Pain shuddered through my back like an electric shock. It pooled deep in my gut before surging toward the surface and upwards still until it seared through my flesh like a mighty thunderbolt. A weak, trembling cry forced itself from my lips against my desperate attempts to keep it contained like a dog on its chain. It snarled and snapped against my spine until teeth, so razor sharp, broke the sensitive skin along my shoulders. I tried to fight the buckling of my legs and the breaking of my resolve but a black smoke, so thick that I was nearly blinded by it, poured outward around me until I was eclipsed by my emotions and the pain and the memories and the brokenness. It spilled from me like sin being purged in confession, even if words could not find their way to my lips. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry… My thoughts reeled endlessly around the sentiment until it was the only thing left, the only thing I could feel any longer.

A weight, yet unfamiliar to me, began to bear down upon my back like the swift hands of the Gods. I tried to stand tall, tried to regain myself as I’d tried to do so many times before but the putrid scent of the fog and the murky feel of its fingers forced me into submission. Down, upon my knees, I fell. My haunches locked, hoping to keep me adrift but the force persisted until they were strained and shaking beneath me, until I could hold on no longer. Each muscle pleaded for forgiveness as they gave way, bringing my body to the earth with a resonating crash. They’d given up. I’d given up. The pain took over until I had to close my eyes to it for fear that the tears would flow freely and drown me in my own sorrows.


The grief and the agony went on for what felt like hours. Each new wave ripped through me until the day had passed into night, though I couldn’t open my eyes to witness it for myself. A sickness befell me sometime late in the eve. I was certain that my throat had grown parched and swollen to keep my stomach from heaving itself onto the icy ground beneath my face, but it never came. Daggers of sharp, searing misery tore through my shoulder blades and the ice at my back did little to numb the throb of defeat that infected the wound. I tried to distract myself from the torture but the only thing that I could picture was Tamira and her cruel smile… Tamira? Was it- No. Myriad… The harlot who whispered velvet words so sweetly into my virgin ears; her soft lips brushing against my affections until I was meant to implode.

And implode I did.

A scream found its way once more past my cracked lips. Spittle and dirt muddied my face and hid all of my former glory behind a wall of shame so barbed and callous that I would never be able to reach it again. Yet, the pain and the torment continued. It had taken everything from me, taken all that I knew and spiked it with the most dizzying drug we often called life. I spun and rolled from reality into a world so surreal that I if I were more foolish I would have believed myself dead...

Then I thought of Essetia.

But her memory did little to dull the ripping of skin. Her memory did little to hide to cracking of bone. Her memory did little to silence my screams as they were ripped from me, torn straight from my spine and thrown away to the brittle wind. My wings- they were finally taken from me.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

When I awoke, there was no pain, no agony… just grogginess. Drowsily I rose to my feet and with great effort I was able to steady myself enough to recognize the silhouettes of the tree line in the Edge. Slowly, I glanced around with tired eyes that were meant to tell my story but could not. They did not see what my mind had created, did not see the flesh and the blood, did not see the smoke as it clouded my judgment… Instead, they saw the coming of nightfall as it draped down around me like a comforting cloak. They saw the dim horizon as it fell away slowly with the sun. I trembled slightly trying to recall what had happened or if it were real… but alas, nothing solidified any of what I’d gone through. I shook with a new anger and strength that had been restrained behind barriers made of insecurity for far too long. I shook swiftly in order to rid myself of the nightmare and its lingering hold on my heart only to hear an off-beat thud- thud.

When I jerked around to see if I had in fact been right about the smoke and the pain and the torture… I saw what appeared to be two frail, chipped wingspans, still too small for a stallion of my size. I gasped, my breath stolen from my lungs and unable to breathe. A single thought managed to pass through my empty mind, one that took me by surprise. Evangeline.

“Evangeline… Eva… Eva!” My cries carried to the heavens in hopes that she would hear, that she would see, that she would find me. Though doubt and confusion sullied my sense of well-being, I knew one thing for certain- I needed that mare like anything on this earth needed life. I would have her, hold her, instill her in my heart. She would be mine.


She she was the only thing I still knew existed in my life anymore.

'Hear that?' Tallis asked as he sat perched on Evangeline's back, acting as a look out as she pawed away snow in search of a few morsels of grass to eat. "No. What was it?" She could hear very little over the crunching snow under her hooves. 'Voice.' Tallis responded. 'Calling for you.' This made Evangeline lift her head and look to the dragon on her back. "You're sure?" She asked, making the dragon nod his scaled head. 'Call Evangeline! Eva!' He repeated, making her frown deepen a touch. It was not uncommon for her to be called upon, Kahlua and Kaj had done it several times before, but they usually arrived shortly after. "Who was it? Do you know?" Tallis shook his head. 'Voice familiar. Can't place.' "I suppose we should go look?" As she posed her question she could feel Tallis' disapproval settle over her like a thick blanket of snow on the ground. 'Could be trap.' He warned. "Or it could be someone that needs help." She said as she turned her body in the direction Tallis was staring. "We cannot just ignore someone in need of help." Tallis grumbled quietly, knowing that his bonded had already made her decision and there was nothing he could do to change her mind.

