You could try to come alongside her more and bit her side, less kick dangerous. You could try to ram/unbalance her - all those are the main attacks for on the run/chase based attacks. They're not the only ones of course, but they're common ones.

If you're staying back, well honestly as I said you probably won't have much success, and would probably need to join her in the sky. But what if you don't want to? Well you don't have to, but it will make attacking her much more difficult, which I'm well aware of. It's part of my illusion - yes you still have control to stay on the ground, but is it in your best favor? You do have options, but again i've talked enough as is I can't rattle off every possibility, not like I know them all anyway.

And finally if you fly off with her and pursue her in the sky, you could do similar ground chase attacks, you could cut her off, could dive bomb her, just whatever you do don't attack from below because then you're asking to be kicked in the head - really I'd have no other choice but to!

The next ones probably won't be so long now that we've gotten some of my basics out of the way :P


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