"Tell Me Something Sweet To Get Me By"

Despite the recent numerous events that would typically cause Jahzara to go into a complete mental breakdown, returning to the heart of her new home had managed to help her keep hold of what little sanity she seemed to have left. The spotted palomino found a source of comfort residing in the World’s Edge that she had never felt in homes prior. No longer did she feel confined against her will, trapped in place where she hated herself and her surroundings. Oh how she wished her son could see this fascinating place! But she knew Kiros belonged in the his birth herd, as the rightful heir to the thrown it was only natural for him to stay behind. Part of her almost felt guilty that she had managed to find another safe place that excluded him, whilst the other part was joyous that she had found a place where she felt she belonged.

New friends and acquaintances had done wonders for her self esteem and the success of her mentality, yet even Jahzara was surprised that she was not currently locked away in the depths of her mind. The thought alone sent a shiver down her spine…Or maybe that was the cold? No matter, she had more important matters to attend to at the moment. Auds pricked at the call from her King, and a cheerful smile graced her lips as she redirected herself towards the herd meeting. Settling among the group that had surrounded their leaders, she angled herself so her healthy brown gaze was turned towards them while she listened. Beside her, the hallucination of her best friend formed through the mists. The little purple pony couldn’t miss out on the meeting either, right? Absolutely not! Jahzara glanced down to Lily, offering a quick smile before they both returned their attention to the King and Queen.

The Arabian cross was pleased to hear about more potential alliances, but in truth was a little leery of putting trust into other herds that she was not a part of. Auds pricked at the mention of their Goddess, smiling at each of the recipients that received a prize before herself. At the mention of her own name, the golden vixen was taken aback. Even Lily looked wide-eyed up at her friend, but soon the spunky illusion offered a beaming smile. ’Way to go, Jay!’ Dipping her dished muzzle as she felt the wind dance around her, honored at receiving such a reward from the Goddess, and she knew that she would have to spend time carefully thinking of what she wanted. Jahzara wanted to be sure that whatever design she picked would be a beautiful addition to her coat, as well as a respectful representation of the Goddess of the Moon.

Soon the announcements of rank changes were being made, and once again, the vixen was surprised to hear her name called. For the first time since she was a child, Jahzara felt a swell of pride rise within her chest, and she pictured the violet pony rearing up beside her in a congratulatory burst of emotion. ”I would be honored for such a responsibility. You have my word that I will do whatever is possible to protect our…family.” It was the first time she had truly considered the herd her family, the first time she had expressed just how at home she felt in the World’s Edge. Yes, she had yet to meet everyone, but Jahzara had an understanding that everyone was important. No being would be left behind, forgotten, or disrespected. Looking around her to study each face that had joined them, a the wave of emotions that washed over her were unexplainable. She only knew a handful of her herd mates, but she loved them all. None of them had rejected her for her quirks. None had scolded her for her oddities. None had belittled her for her beliefs or fears. They were her family, and she swore to herself at that moment that she would do whatever she could to offer her assistance in protecting them.

While Jahzara took the time to memorize each of the members surrounding her, a single aud flicked to realize that her Queen was now speaking. Immediately the palomino returned her attention to the very first equine she had ever met upon entering Helovia, beaming at her friend like a child with an A+ sticker on her report card as if to say ‘I did it!’ When the Sunshower announced the Moon Doctor, it seemed as though a number of her fellow herdmates glanced back to petite mare hiding in the shadows. Following their gaze, Jahzara’s heart cried out for the mare, knowing quite well how it felt when it seemed like you had failed everyone surrounding you. Silently the newly appointed Specter hoped that the mare would see that she was not a failure in the long run. Perhaps she could meet with her sometime later? Jahzara hated to see anyone upset, but the chance to attempt cheering her up would have to wait as Archibald’s deep voice caught her attention.

As the Captain described the horrific imagery that they had witnessed, Jahzara began to retreat into herself. That day was a living nightmare, and her golden ears flicked back into snowy tresses at the memory. The pride she felt moments ago vanished as she lowered her crown, both in fear from the fatal omen, and mourning for the thousands of innocent birds that suffered that day. ”It was horrible…It’s like they tried so hard to escape something…And-“ The scarred mare couldn’t bring herself to finish her sentences, tears welling up in her eyes and quickly she shut them tight. Perhaps some would think she was over-reacting and getting too emotional for a bunch of birds, but they had not seen it. To be unable to see the earth because it was covered in a mass of black feathers, death rattling them as they pleaded caws for mercy. Oh how she felt their suffering, and the memory alone caused risk of pulling her back into the mental abyss. The palomino could feel the formation of a massive black shadow forming, Charles. His raspy voice called out to her, beckoning her to follow him into the safety of her mind once more. ”I don’t want to go, Charles…” She whispered under her breath.

Before Jahzara was pulled away into her mind, the imaginary pony beside her brushed against her leg lovingly. ’Don’t go there Jay, stay here with us…Your family needs you here, don’t go away…’ Her words overpowered the dark figment, and it was as if the Goddess herself sent the winds through the hallucination to turn him into nothing other than wisps fading away. As she opened her eyes, Jahzara looked at the face around her, and realized that her best friend was right. Quietly, she thanked her friend before raising her crown to a more respectable level. Most of them would have no idea what happened, most of them wouldn’t even realize that she was talking to a figment of her imagination, save for Kahlua. There was a chance that the Sunshower would catch it, notice the inner battles she was fighting, being the only one to know about Charles from their initial meeting.

As though her Queen knew that a change of subject was needed, Jahzara was grateful for the distraction of a new topic. Still trying to stifle her sniffling, Jahzara gave a nod towards the Queen at the mention of games and the help needed for them. Though she wasn’t sure how she could help, she was positive that she wanted to try somehow. ”I will help as well.”



"Talking"
'Hallucinations speaking'

OOC: Whoa, that was a lot longer than I expected...

JAHZARA