Evangeline made as little noise as possible as she moved through the trees that were becoming increasingly familiar as the days wore on. 'Don't like this.' Tallis hissed. 'Dark out. Cold. Its trap.' Evangeline sighed. "If its a trap then you can tell me 'I told you so' after." The dragon was not consoled by Eva's words, but was put more on edge by her blatant disregard of his warning. "Come now, Tallis." She murmured. "Who else knows my name besides the ones that live right here in the Edge?" The dragon was quiet for a moment before speaking again. 'Basin.' Eva rolled her eyes. "We have an agreement of peace." She reminded the dragon, who merely snorted. 'No alliance. Only agreement.' He pointed out, and she knew that he was right. "I'm going to exercise a little thing called trust." She said. "I know I have not done that much before, but now is as good a time as any."

Finally realizing that he would not win the argument Tallis remained silent. Rather than move to his usual spot on Evangeline's neck he turned and sat so he could watch behind them because he did not trust that it wasn't a trap like she did. Even as time dragged on and no monster leaped from the dark to try and devour them whole he stayed vigilant. Tallis the Vigilant. It had a nice ring to it, he thought.

With the dragon finally preoccupied with his own thoughts of a title for himself Evangeline could relax a little and wonder over who had called for her. If it had been Kaj she would have known, Tallis knew their king's voice. The same went for Kahlua. She only walked a few more minutes before a shape loomed before her in the growing darkness. "Hello?" She called, her head tilting. Her pace slowed, but she did not stop. Something made her keep walking even as apprehension began to coil within her chest.

"Thor?" Clouds blotted out the moonlight so she could just barely make out the features of his face. For a moment she considered calling out Archibald's name, but even with the sparse light she could not make out any white markings on his body. Evangeline drew closer and breathed in his scent, mixed with that of ... decay? "Thor?" Her voice was tentative. The clouds shifted, allowing the moonlight to escape and bathe the world in its silvery glow. '...wings.' Tallis' voice broke through and she looked to Thor's shoulders, finding them absent of the small wings. For whatever reason she looked to the ground, finding the small, frail things laying there. Her emerald gaze snapped back to Thor's face, a worried frown settling itself on her lips. "What happened to you?"

"."

@[Thor]

autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower

Deep blues and opaque blacks washed across the thawing ground at my feet like colorless waves made of the midnight oil. The moon’s face was hidden behind a thin veil of clouds and her light drifted down to the earth in weak shafts of white lace. The quiet was heavy and weighed greatly on my heart as I stood waiting for words in the night that I feared would never come. So when they did, I was struck with shock and grief so deep that I failed to find response. She’d come… Evangeline had come. Those emerald eyes still shone through the shadows of the night as she emerged from the darkness with Tallis perched atop her rump in unusual fashion. “I’m here,” I choked out hesitantly. I felt weak from sleep and anxiety but above all else, I was devastated that the day had finally come. The Steppe had fulfilled its mission to rob me of the one thing that had once bound me to my own humility. Nothing was left but a growing sense of detachment that I was unsure if I would ever recover from. My world had come spiraling down around me as it had so many times before, but this time the pain was unfeeling. I had nothing left to give.

As if in slow motion, I watched as the glint of moonlight in Eva’s eyes fell down, down, down to the pieces of my body I’d shed. It was a queer sensation to see the barren bones scattered upon the dirty snow all alone. They were cracked and browned in places, as they had been exposed to the elements over the course of a few weeks. I couldn’t find anything to say that would justify what Evangeline now saw lying before her so I ignored the onslaught of emotion in favor of drawing her close. “Eva,” I murmured. “Illness has taken them… ” I finished quietly. I feared that my very life would be stolen from beneath my own nose and without anyone else, no one else to care about me or my wellbeing, I had turned to Evangeline seeking security.

With slow, tentative steps I approached the mare and her reptilian guard. I sought to feel her warmth against my skin and within my soul. She possessed a fire strong enough to thaw my heart of ice… I was no longer a young stallion and my legacy had ended all too abruptly but that didn’t mean that my life stopped too. I had released my memories to the Edge so that she might harbor them and keep them alive, but I did not want to remember anymore. I wanted to live.

