the Rift


In the land of Gods and Monsters [earth god]

Destry Posts: 95
Hidden Account atk: 5.0 | def: 8 | dam: 5.5
Mare :: Hybrid :: 16 hh :: 4 years HP: 63.0 | Buff: NOVICE
Yseult :: Royal Zephyr :: Roc & Wakiya Dark
#5

destry</style>

I was an Angel
Living in the garden of evil
Screwed up, scared, doing anything that I needed
Shining like a fiery beacon</style>


He asks a question I did not expect, his words piercing my heart like a spear, twisting and grinding into the numbing organ. Had I willingly led her into danger? I hadn't known about what would happen if we stayed in the Veins, surely she didn't know either. But that isn't the point. I did let her get hurt, and at that thought shivers travel down my spine, ears flicking back. "I never meant to hurt her—" My words fall from my lips, flawed and broken just like my being.

I nod in understanding as the God claims he will be inquiring knowledge from me, probing deeper into my twisted mind. I do not intend to lie to the God, so I have nothing to fear. I look at him, awaiting the first question. When it comes, I open my lips to respond with a few seconds of hesitation. "She is called Aurelia, I referred to her as my lover— only because I did not want to burden you with my issues and who they've ensnared—" I pause to glance at my hooves before carrying my gaze back to the God.

The second question falls without hesitation from the darkened lips of the Earth God. I straighten myself a little, trying to think of a reason. "Well.. I didn't really mean right then and there, but in the future. I've always wanted a family of my own—" I inhale deeply, letting out a heaving sigh as I remember what happened with my own family. "I want to raise a child, maybe for the pure joy of knowing I helped create such a thing, but also to reassure myself that I'm not going to let anything happen to my family, that what happened before won't happen to us. And maybe Aurelia wants kids in the future too—" I can feel the burning sensation of the knot growing in my throat, thinking about my father, the blood pooling against his limp body. And Delinne, abandoning me, showing she got over my father quickly. I want to prove to myself that I am not like her, to prove to everyone that I am not her.

All thoughts crash and burn as soon as the third question is dropped. My maw opens and closes as I struggle to answer. My eyes fall to the earth and I feel the knot grow, bobbing as I open my maw. "Well— I'm not sure." I feel the longing in my heart, the twisting of my gut, I can't tell what it is. I really care for her, and she cares for me, doesn't she? "She told me she loved me— and she took me to her home—" My words are shaky, unsteady voice ringing from my trembling lips. Did she play with my heart? My eyes grow wider at the thought of Aurelia running away with someone else, laughing at my stupidity. I shake my head, trying to deny it. No, she wouldn't— she couldn't. "Why would she leave me? She wouldn't gain anything from breaking me—" I stutter, the tears leaving my eyes. She would gain pleasure while I crumble— but she wouldn't dare. But what if she would.. what if she's just hiding her hatred beneath sugar-laced lies?

I've barely recovered from the last question before another is fired at me, my eyes rising from the trees in the background where the singing birds still perch. I don't know the answer to this final question, why had I called for the Earth God rather than the Throat's patron God? Was it because I was still stuck living in the Hidden Falls? Where my spirit remained, attached to the land of heartbreak rather than in the Throat, the land of new beginnings. Or maybe it was something more? How am I supposed to respond to a question I do not know the answer to? Maybe I was closer to the Earth God in a way— or maybe because I was afraid of speaking to the others because they aren't as kind-hearted as the Earth God? Slowly it dawns upon me, and my soul shatters at the thought. "Maybe because a part of me is still clinging to the Hidden Falls, wanting to go back and do it all again. Maybe it's because I'm still hoping that I'll see my mother and brother approaching me, my mother still in love with my father despite his absence. Or maybe he'll be there with us—" I can feel the tears slip down my cheeks, leaving coal black stains running down my face. "But that's not want I want, not anymore." I think about Aurelia and I instead, walking side by side with those same two foals I saw earlier leaping beside us with bright, twinkling eyes. My heart and stomach flutter in sync at the thought of such a scene playing out before me. Maybe I could achieve it, maybe I could find that pure happiness my mother and father once wore upon their faces when we were a little family, together at last.
"Talking"

ooc using my votg pass to get destry the one time ability of being able to impregnate another mare c: | wordcount 869 | tags -


image by aling_ @ flickr.com
lyrics belongs to Gods & Monsters by Lana Del Rey</style>

we all look for heaven and we put our love first
somethin' that we'd die for, it's our curse


Messages In This Thread
RE: In the land of Gods and Monsters [earth god] - by Destry - 11-09-2014, 12:29 PM

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