Naira..

Whispers surround me, everywhere. They make the world spin, and they lock the world out. 'Bar the doors! Lock the windows,' they yell. And then they go back to whispering. Jumbled, mixed words I cannot make out. I try to catch them here and there, but I can never quite hold onto their words. They are here always, they don't leave. They only hush for a while when ordered to.

They make me see things too. Horrible, twisted things that are never really there. It makes me sad that nobody can see these things, I want them to. I want someone to see that it's their fault, not mine. They've taken my brain over a long time ago.

But what if they scare those who see them? They sure scare me. They're monsters, demons, twisted images that I can never make out. I don't understand. Why? Why why why? Why me, why did he have to take me. I'm not good at anything, he's said so himself. He said so every fucking day. He reminded me that I'm a worthless piece of shit that nobody would ever love. He reminded me that I need him. His protection. He reminded me, every single day for years, decades is what it felt like. It would never end; I used to think. Never never never.

Yet, here I am. Saved from his clutches and cruelty. But now I think. I think; am I ready to be my own master? Can I really protect myself? Maybe I don't even think these things. Maybe it's them. The voices.

I hush them now, they leave my head spinning. The night is quiet, lonely. But I prefer to roam in the night. When there is nobody to judge me or hurt me. When I can grieve alone, so that nobody can see how weak I really am. The sadness is extra heavy tonight, and my pale head hangs low. The sun is near, I can sense it. Feel it. Soon the day will come, and it will burn my skin and I'll flee from all eyes.

But for now, I wait. Something is coming. What? I'm not sure yet. But once again I am consumed by whispers, and I start to rock and hum. It confuses them, blocks them out a little. But not tonight. No, tonight it angers them, and the hissing gets worse. They spit furiously inside the cage of my mind, and I panic. Rock a little faster, hum a little louder. It's not helping.

It's not making them go away. What if they consume me completely, never letting me go? What if...what if I will never see the light again?

Yet, none of this is true, for I truly am not innocent. I truly do not care for the light. Even if I wish someone would love me, it's nice to wish every once in a while. But then there's the place in my mind where the voices do not follow. But to go there, I must be kind, I must care. And I will never, ever care again.

And so, I wait.

"Speech"
Tag;; @[Vale]

Winds of change...

VALE

The dark waters of the mind slowly fill, blocking out the light. His eyes may blaze forth with the glory of a golden sun but beneath the silent surface darkness consumes the light. A face as black as death holds no conviction towards others, his broken crown and honeyed words the only weapons he needs. He can feel it slowly, fingers colder than ice burning their way through his tainted soul.

Would you still recognise me mother? Still love me?

Snowflakes drift down from the heavens, their silent path falling with graceful simplicity. Picked up from the soft breath of wind to flutter in a new direction as they dance and fall, dance and fall. The hunters’ eyes watch as they fall around him, pinpricks of white against the black landscape. He stands in the darkness before dawn, a moment when the earth holds its breath waiting for the light of day to chase away the monsters. Could light really ever chase away such clinging grasping voices? His halo slips slowly down his face and Vale wonders as he stands beneath the canopy of fading stars if he should just let it clatter to the ground; let him be taken over by this darkness he could feel staining his soul. It would be so easy, so easy to just let it all go and rip off the mask of deception to reveal what an ugly tainted mess he was beneath.

Soft lilting notes of a song fill his mind, quietly at first but growing in memory until it’s all he can think about. He remembers it, remembers being a young, eager colt watching on as his mother twirled and spun, dipped and danced her way around.

See darling? It’s not hard, you try

His present self, lifts a hoof, placing it carefully back to the snow. He pivots suddenly, muscles contracting. At first the dark boy staggers out a few steps but he quickly gains momentum and grace, letting memory be his guide. And then he’s dancing, beautiful steps full of reminiscence and loss and anger. A dance to burn out the darkness, to bring back the light. But just as suddenly he stops a boned hoof paused in time and he sighs, dancing wouldn’t bring his mother back and the oncoming dawn would not burn his insides, just his skin, warmth only reached so far down.

The intuitive sense of another being occupied his thoughts, some else shared the silence with him. He cast his golden gaze to the churned snow beneath his weight, denying his previous movements would only be more effort than it was worth; instead he called into the night, his gaze burning ahead.

“Why don’t you come on out little one? The night is such a cold dark place, no point in hiding your face”

@[Naira]



"Talking"

Naira..

A voice on the wind, whispering and haunting, is what finally hushes them. I look around, confused. Where had it come from? Whose was it? Perhaps it's someone I know, or knew. A long lost friend that has finally caught up. If only I had one of those. Would things be easier? Would this impossibly heavy strain rest upon my shoulders, haunting me day by day? Yet, the hardest part is not knowing what the strain is, or what's caused it.

It's just...there. But it burns, it's cool. It's hard, it's soft. It's heavy, but so light. It's strange, unreal. And then there's her. well, she's not here anymore. I felt her presence slowly fading in the last time, yet somehow I knew it was going to happen. She was just another soul bound to leave, abandon me.

A breeze picks up, bringing a scent with the cold. It's strange, like I can not quite figure out who it belongs to, but it's so familiar. I put down my head and wander after the scent. I stop when I finally see him though. Vale. Ah, an old...friend. If anybody could ever deserve that title. And that makes me wander, is there really even a thing such as a friend? Probably not. Maybe for some.....

A soft, utterly beautiful voice whispers a lullaby in my ear as the sun breaks over the horizon, and for a minute I stop to look at it's beauty.

But then I move forward once again, approaching the darkling from the back. I stop next to him. "I do not hide. As you said, hiding is pointless. You'll just be found in the end. And you? Why are you out at such an unlikely time? Running from your demons perhaps?" I say, although my voice is hollow.

I am yet to figure the monster-eyed one out, yet to read him. But I find the characters of this land hard to read, and I'll leave it for now.

Dawn brings some peace, and I shall not disrupt it.

"Speech"
Tag;; @[Vale]

Winds of change...