"Where brilliance is good and madness is better..."
Helovia Info
Helovia opened in February 2012! We are an active fantasy equine RPG
Where once the world narrowed into naught but gray dust and desolation, the gods called for life. Wielding the elements of fire and light, dark and wind, earth and water, spark and time, they have created Helovia. The realm is set within the mythical globe of Loorien, a planet rich with all variety of creatures and blessed with all manner of magic. Originally populated by nomadic, tribal characters, they've since grown into massive empires saturated with culture and history. Separated into four distinct segments of Helovia, called "The Regions," each band of horse strong enough and capable enough, took up the power and responsibility of leadership. Unicorns, old, wise and mysterious, took to the north, hidden in forests of mists and shadows and rarely making themselves known beyond their cliffs of the World's Edge. Equines, vast, organized and militaristic, split into two, one group went north to the Windtossed Foothills and the other group went south to the Dragon's Throat. Pegasus remained nomadic, making their homes in various parts of The Wilds in a migratory manner. For many generations, the land was peaceful and calm, but peace was never the way of the gods. With a clash of argument, war and bloodshed massacred Helovia, and in the aftermath, the realm was eerily quiet. Now, as newcomers sweep into this land, they are met with the lingering bitterness of the gods and the struggle to reclaim what was lost. Nothing remains safe or certain while sorcerers and soldiers alike brood and bide their time for revenge, honor and glory.
Site Wide Plots
Kaos :: The Beginning of the End ☼ - 6/2017 - Kaos placed Helovia in a time-bubble for a short period of time, but the Helovian gods are fighting back. But Kaos is powerful- far more powerful than anyone thought. This may be the beginning of the end of Helovia as we know it.
Kisamoa :: A New Kind of Kaos ☼ - 3/2017 - Kisamoa asks Helovians to help him restore the Spectral Marsh. Which side will you choose?
Invasions :: All Out War ☼ - 5/2/16 - New layout and the brand new invasion rules are up! Thank you for your patience and we look forward to getting started with this new adventure.
The Rift :: Gods Do Die ☼ - 8/2015 - Helovia Gods are saving the Rift from corrupt gods! Can Helovians band together against these foreign deities?
The Literal Ship ☼ - 2/8/15 - Oh no! You have to pair up for Valentine's day!
Sky Island :: Murder ☼ - 10/25/14 - Vesta has been found dead on the island, and the gods have called to you to solve the murder!
Sky Island :: Peace ☼ - 7/7/14 - An island has appeared in the sky! Clouds carry Helovians from the Veins to the sky.
Restoration :: We Welcome the Dawn ☼ - 9/21/13 - The sun has finally risen on this day, giving the land new light, but the Time God and the Sun God have yet to be seen.
Endless Night :: Broken Magic Plot ☼ - 8/30/13 - The earth god has returned and is walking across Helovia to heal the land. Every area can now be considered lush and prosperous, but the sun has still not risen.
☼ - 7/19/13 - The moon has risen in the sky, heralding the return of the Goddess of the moon. Lamp trees which light the paths have grown brighter, moon flowers which grow in dark places have begun to grow and prosper and the world is brighter, filled with a new hope.
Endless Night :: Dead Magic Plot ☼ - 6/22/13 - The gods of Helovia, in order to protect the world, have disappeared into the rift, leaving the world sunless, moonless and magic-less in their absence. Only the herdlands have a source of light, but lamp-trees with glowing leaves and branches sporadically line the popular roads and paths from place to place.
Doppleganger Plot ☼ - 6/20/13 - The God of Time is still struggling to close the rift though which the dopplegangers have come. He has requested that his brothers and sister assist in closing this hole, but without knowing why it opened, the task is proving difficult. Magic still remains faulty and hard to control, but the herdlands continue to be places of refuge for those who are fortunate enough to call these lands home.
ORANGEMOON cools off the lands with a a viscious force. Colder than normal, a sign of things to come during Frostfall, Helovia is bathed in a rich tropical lushness - albiet a cold one. The coastlines of the Dragon's Throat are pelted constantly by tidal waves, and the desert climate is humid but chilly. Ice begins to form early in the Aurora Basin leaving the winding trails slick and dangerous. The mists of the World's Edge coat everything in a glistening crystalline shine which encourages mould to grow everywhere. The Spectral Marsh is the only area which remains fertile, blissfully temperature and lush.
Cotm
Character of the Month for
June, 2017
WEAVER, Corporal of the Aurora Basin, is a relatively recent addition to Helovia and has taken it by storm. Branded with the seal of Death on her chest, intrigue and interest follow both her past and present. Though she is assuredly beautiful, her sometimes sharp personality reveals that there is more to this uni-peg hybrid than meets the eye. Proving herself able on the battlefield in the Basin’s warrior ranks, we can’t wait to see her test her mettle against the looming Kaos happenings! Congratulations!
Helovia RPG was created by Tamme and Blu and coded by Tamme also known as Schwartze. All coding, palettes and imagery are copyrighted to the website and are not for use outside of Helovia. Thank you to our ServerMaster for hosting Helovia. A special thanks goes to Neo for all of her coding help and fixing Tamme's errors, Boom, for her loyal service and creation of the Time God, and to Ali for her consistent contributions and dedication.
The sun seemed to rise in its own familiar way and looking at it felt as it always had. Everything was familiar, too familiar. I didn’t feel like another man, I felt like the man I was supposed to be. Looking around, I got to see the things I’d been missing even if empty promises still hung upon every limb of every tree. Yes, I was a shell of the man I’d once been but, I had come into myself. Yes, I’d been changed but I was somehow still the same. A broken heart was nothing in comparison to the feeling of this wholeness. My home had welcomed me back and the sense of warmth that spread through me was infectious. Despite the wintry chill and the coming of the snowy season, the World’s Edge was a beautiful thing that thrived inside me, not only as a place, but as a part of myself. It was true; I missed hearing her whispers upon my gentle ear. I missed creating her visions with my own hands. But there was nothing I could do now except serve her in my own small way. I would not give up that resolve to do for this land as much as she had done for me.
