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12-27-2014, 10:25 PM
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Resplendence
it's what you feel but can't articulate outloud She wished that they had cared enough to warn her. Alysanne talks about how the herd still needed Resplendence, but she didn’t' know. It was all so confusing, and it did so little to prove to her that she was useful and necessary. "What am I going to do? Watch you heal? I cannot do much except tell them that you'll be there soon." she says, eyes shutting in desperation. Alas, she explains the nightmares that plague her. The pain because she cannot save her family regardless of the situation. She doesn't want to be alone. She can't stand to be alone anymore. It was hurting her soul and breaking her mind. And Aly's response… it hurt even more. "Either they don't know or they don't care enough to ask what's wrong. After all, I'm only here when they're broken. I'm only here when they need something. No one comes to me just to… be there." she whispered, slinking back a little. Her head held low, no pride - no joy. It was true. She had been like an object, used and thrown to the side when she no longer held a purpose. But… at least when she was being used she had felt like she served a purpose - like she wasn't completely broken and rejected, like maybe someone actually came to her because they enjoyed her presence, wanted to be by her side, wanted her to not have to be alone. She was cast aside like a broken toy, but she was getting used to it. She had never had a major role, not until she was Moon Doctor, and even then she wasn't completely sure that she was even seen as essential. Yet, Alysanne continued to speak. To try and offer opportunities to help her get through this, so that she felt even better to try and continue on with her life. She was offered something to get rid of the memories, to block them off into a corner. But… the only truly bad memory was of Rowan's death, and that wasn't really a part of her nightmares. No, her nightmares were all creations of her own mind - something that couldn't be blocked out because it was… it was ever changing. A sigh escaped her maw, body shifting ever so slightly to peer up at her from behind her forelock. "There are no memories to block. It's all creations of my mind… None of the nightmares have actually happened…" She shuddered, eyes closing for a second before reopening. "I don't think it would work… and I'm not sure there are any horrific memories to really block out if it would…" Yes. She was just the broken toy, cast to the side in a perfect toyland. |