“I was attacked in the Steppe, but it was not like anything I’ve witnessed before… It was so surreal Eva. It was a dark magic, whatever it was. Not long after, my wings became infected,” I lamented. The words didn’t seem real as they found their way to my tongue. But the images were too vivid as they reeled quickly from one moment to another across the empty plains of my mind. “I didn’t think it would lead to this… I’m not sure how to feel,” I added weakly. Quietly, I invited the mare closer in hopes that she would respond as positively as I hoped. Evangeline was the only soul I’d learned to trust fully since Tamira’s death and I hoped that she remained as such.

Emerald waves danced across my vision as I lost myself in Evangeline’s evident concern. She did not run from me, did not shy… She was an image of strength and beauty. I wondered what kind of leader she might be now and if she felt herself prepared for the role after growing into what I believed to be a powerful mare. I thought back to her admissions to me only a short time ago… She had been thrust from her home by shades in her life prior to Helovia, but a small part of my selfish heart was glad she had ended up here, with me. At times I wondered if she could see the greed in my eyes and the way I couldn’t keep them away from her. Try as I might, the thought of her sent my heart racing and my skin trembling; I was nervous.

I’d forgotten what it felt like to admire another as much I did Eva. She was everything I’d once imagined in my equal… Funny how I could distract myself with ideas of her in such pressing times of need. I’d almost forgotten why I’d called for her until she was instructing Tallis to gather wood for a fire. “You don’t have to do that,” I sighed. “I’ll be fine.”

Afterward, I tried to draw her gaze back to my own in order to drown myself in the green I’d find there. It was strange how the heat of a fire was so integral to our meetings… Flames, heat, and warmth… no wonder Eva had left such an endearing mark on my heart. Her mere presence brought a light to my dark life.

However after sharing my memories of the Steppe, I instantly regretted worrying the mare with my adventures. It had dredged up painful memories that plagued not only her mind but my own as well. “It was different… more violent and exact. It was as if- as if I was a target. A thick, black smoke rolled in from the mountains and suffocated me Eva. I’m lucky to be alive right now- it could have taken much more than my wings and I know that. But… I- I just don’t know how to feel right now.” The pain was evident in my voice as I attempted to turn away from her in order to hide my fear. I was not a fearful creature but there were something things that I couldn’t keep from affecting me.


But, as always, Evangeline knew exactly what to say in order to soothe my anxious heart. I knew there was goodness in her soul that urged her to comfort me but a deep, residing longing wanted it to be more than that. I wanted her to care for me… as more than a friend, as more than some sorrowful charity case in need of her attention.

The frustration I’d been feeling bubbled up from my gut and I tried to hide it from her but I was unable to contain the emerging frown that touched my hardened lips. “I know that Eva… I do. But that doesn’t change what happened to me and the fact that I couldn’t do anything to stop it.” A soft, callous laugh chased after the words as they fluttered coarsely in the wind. “I don’t want to be known for my gentleness. I want to be known for my strength and tenacity,” I flushed. My eyes sought her face once more but they closed quickly as her soft muzzle found my own. She drove me wild… she did. How could I make a point with her touching me like that?


The anger I’d felt washed away only to be replaced with a cold desire for her warmth. I couldn’t help but watch her curiously as she shifted away from me, simultaneously making me cringe and marvel at the same time. What was she doing? As she moved closer once again to allow me a chance to rest my head across her back, I couldn’t help the foolish smile that forced its way toward victory across my face. “I certainly can’t say no to that…” I boasted delightedly. Softly, I stepped into her side before lowering my nose to her withers. Cautiously, I traced her spine with bated breath before finally draping my neck along her back. She smelled of autumn leaves and fresh air… she smelled like home.

It is silly of me to think Evangeline anything like Tamira; she is too strong willed and self-motivated. Both things make me wonder how such a creature came into existence. But as I watch the fear curl her lips and crease the soft skin between her eyes, I cannot help but feel as though I must soothe her. Nightmares from the past have come to plague her waking thoughts but instead of mere unconscious believing, I know all too well of the terrors she speaks of. I nod slowly, my eyes never leaving her as if I am simply unable to peel myself away. Her flesh trembles and shifts across finely sculpted muscle and though I am tempted to reach for it, run a velveteen muzzle along her length, I refrain. “Then there will be light, don’t worry,” I murmured quietly.

I felt somehow responsible for her unease and though no amount of coddling could calm her restless heart, I felt it my duty to try. However, with the return of Tallis, I was suddenly nervous. I watched distractedly as he meddled with a few misshapen sticks until he was able to light them with flame. As the fire came to life and cast an orange glow along the thawing soil, I looked up into Evangeline’s emerald gaze.

When had we gotten here?