Early morning rays slanted along the open meadow in shades of pink and orange and yellow. The mists hung at my legs, curling quietly around my knees as if bidding me good morning. In a moment of weakness, I lowered my face to their surface and puffed softly in acknowledgement. Fluttering softly, they parted before coming back together. I felt as though they were giggling at my attention and I smiled down at them like I would a small child. The outlying forest loomed tall despite the drying leaves that hung low on their branches. They too had been painted in autumn colors as if this was their last chance to show the world their beauty before finally giving way under the pressure of imminent death. Before me, the cliff tried to conceal the ominous rushing of the waves below… but I had grown too accustomed to the worrying of the waters as they pushed against the rock in a rhythmic song to notice it anymore. Nothing could beat the feeling of residing in the Edge. Not the heat of the sands in the Throat, not the cold of the ice in the Basin, and not the dunes of the Hidden Falls… They could never claim my heart as the World’s Edge had done. I belonged here.
I stood there in the morning sunrise contemplating many things. I thought of my past, my present, and most importantly my future. I didn’t want to hang on to hatred or hurt any longer. It plagued me in so many ways. I was an unpleasant friend, I could not function without a sense of emptiness, and I could not help but be overcome with the past and the grudges that I held for it. I knew that I had to let it go because too many people depended on me to move on,bBut it was so hard to forget all of the things that made me that way. I was terrified that I would be hurt once again if I trusted happiness or anyone that was capable of bringing me joy. It wrenched at my soul and made me a coward. It made me question who I was because I wasn’t sure who I could be without the barriers I’d built around myself. What bright, jovial man lived inside this cage? A self-imposed cage at that? It was easy to blame everyone around me, but at the heart of the matter, I was the only one to blame for the troubles I’d face and would come to face if I didn’t end my own suffering.
I wanted the freedom that everyone else seemed to possess.
It was a confidence that had all but eluded me my entire life. It was something that I knew I could find inside but refused to look for. It was devastating. It was painful. I wanted to be rid of it. As this thought touched my mind, I turned my face towards the sun as it was finally lifting into the pale sky. I wasn’t sure if it gave me hope or sealed my fate. Another day and I was still dealing with a strange feeling of loss that seemed too big for me to handle. At least this land understood me and my woes; I couldn’t bear trying to unload any of this on someone else. It was heavy burden that I feared no one would ever truly understand. An old song pressed upon my memory then, and it seemed to build in my stomach until my voice was able to sing it at the heavens. When it did come, it was soft enough for my ears alone, but it seemed to fill the void within me for a moment. A new day had come and while I often prayed for a new “me” to come with it, I didn’t hold the kind of power to re-form a body. This was something I would have to deal with and overcome with only sheer power of will.
Thor
ooc | Pretty personal piece for Thor, sorry if it's sappy. But had to get a lot of this out and for those of you who know me and Thor, he's pretty much a imitation of me. Soooo, sorry about the angst. xD
10-06-2014, 05:45 PM (This post was last modified: 10-06-2014, 05:52 PM by Murdock.)
Dawn had arrived soundlessly, the sun appearing over the edge of the world without fanfare, without so much as even the toll of a bell to announce the beginning of a new day. Murdock always thought it strange, how night could slip away across the ocean and morning could take its place, all without celebration for the return of the light. He slipped silently through the trees, following the scent of the sea deeper into the herd land toward the cliffs. He liked to walk along the edge as the sun rose, looking out across the dark expanse of water as colours changed and reflections rippled and grew. He liked to be there on the edge of the world to say good morning to the sun, to appreciate its warmth as nights grew longer and the air became bitterly cold.
Birdsong echoed softly in the trees, filling the silence between his footsteps as he wound about trunks and ducked beneath dew-jewelled spider webs toward the sound of the sea. He had grown quite comfortable in the Edge’s lands by now, having learned his way about the territory and familiarized himself with the many wonders of this beautiful place. The meadow was a particular favourite of his, though, as it overlooked the ocean and was often cloaked in a thick and mysterious shroud of mist. It appeared as though he was not the only one to enjoy its view, however, as when he arrived at the edge of the forest, he could see a shadowed figure alone amidst the tall grass.
The beast stood there in the mist, still as a statue as if frozen in place. Perhaps he was some sort of strange tree, his legs thick trunks that had sprouted from the earth and twisted together to form some curious shape resembling a horse. Perhaps he was little but bark and wood, fibers knotted together and leaves draped across his weathered back like tattered wings. But life stirred within him.
Murdock watched the beast from the threshold of the forest, steam bursting from the creature’s great nose with each breath. He was tall and thick, built like an ancient oak that had spent hundreds of years being nurtured and fed by the rich soil until he had grown strong and wise. He was an imposing figure, centered in the meadow as if on display. But what statement was he there to make? What purpose did he serve? Murdock decided to ask him, stepping out into the open and wading through the mist toward the gargantuan figure.
Hello, tree, he considered saying, but held his tongue as he drew near. Perhaps the stallion did not wish to be reminded of his arboreous fate. Perhaps he only wanted to fit in. However, as he approached, he could see that this really was more flesh and bone than wood and bark. His coat was smooth and faintly dappled, not mottled and creased as the skin of an old spruce. His mane was not thick tangles of dark moss, but silky black hair draped over the muscular crest of his neck. His wings were another matter altogether. It was plain enough to see that they were feather and down, much like his own. What was curious, though, was the size of them. How could they possibly get him off the ground?
Murdock smiled amiably as he came to a halt several feet from the stallion, pale green eyes peering out from behind curled locks of dark hair. “Good morning,” he dipped his head in greeting, mist still swirling about his legs as if irritated at having been displaced. The rose and amber light of the sun lit the stranger’s face warmly, casting an appealing glow across his thoughtful features. He could see neither happiness nor hostility within the other’s eyes, but there was a sort of sadness that hung about him as the mist that lingered over the field. “What troubles you?” He asked brazenly, tilting his head as a curious child might. It was none of his business, of course, but Murdock had never been one to recognize social boundaries.
