i won't be saved

the shadows are gone, leaving me stumbling blindly with my body aching and eyes flickering forth to find nothing but echoing screams and splashing crimson. the earth stained in deep red, pools of it gathering in the corners of my vision as i watch with horror as the shadows leap to midas, clawing and tearing viciously in an attempt to injure. my body trembles, my eyes wide as i watch with horror. in the instant they're upon midas they peel away, dispersing. the silence grows, my body prepared to collapse as my heart pounds furiously, eyes wide with fear and my mind anxious for another attack. sameira remained at my heels, snarling and snorting with her lip curled up in a sign of aggravation.

and just like that, the shadows return. they are strong, wailing and crying as they drag seele by the hair, and my body tightens and my knees shake. i watch as they tear her apart, her blood spilling over the earth before my hooves. i try to move, i try to run to her, to flap my wings and scream at the beasts that crawl over the ground to reach her, black fingers peeling away at her flesh, her bones snapping and crunching. my skin tingles, my stomach knotting as i hear the sound of flesh torn and pulled from snapping, breaking bones.

it seems like forever, just like a dream, watching seele's body being torn apart, my mouth gaped open in a silent scream and legs stuck to the ground. sameira yips at me, panicked towards the emotions that begin to erupt from me as i watch seele's bay crumble, legs swept from beneath her. "SEELE!" my cry is broken, emotions tumbling from my lips and smoldering the words i try to speak. i race to her side, stumbling forward and crashing onto my knees with my vision blurred and body burning with rage and fear, my anguish ringing out in a long, heart wrenching cry that falls from my lips. i look at her, sobbing as i meet her dulling amber eyes, turning to look pleadingly at reizend and midas. "please you have to help her! please! she needs a doctor! someone get a doctor! don't just stand there! HELP HER!" my voice cracks, lungs heaving as my throat closes up, body trembling uncontrollably as i look at seele. she can't die, i can't accept it. call me selfish for saying it, but i need her. i can't live without her. she's my mother, and if she dies that means that i've lost them both. gods please help me. "you'll be okay, you'll be okay." i don't know whether i was telling myself that or if i was telling seele, but in either situation i know it won't help.

as her words are spoken, my name falls to her lips for what will likely be the last time. i watch midas go to her other side, wing opening before her with the metallic clinks of metal folding inward the only sound to be heard for several heart beats. burying my head into the bloodied tufts of her mane, my tears falling from my eyes as i open my mouth to let go a gross wail, throat tight with sorrow and pain. "i can't lose you, please don't go." i whisper, choking up my words with long drawls of gasping in between. in a childish voice, one resembling a child calling for her lost mother, i let a name slip out, a name that seele deserved. she holds true to the name, even if she believes she doesn't. the name falls from my lips pleadingly, begging for her to stay and be with me in just a single name, "mommy."

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