Though silence had once again pervaded our company, Eva picked up the conversation where I’d abandoned it some time ago in favor of admiring her flawless beauty. But of course, she was as stubborn and hard-headed as ever before. Her prodding served to stir my resolve where it had frozen somewhere in the depths of my heart. “I plan… to recover. You’re right; I can’t run from it, whatever it is. But you know what it’s like Eva, after all you’re dealing with that fear as well. Tell me… what is your plan?” I sought her eyes and her answer with a vigor I hadn’t felt in what felt quite some time. I wanted to meld into her thoughts and find, with certainty, all that she chose to hide from me.

The earth had finally started to unfreeze around us and vivid color flooded my senses. “I don’t want to use my strength to fight. I want to make a difference and by the grace of the good Gods, I’ll do it. I used to stand for something and now everything I know has grown stagnant and grey. I’m tired of standing still when all I want to do is run and feel again,” I urged more seriously.

Be mine, dammit. Give me the chance to breathe again.

With my face at her back now, her withers fit snugly beneath my throat, I tried to imagine a time I’d felt so uninhibited. She had given me so much in such a short amount of time- her friendship, her loyalty, and her confidence. I reached up to tug softly at her flaxen locks as they drifted down along her shoulder. I felt as though I had fallen into a drunken stupor, so tired and relaxed now that my adrenaline had faded and gone. My body was heavy and slack and though I tried to shuffle in order to rest back onto my haunches, it was difficult to maneuver comfortably astride The Pure. “When was the last time you truly felt Evangeline?”


Lifting my face up and away from the elegant dip that swayed back into her hips, I instantly regretted the loss of her warmth. But I wanted to read her expression and watch as the emotions raged and toiled within a sea of green. I wanted to see her feel something, see her defenses come down around her. I wanted her and all of her natural rawness.

There was a strange feeling of emptiness that spread slowly from my head to my hooves as I gazed longingly into eyes of deep evergreen. It pained me that this mare refused to acknowledge my attempts to be near her. Evangeline was a distant creature who lived in a world too far away for me to reach. Every time I pulled, she pushed. If I walked, she ran. I felt like I was fighting with the wind…

I couldn’t recall a time that passion had been so hard to come by. We were mere animals at our core and yet she appeared to deny any primal disposition and any efforts to pull her from her head. Even now, she appeared to be mulling over the past or maybe she was simply looking for another way to torture me. Either way they felt the same from my point of view.

She had brought up a good point about the mysterious havoc wreaking sin and suffering all throughout Helovia but just as we were mere animals, we were also mere mortals. We could fester and worry ourselves into a premature grave or we could continue living… and I wanted nothing more than to live. Over the last few days I’d felt so anxious, so fragile. But now that I’d lost so much, things that ranged from love to body parts, I couldn’t help but feel… free. This world could take from me as it pleased but it would not break me because it would only make me stronger.

Slowly, a dawning of realization seemed to awake my dormant emotions. I had come so far, straight from the pits of hell and I’d survived. As I gazed distractedly at Evangeline, watching the emotions as they fluttered across her face, I started to remember just who I was. She was completely right. I’d been running from everything my whole life and now I had the chance to face my fears. I wasn’t entirely sure what they were, but it was enough to urge me to act. However, I needed a friend on my side; I needed a companion to help me walk through the flames.

Pale orange light danced across our tranquil party as the flames began to grow and crackle. When Eva finally found her voice after a long time spent contemplating her secrets, I turned away from the flames to look back at her. I was more than surprised to find a strong sense of determination simmering behind those emerald eyes but it was determination nonetheless. Her speech was fluent and inspiring and I couldn’t help watching the way her lips moved over the words with ferocity and soul… she was perfect.

“Eva… my dear, I know what you mean and I know it’s an irritating situation, but you can’t do that alone. These murders, well, they’re much bigger than you and I. I fear every morning that I’ll wake up and find death and loss but I am only one being, one force against the evil. You and I both know we can’t take this thing on alone but I do know one thing at least: I intend to keep you safe, keep our family safe,” I said with growing resolve. “Just… don’t do anything without me. It would kill me if something happened to you.”

A heated blush lit my cheeks at the confession but I did not hide from her as I was so accustomed to doing. But of course, as any sane female was ought to do, she plowed ahead with intentions to break down all of the tenderness I’d tried to build between us. I feel every day. I feel the wind in my hair, the snow beneath my hooves. I feel the warmth of the fire.

Needless to say, our moment was ruined.

“I think you mistake my meaning Evangeline. I think you always have,” I chuckled in response while leaning heavily into her shoulder. She’d understand one day even if it wasn’t the present one.

Mares… you can’t live with them but you can’t live without them.