The sea giggled just beyond the cliff and I could hear the spray of the oceanic waters climbing the wall as if their sole intent were to reach the top in order to glimpse a view of what thrived just beyond their grasp. Morning light danced upon the snow like ghostly reminders of the flowers that once grew within the tall grasses. How I missed their blooming faces peering up at me from my hooves as they brushed about my ankles, planting tender kisses against the feathering that fell around the wide base of my toes. I pondered such beauty and life for a while before letting my thoughts drift out into the vastness of the sea. It turned and thrust about, writhing and rushing in a violent dance that I’d come to know too well, one that I knew so little of in spite of my time spent calling its torrent song my refuge.
As I stood quietly observing the same sight I’d observed a thousand times over, I finally let old memories chase away any reluctance or reservations I’d held about the past. I knew it was time to let go and explore this new life that I’d been awarded, but it still felt too surreal, fake even. I possessed this second chance without consequence and it felt like a mere sham compared to the life I’d once nurtured. I’d felt this woe for too long and yet it still claimed my heart at the most inopportune of times. I should be celebrating my return! Not brooding by the sea like some lost soul… How quaint I’d become, how weak.
In mid-thought, the soft rustling of muted footfall sifted into my reverie. For a moment, I was convinced that it had been a mere figment of my imagination but when a curious voice reached into my conscious, permanently interrupting my daydreaming, I turned quickly. I wasn’t sure if I was grateful or annoyed that someone had felt the need to save me from my own self-induced, inner conflicts. But, ever the gentleman, I lowered my head slowly in greeting. “Good morning to you as well friend.” I’d never seen the queer looking stallion within the Edge before and I could only assume that he had come after my departure. He was a Pegasus, like me, but of course his luminescent appendages appeared to be of more use than the fragile, inoperable vestiges that stood a solemn reminder of my defective birth.
The stranger’s wing coloration was something I’d yet to see before in Helovia and I couldn’t help but stare openly at the pale wings resting atop his starless, black hide. There appeared to be a film of sorts layering the soft curves of each feather and when that film caught the light it cast off various pigments into the open air, each of them shimmering and dancing across my line of sight until I was finally able to suppress my curiosity and face the stallion head-on. However, as I’d somehow assumed, he detected my state of distress and brought it to life before me as if it were a physical thing that we could both plainly see. Flabbergasted, I stared at the imaginary thing standing hunched between us. If my vexations were a monster, it most certainly would have been “hunched” and it would have snarled like a ferocious beast at the two pairs of eyes accosting it now. But as I had now learned to train it, teaching it the proper façades in which others could accept it or at least ignore it, the thing retreated back into the recesses of my mind.
“Ah, just recalling my former glory days… I’m Thor by the way. I don’t think we’ve met before…” Motioning eagerly to my left, I invited the other man to join me as I returned my attention back to the sea. She was stretched out before us and dancing openly to her own rhythmic song which made the sight of her seem altogether worthwhile in spite of the cold gale that was sent up from her depths. She laughed and sputtered and sang in the midst of our conversation and while I wanted to pay her the consideration she so deserved, I was too occupied with company. “Do you have any glory days in which to share young friend? I’m certain that a man such as yourself has seen pride in his day.” Though the remnants of my previous brooding still touched my words and made them wobble across my tongue, I felt no need to share yet another sob story. No one needed to revel in my past. Besides, I was quite certain that I could hide myself in theirs.
So the tree can talk, he noted with interest as a low and friendly greeting reached his ears. However, by now Murdock had decided that this truly was a living breathing creature and not some mutated growth born from the fertile soil and some dark magic. He noticed the stranger’s gaze lingering on his wings, perhaps admiring the luminescence of his feathers or simply envying the fact that his were evidently large enough to support him in flight. How terrible it must be to have wings, but not be able to fly. Had he always been this way, or had some curse shrunken his feathered appendages until they were mere decorations upon his shoulders? The latter would be worse, he decided, as if one had never been able to fly, how would they know what they were missing?
The stallion dismissed Murdock’s concerns, providing instead his name in the deep, inviting tones of his voice. It was no surprise that he had neither met nor heard of Thor, as he had not been with the Edge long and had mostly kept to himself during his time here. It was not that he was antisocial, as he was really quite the opposite, but he had felt the need to give himself room to breathe and figure out what to make of this new life. “Pleasure to meet you, friend,” he dipped his head in return, a hint of a smile playing at the corner of his lips. “I’m Murdock.”
A subtle sweep of Thor’s head to one side presented an invitation, which he wordlessly accepted. He took his place at the stallion’s side, stepping up beside him and turning so that he could see the wide expanse of the ocean spread out beyond the cliff before them .The sea was impressive and vast, black and roiling beneath the pale rays of winter sunlight. It amazed him how the water never froze over, never turned to solid ice so that one might walk across its surface toward whatever new lands lay beyond the horizon. It was disappointing in a way, as perhaps that would allow those without wings a chance to explore the greater reaches of their world.
He drew his attention away from the ocean, his graze tracing the jagged line of the cliffs and trailing over the crisp, patchy blanket of snow to where his hooves were placed evenly apart on the earth. The season was still young and the Edge had not yet been entirely encased in ice; tall grasses still wavered in the wind and brown, withered leaves still clung desperately to crippled branches. He noticed, as he stared quietly at his feet, the size of his companion’s hoof. It made him feel suddenly small and frail as he looked up at this stallion, several feet taller than himself with a build like an ox.
Fortunately for Murdock, he and Thor appeared to be on the same side. A smile reappeared on his face at the question that was presented to him, and he shifted his weight thoughtfully as he gazed out at the sea. Glory days? Perhaps he had, when he was much younger and fighting wars along with the other young mercenaries he had trained with. He had never been regarded a hero, though, never been rewarded glorious titles for his accomplishments. However, he had never desired those things; the differences he had made and the freedom he had won had been worth the fight.
He thought of the best days of his life, the times when he was truly happy and felt that nothing could possibly go wrong. Surely those were his ‘glory days’. He thought of time spent with his mother on the cliffs of his homeland, missions in foreign lands with companions who had become as close as brothers to him, cold nights spent on white plains with a certain dark and clever mare. His smile broadened. “Perhaps I am no stranger to glory and pride, but I assure you my accomplishments are small and of little note. However, you have captured my interest. What epic tales do you have to share?”
If I’d had any questions as to whether or not this stallion was friend or foe before, I no longer felt it to be an option. As the inky boy stepped up beside me I knew his heart. I could see it there upon his sleeve and he wore it well which made me all the more appreciative of his company. A friend or trusted confidante was hard to come by these days as it appeared and his eagerness made me feel more at ease. For a moment I stared out toward the sea as she cooed and gurgled at me plaintively. Time my dear, I’ll be with you in time. I smiled coyly at the one thing that had come to embody my love and devotion for the Edge before tilting a curious ear toward Murdock as he spoke. However, his words fell upon deaf ears because I refused to believe him in spite of his need to quell my curiosity with vagueness and a silent protest to recall whatever past ailed him. But I would not try to push a boulder, lest I hurt my back; so instead I let the young stallion think that I’d given up on my interest in him.
But of course, the pressure of conversation was pressed back into my waiting fingers and though I’d been in the mood to listen, I also felt the need to indulge this boy. After all, did I not have a story to tell? No matter how much I attempted to bury it or hide it, the story of who I was and who I’d been was always resting just beneath the surface. Taking a deep breath of the cold winter air, I looked over my shoulder at the colorless landscape. FrostFall had robbed it of so much and yet beauty remained. In some ways I felt the same. Hurt and sorrow had taken so much from me too, but I still thrived, still flourished in a life that was my own. “You are a sly one Murdock. Don’t think I’ll forget that you owe me your stories, but for the time being I can share a few of my own.” I smiled deviously at the dark stallion before briefly fixing my gaze upon his faintly glowing appendages.
“I do assure you that my accomplishments are few, but I was once a prideful young stud not unlike yourself. I came from a life full of unknowing before stumbling upon a great land that changed my outlook. With the help of a trusted friend and unlikely ruler, I established myself in many ways. I found confidence and an eagerness for learning- mind you, I was not so much a bright lad- but most importantly, I found strength in myself that I’d been lacking.” I laughed softly at the thought. I believed that I knew so back then, that I was some great blessing to earth and yet here I was a single face among many, each of them just as special as the next. How could I ever thank this land and its inhabitants for making me a better man?
“I was a nurse once, if you could ever believe it. I wanted to heal and mend wounds and wouldn’t you know it, I acquired a power to do so. I loved once too, though I can’t say it ended well… Let me tell you something though- such a feeling cannot be forgotten.” I looked to the stallion hoping to find recognition there. “I created a family, produced a beautiful daughter and then faced the biggest decision of my life.” I paused for a moment to breathe and look out across the ocean again, listening to her pleas and calls as they ruptured against the cliff. “This was all mine at one time Murdock”, I said gesturing back toward the World’s Edge with a nimble toss of my head. “It is a wonder that you aren’t calling me King right now, but I gave up this precious land for ignorance and shame. I ruled alongside Mirage the Dragonheart and look at us now, both suffering from self-imposed exile at some point or another.”
Chuckling cynically, I looked back to the other man with a fierce grin. “I could have been something great my friend, something great…” My thoughts seemed to travel now, lingering in the past for a moment before plucking up the present again. “My story isn’t so much about pride as much as learning to be prideful. This land, though no longer mine to rule will always be mine in heart and soul. Kaj and Kahlua are great for this land, peaceful rulers that they are… So don’t mistake my regret for resentment. I’m just beginning to put my life back together and learning to live with pride is something that one must do when recovering from loss or failure.”
Turning now to face him completely, I smiled softly. I did not seek pity here, I wanted to see recognition. I wanted to find a friend that knew me for more than the silly pretenses I used now to get me by. Many would choose to forget me as a Leader and that was more than enough for me, but I wanted one to remember me even if it was not a true memory- just a thought. “Tell me Murdock, surely now you have a prideful story. Humor me, I’m getting older by the minute. I’ve bored too many to tears and I’d like to listen for once. It could be war, it could be love, it could be loss- I don’t care.” Benignly, I turned back toward the sea, still relishing her tender calls to my heart. One day, I’d rest beside her and until then I would cherish the life I lived.
Murdock laughed softly as the stallion’s deep voice reached his ears, dipping his head slightly in defeat. Of course, if Thor shared his glorious tale, he would be obliged to do the same. He shifted his weight in the snow, looking up to the gilded treetops where branches that were layered thick with frost were reflecting the sunlight. The air warmed slightly as darkness slipped away and the meadow was bathed with light, but still he kept his wings close against his sides. He was thankful to have found company on this morning. Far too long he had spent his days wandering in solitude with little else but the trees and birds to share his thoughts with.
He listened intently as Thor shared his story, weaving memories into words and spilling his past into the cold winter air. As always, Murdock was fascinated by what this stallion had to share. So often you would meet someone new, exchange titles and mundane conversation, all without learning what tragic or wondrous tales they may have to tell. There was only so much you could read from one’s face or the way they walked, and it was a shame to miss out on what stories they might have.
As he finished, his breath billowing into a cloud of steam before his face, Murdock turned his gaze away from the wild dance of the sea. “You don’t have to be a king to be great, you know,” he tilted his head to the side, looking up at the giant beside him. Thor had accomplished much in his lifetime. To become king of any land was a success indeed, and one he had achieved. He might no longer hold the title, but his heart and his intentions were surely the same. “We have all made mistakes. You may no longer hold the rank, but you are the same man who helped and healed and ruled this land.”
As he turned away, looking out toward the dark and curving line of the horizon, the spotlight was turned onto him. His story was all of these things Thor mentioned; he had fought wars, found love, then lost it. He had seen much in his time and was unsure of how to begin telling his tale. “I was raised in a very militant fleet. For the first few months of my life, all I did was train and learn how to fight. I saw war many times, I saw my family torn apart and our land destroyed. I was captured and held captive by the enemy for more weeks than I could count. When I finally escaped their grasp, I came here.”
He realized he was sharing his deepest secrets with this stallion, practically a stranger whom he had only met moments ago. But, he felt no reason to hide the truth, and instead extended his trust to this honourable former king. “I joined a band of mercenaries shortly after arriving. Fighting was all I knew how to do and at least then I could put myself to use. We claimed the land that was once the Foothills, but the herd did not last. I found love at one time. She meant the world to me...But, as with many other things, I lost her.” Steam quivered before his face as he exhaled, the moisture gradually dispersing to leave the sea in clear view. Was she out there somewhere, beyond the far reaches of that dark and dangerous ocean?
“I joined the Edge in search of a new beginning. I wanted a family, some place to call home. I wanted to be a part of something structured again. I was General of the Foothills at one time, but I have settled for less here. I am no leader. Perhaps I could learn to be, but for now I am content to follow and offer what I can to protect this land.” His life seemed so simple when summed up like that. It was a story, just like the millions of other stories out there. It was one he had told few times, but lived over and over in dreams and memories. What he wouldn’t give to rewrite parts of his past, to change things so that he might not feel so lost now. However, there was little he could do except move forward. The future was waiting to be written and he wasn’t going to miss a page.
Daylight finally swelled above the horizon and like an impatient child she grinned gainfully toward us asking for permission to grace our skin, to keep us warm. The morning had stretched her weary limbs in order to lift the sun and I was more than delighted to be able to witness it once again as a member of the Edge. However, I was mostly changed by the company of one unexpected friend and confidante, Murdock. Though the sights and the sounds had all been things that I’d missed of this place, it was moments like these that had really begun to tug on my heartstrings. It was the assurance I found in their company that pushed my resolve and consequently my lousy pride. As my words droned away into the thinning mist, the dark stallion with the blushing wings filed the silence with his own song. However, I hadn’t expected such kindness from a nearly complete stranger. Family and duty tied us together, forced us to mingle, and yet ultimately it was down to each individual to link the ever-growing chain. Perhaps we had become just another bond in this sequence of life, but this was a bond that I was most willing to nurture.
Slowly, an appreciative smile turned the corners of my black mouth upward; of course Murdock was as wise as he was dignified. I hadn’t expected him to offer a hand when I stood before him reaching desperately for understanding. Instead, he took me in stride in his easy way, making me feel comforted despite my pathetic moment of strife. “You might just be right my friend. It’s been a while since I’ve heard something so true.” Though I still felt mildly bereft, I was content to let my mind wander to the sea as her curious laughter as she lapped away at the shores below. As it appeared, both Murdock and I took that very moment to roam and think over our lives as any male should since we often carried the many burdens of our family and our lovers and our friends. We hefted the weight of turmoil and happiness and rage, all the while still managing to perform what was expected of us as our classes required.
When the inky stallion finally broke our joint reverie, I couldn’t help but swallow a large lump that had formed upon hearing his war-tainted background. He stood before me a calm and easygoing man, a good listener, a seemingly great friend, and last but not least, he possessed the tame personality of some meager youth. Yet, the tale he wove was so sinister, so dark and deep that I instantly regretted sharing my own self-induced treachery. When he paused to take a breath and perhaps recall the images he’d probably painted within his own mind many time, I frowned slightly. He was in fact a member of the group that had defeated the Foothills and yet… he was now here in the World’s Edge. What had happened to them after the invasion? Was I even around at that time to know?
However, as he went on, I grew more and more undecided. Murdock claimed to seek a new beginning here with our family and yet, as he stated, he had settled for less. But how could that be? I knew that the ranking system was rigid, but with his history and participation in –now what was it called? The Grey?- yes, the Grey… how had he fallen so far? Perhaps we both shared secrets beyond what we cared to mention here and I could not press him for more answers, but I did have to know one thing about this mysterious warrior. “Why settle? Why come here to hide your talent when it is clear that it is meant to shine? Don’t think me judgmental because we all have our reasons, but I am curious to know why such an experienced fighter like you would not work to regain what you left behind. I suppose we share that incentive, or more so a meagerness that keeps us from wanting much more than we have, but… We should not be ashamed to want Murdock. You could be a captain my friend, so what stops you?”
Heavily, I shift toward him at the shoulders. I wanted to see the many things he dreamt of as they passed along the path behind his eyes. There was a lightness about him that inspired me and awakened a sense of confidence in me that I’d thought lost before now. I didn’t need his secrets as much as I needed to know why he kept them. So much potential and with so little outlet… How many others maintained secrets that kept them from their dreams?
It had been a long time since Murdock had been able to watch the sunrise, and longer still since he had been able to watch it with a friend at his side. He had hardly known Thor an hour, but he knew the man to be decent and respectable and had already taken a liking to him. It was a comfort to know that he could find friends in the Edge, that he might have finally found somewhere he could fit in and feel home. For too long he had felt detached from the rest of the world, but here he was able to ground himself to something familiar and comfortable.
The sound of Thor’s voice stole his attention away from the sunrise, drawing his gaze upward to the tall stallion beside him. It had been a while since he had been presented with such a thought provoking question, and the gears of his mind turned slowly like the rusted wheels of an old train that had not moved for years. He had not put much thought into what rank he would receive and what rank he desired when he joined the Edge. His primary objective was to simply become a part of the herd, to leave his past behind and begin a new chapter of his life.
However, he could not uncover an answer to his question just yet. Why, indeed, had he settled for a position as a Protector when his history and experience should allow him to pursue a much more ambitious rank? He turned away from Thor, casting his gaze out to the dark and unsteady body of the sea, as if perhaps its rhythmic motion and thoughtful song might provide a reason for his decision. When he had met Kahlua, he had opened himself to her as a new man, a blank slate waiting for words and pictures to be scrawled across its untouched surface. He had forgotten himself, what he used to be. He no longer felt like the skilled captain he had once been, the powerful general who had guided students and warriors.
A soft sigh escaped his lips, golden mist spiraling into the warm sunlight that crowned the frosted treetops. It seemed as though he was drifting farther and farther from himself, as if a part of his soul had become detached and drifted off on the wind like a leaf. Not even he could recall the reasons for his acceptance of this rank. Perhaps he was tired of responsibility, simply seeking to find rest and time to regain his footing and find himself once more. Perhaps he no longer felt capable of holding power and making decisions. Everything had become such a mess; he no longer knew what to do with himself.
He turned back to Thor, seeking his gaze in hopes he would find some comfort there. He was relieved when the face he looked upon appeared to him to be the face of a friend. It had been so long since he had found a friend, since he had been able to confide in someone. “I am sorry to say I can provide no satisfactory answer to your question,” he laughed softly, shaking his head at himself. “I have become so lost that not even I can find reason behind my decisions. I have been running from my past for so long now, and I had hoped to find a new beginning in the Edge. Indeed I have found one, and I am quite content here, but perhaps for now I must not ask too much of myself. If a captain is what I am destined to be, then in time, I am sure I will find myself ready for it.”
He knew in his heart that he wished to be a captain again. Since he was a colt, he had been trained for the position and he had spent many months leading his fellow warriors into battle. It was thrilling to be at the head of the team, to conjure strategies and see your hard work and planning bare fruitful results. However, he felt as though he was not ready for such responsibility now, but perhaps he would find his confidence somewhere among the trees and mists of the Edge. He turned back to Thor, a small thoughtful smile upon his lips. “And now I must turn the question back on you. You were king of the Edge once. You still have the chance to be great and I have no doubt you were a fair and just ruler. Why have you settled for less?”
I think that everyone knows a little something or another about loss and Murdock had not been spared of it, but at least our great lady would lead us away from our past lives and into a bright future. It was true that I was changed, but he was most certainly correct to remind me that I was still utterly the same. I possessed so many redeeming qualities in spite of the shame I hefted from time to time and Murdock gave me reason to remember that. However, I was still mildly surprised to find that Murdock had no real plans to strive for what he once was. Perhaps what he had been was a version of himself that he’d wanted, and yet what he had been was not entirely all that he had envisioned. Could I blame him for his hesitancy on the topic, especially after I’d been the same way? A quirky grin bent my lips as we chuckled softly together; it was a picturesque moment that would not be replicated any time soon. With the soft morning rays dancing along our backs, we were probably a queer pair looking out of the sea and her troubled dancing but at least we were both smiling after what felt like far too long.
Friend. I was glad to say that I now had one. It was a blissful feeling that had been robbed of me when I left Helovia and though I had expected to feel it once more upon my return, it wasn’t until this very moment that everything finally made sense. I was not meant to find comfort in all that I knew, I was meant to learn to live in a life just as new to me as it was to Murdock. It would surely be an experience for us both, but at least there was one other we could call upon for favor or a mere confidante when things grew difficult. While rocking back onto my bowed hind-end, I listened intently to the dark stallion as he spoke only truth and candid answers so that I might understand him more fully- which I did. There was something in his voice that moved me and made me want to help, but there was little I could do other than to provide comfort through hearing instead of seeing.
“The Edge is a wonderful lady. I have no doubt that you will find more here than what you’ve previously seen, so I do not envy you that. However, I am envious of your ability to live and let live. I think I forgot how to do that a long time ago…” With a wistful glance at my young companion, I let my senses wander once more. I had picked up the strange habit in my formative years and had yet to break myself of it even as I’d aged. I hoped that Murdock would not find my tendencies rude, though something in his kindly manner told me that he could forgive an old stud such as myself for losing his wit here and there. In fact, as time wore on and the sun grew warmer, I realized that Murdock was willing to let me do just that.
However, when my sanity returned at whim, Murdock spun the tables back onto me in what I’d learned to be his fashion. I couldn’t help but laugh heartily though; of course he would wonder the same things of me as I’d thought of him… Though, I knew the answer to my own question because I’d thought of it many times over. With an amused scoff, I turned a full brown gaze to the starlit knight and in a knowing tone replied, “Fair and just I may have been, but a King that abandons his herd does not deserve another chance to fail them, save for the fact that the Edge now thrives under the reign of Kaj and Kahlua. I could never take my brother in arms to war over a throne that I willingly left. That kind of betrayal is not something I could exact. Perhaps I will gain favor in one way or another, but until then, I am prepared to live out my days in peaceful ignorance.” I desired so much for myself and for my brethren, but battle and tension was not part of that. With a deep sign, I quietly returned my gaze to the endless line of the horizon. Maybe I could drown myself in the colors until they were the only thing left to see.
Thor
No worries at all! Take your time dear and sorry if I'm just rambling, I wanted to get something up before the school week started again. <3
If only he could recall the reasons behind his every decision. His mind was as distractible as a hummingbird, buzzing about from flower to flower only long enough to admire its colours for a short time. He was spontaneous; it added excitement to his life and prevented him from staying in one place too long. Like a child, it took more than scheduled duties and routines to entertain Murdock. He had lived his life on the edge of uncertainty, changing his mind as fast as the weather and chasing after adventure. However, here he had found himself content. Here he did not bear the heavy weight of responsibility upon his slender shoulders and he was presented with a never ending labyrinth of trees and misty fields to explore.
He would forever deny that he was ‘slowing down’. That perhaps his age was getting to him and he no longer possessed the energy he had once had. It was true that he was not entirely the same. He felt different, no longer so driven to wander about unattached as he once had. He felt he needed somewhere to come back to, somewhere to find comfort. A part of his soul that had once provided that consolation was missing and though he wished nothing more than to chase down that piece, he did not know where to begin the search.
He nodded silently as Thor spoke, allowing his gaze to wander about the snow dusted meadow once more. He felt comfortable here as he had not felt in years. Finally, it seemed, he had found a place where he could truly relax and feel at home. The Edge was wild and strong as the sea and it reminded him of his birthplace. The herd was united by passion and dedication to each other and their leaders, and he did not feel as though their fortified structure could be so easily swayed as the Foothills’ was.
The warmth that blossomed across his dark back from the sun was a welcome change from the cold that lingered in the shadows. Frost had an annoying tendency to crawl across his feathers in the night, but in the golden light of the sunrise, it melted away as did any anxiousness he had felt. He was content to stand here at the edge of the sea, listening to its cheerful tune accompanied by birdsong and the occasional words of his companion. He was glad to be able to speak again, to exchange more than just introductions and formalities with a stranger before moving on his way.
As Thor spoke again, Murdock’s thoughts wandered to their leaders. He had never met Kaj, but Kahlua had been the one to greet him at the shattered wall of glass that defined their borders. Their Queen was fair and kind and he suspected that their King was the same. Thor, as well, was most certainly deserving of the title he had once held, but why had he left? He spoke of his abandonment as a betrayal, an act not to be forgiven. Murdock did not know why he had left the Edge, but surely he had his reasons. He did not seem the type to leave his family on a selfish whim.
“Everyone deserves a second chance,” he smiled, turning to look up at the taller stallion. The Edge had accepted him back, had they not? That in itself was another chance. He had not failed them so badly as he seemed to think; there was hope for him yet. “Surely if you returned, part of you knows that. But,” he hesitated, wondering if it was his place to ask such questions, “what brought you back to the Edge?”
A gentle breeze gusted over my shoulders as if pushing me to make a decision or at least break free of the restraints that often hindered my every conversation or intimate moment. Listening to the sea rant and rave beneath my hooves, rocking the gentle soil into dancing slowly beneath the layers of ice and snow and bringing the landscape back to life, I felt the earth shift. It sang and murmured sweet nothing’s to Murdock and I as if it were a desperate prostitute seeking payment. It wanted to break free too… I could feel it. The winter had fettered it within a frozen prison of death and decay and as it shuddered and pulsed beneath us, I could feel the Edge’s heartbeat coming back to life. It was only a matter of time before the sun revived our home sake and our bodies as well. The winter coat and the sludge and dirt that colored not only our hides but our minds as well would slough away into nothingness and warmth. I was barely able to contain my excited for such a time… it was too near to ignore.
However as my thoughts strayed, so did my conversation. It had withered away beneath the icy silence and broken up our duet into solos, but I would not have it so and as with any other moment in life as of late I took the plunge and allowed an ounce of feeling to rush my bones. Everyone deserves a second chance? I was tempted to laugh or cry… I wasn’t sure which one suited the situation more, simply because someone had taken the opportunity to believe in me. Murdock knew of my follies and yet he did not deem me a traitor or a coward, instead he saw me for what I was- and that was a beast more than capable of being who he once was. Surely there was no shame in that. Had I not encouraged him only moments before to abolish the infamy that plagued us both?
Stepping closer to the face of the cliff, I peered down below at the coursing waters. They rolled in and out, time after time and something about their consistency made me feel at ease. In a storm they flourished and on a calm summer day they paled and relaxed until death seemed imminent. They too suffered the seasons which could easily be translated as their emotions and that made them no more inhuman that I. Aware of my moment of pure ignorance, I glanced back at Murdock with an apologetic gaze. I was in no way ashamed of my behavior because I was certain that he too understood the pains it took to settle your mind into figurative retirement. We were both merely waiting for something to happen, something that would make sense of our worth and our ability. We both possessed greatness, no matter how riddled with treason or reason it was…
I waited until the very last moment to answer his question… used one last moment to avoid the inevitable. I had shared so much now that there was little else to be afraid of anymore. But I feared so much in life and Essetia had been the one thing that caused me so much grief that I could not think of her without losing myself entirely. Her presence in my life had been missed but I also knew that seeing her would cause the hate and the anger that brewed so deep within to return… not because she had bred it, but because her mother had. The resemblance was so jarring between the two that I feared seeing her would mentally break me into oblivion. Like the sea, I could be affected… but a tsunami would cause destruction and lay waste to the land. I didn’t want to be the wave that tore her apart.
The feeling had left my voice entirely as I tried to force it from my lungs. I refused to look at the jet black stud because I was afraid of what I would find there. I hadn’t only abandoned a great nation- I had abandoned my child and she was out there somewhere waiting to be found. But of course, I wasn’t sure if I ever wanted to find her. “I came back… because of my daughter, Essetia.”
Murdock was not often one to say smart things or offer words of wisdom. It was a common belief that he had little but air in his head, and though he himself believed that to be partly true, there was evidently something else hidden up there between his tall ears. He wore the title of “Crazy” with pride, though he knew it did not truly reflect who he was. He was thoughtful and curious, seeking to learn whenever possible and hoarding knowledge like treasure. He found purpose for himself in the happiness of others, found motivation in their smiles and so he strove to not only improve life for himself, but those around him as well.
When he offered kind advice to Thor, his newfound friend, the words were sincere and true. His reward was the thoughtfulness that seemed to posses the former king. His expression became wrought with indecision but that indicated that he was no longer settled, that he had begun to think and consider Murdock’s words and perhaps something good would come of the young Protector’s encouragement. He watched with a lopsided smile as his companion stepped closer to the cliff, staring down into the wild waters stirred by the bitter wind as if he might find answers within the shadowed depths.
Personally, the sea both terrified and intrigued Murdock. It was deadly and powerful, as unpredictable as the sky and even more unforgiving. However, he stepped up to the taller stallion’s side, joining him at the snow crowned edge of the cliff to stare down at the frothy crests of the waves. He met Thor’s apologetic gaze with a patient smile, exhaling softly into the frozen air.
His next question left his friend silent once more, his hesitation filled with only the steady crashing of the waves against the rocks. By now, the sun had climbed high above the dark treetops, sitting contently in the blue sky and smiling down with warmth across the snow-dusted meadow. Frost glittered in the sunlight, pale clouds rising above the dark horizon like the peaks of icy mountains. Murdock thought absently of the mountains, how he loved and missed them and wanted little more than to visit them again. But, the north harbored dark memories for him and he was unsure he could ever bring himself to return.
When Thor’s voice finally broke the silence once more, Murdock directed a curious gaze toward his companion. He had returned for his daughter, but what of the foal’s mother? Had she left as well? Or was she still here somewhere in Helovia? He decided it best not to ask, not for now, anyways. Perhaps that was a wound that should not be opened, and so the Protector held his tongue. Certainly Thor would have mentioned her if he wished to speak on the subject.
“You have a daughter?” It was less of a question than a statement, a hint of surprise evident in his voice as he looked up at his friend. “Is she here in the Edge as well?” Murdock had never thought about having children. It was a difficult thing to consider when he was practically a child himself; mentally, anyways. However, he supposed it would be a rewarding experience, to see something that is somehow a part of yourself grow and learn. He doubted his abilities as a father and teacher, though, but Thor seemed the type to fit both roles perfectly.
Did she wear her mother’s eyes? Did she don her mother’s smile? Did she possess her mother’s heart? I feared what I would find in my own daughter and I was therefore too weak to face her; how tragic and self-deprecating… so much so that I’d reduced myself to ashes after imploding; I was all too familiar with hitting the self-destruct button before even taking a chance on life. I was just another Tale of Sinuhe choosing to run from the fight in order to save myself and just like the fictitious traitor, I had returned seeking forgiveness and wealth. It was frustrating, deploring… I once a damn legend I tell you. What had happened to pride? My glory?
After all, my name was never whispered upon curious tongues nor was it caressed greedy ears. Perhaps I was just a joke. Perhaps I was just a washed-up child prodigy, too aged to revel any longer my fifteen minutes of fame. I was a legend no more and as for my legacy… well it was up in flames, burning in hell with my memory while my daughter gallivanted through life hoping to blot me out with a toss of her head. I assumed it was fate to know such suffering and grief, but how long would one have to deal with the ramifications of a mistake before it became dwelling? As the thoughts wrought and roiled through my mind, I tried my best to maintain a sense of awareness if only for Murdock’s sake.
I was quickly losing myself to the day as the warmth along my back made my lids hover heavily near sleep; it wouldn’t be long before the haziness of sadness and wholehearted longing overcame me, and somewhere in the depth of it all I felt the need to be alone. I was grateful for my friend’s company, but sometimes it was best to let sleeping dogs lie. Peering back at the stud with a woefully apologetic stare, I nodded slowly before saying, “My only child as a matter of fact. She was just a filly when I left the Edge. I imagine she’s a bright, young mare now… However, I haven’t seen her upon returning and I can only assume that she’s wandered off, surely harboring great hate in her heart.” For me .
At times I would ponder what she would say to me, what she would think of me… or worse, what she wouldn’t. With the sea roaring incessantly before me, I shook my heavy face in order to remind myself of whom and where exactly I was. Of course I would find her again someday and I’d be none the worse for wear because of it. However, the burden of my guilt had made me weary and speaking of my only child without knowing truly if she were alive and well made me foggy. Everything around me appeared to be shrouded in mist and not the friendly, giggling mist of the edge… it was a dark, dense fog that wrapped around my shoulders and squeezed into my lungs until I felt I couldn’t breathe.
Turning away from Murdock and the great lady that washed up along the rocks, I paused searching for the words that would eventually lead us all back together. “She’s out there somewhere my friend. It’s just a matter of time before you meet her, you’ll see.” Slowly, I stretched my thick face around to face the inky stallion, now my only true friend and said, “Thank you Murdock. You’ve done too much for me… entirely too much. You’ll be seeing me again, but I think I need a rest. Memories don’t sit easy within a tired mind.” With that, I made a resolution to resume our conversation another time, if only to see him again and prove the value of our newfound friendship. I’d unloaded so many problems unto him that I felt I needed to bear some of his in return. That day would come… it had to. I owed this stallion so much already.
Thor the Gentle Heart
OOC| I figured we could end this here and eventually get a new thread going either with he and Thor again or Murdock and Essetia?
Silence filled the space between words and questions and Murdock couldn’t help but fear he had opened up a subject that would have been better left undisturbed. He could tell that Thor had a great deal to think about when it came to his daughter, and he watched the taller stallion’s expressions change like the surface of the ocean. Clearly, he missed her, as Murdock himself missed his mother and father and every other creature he had come to love. But, like Thor, he had lost them too.
Why did it have to be so easy to lose touch with those you care about? Why did the world have to be so big, so vast, as to swallow up faces and memories and condemn them to shadows that were forever beyond your reach? Murdock knew he would search every inch of this planet if only to turn up some sign that the family he left still existed. But, what would be the point? They were gone, most likely, and he was here. He had found new friends, a new home, a new family. Though they could never replace what he had lost, he could not afford to lose them too.
He turned back toward Thor as he spoke, blinking against the bright gaze of the sun that had now climbed high above the treetops. Murdock shook his head softly, turning back toward the cliffs and the ocean and the endless world as if they might provide him with the words he sought. “You do not give yourself enough credit. I am sure your daughter loves you still, just as I am sure the inhabitants of this land still harbor respect for you within their hearts. You may have left, but you have returned. That shows great courage,” he smiled thoughtfully, shifting his head into the shadows behind Thor’s great figure to shelter the sunlight from his eyes.
He met Thor’s gaze as he turned to face him one last time, searching his friend’s tired eyes as he spoke heavy words into the cold air. He had known love and loss, the comfort of companionship and the painful heartbreak of abandonment. He would never forget the feeling, how it had haunted his mind and extinguished the light in his heart that kept him burning. It was a wonder he had been able to go on, though hope had always kept his head up and his feet moving. But losing a daughter had to be all the more damaging.
He could not imagine how difficult it must have been for the former King to return, hoping to find forgiveness and open arms to welcome him back into the Edge, while at the same time worrying for the safety of his daughter, though her name seemed to rouse mixed emotions. “Of course,” he replied softly, dipping his head with a warm smile. “You know where to find me, my friend,” he stepped away from the larger stallion, moving toward the forest and allowing him space in the sunlit meadow as daylight swelled and claimed the lands. His heart felt lighter now, eased by the words of a wise mind, wise as the trees themselves, and he knew it would not be long before he spoke to Thor again.
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